buckaboo21 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Holiday get togethers have always been held at my house. Last year I had one guest (family) who acted rude IMO. At the end of the evening I was putting away food. First the person asked for leftovers (I usually pack up some anyway but I didn't like being asked) then after me packing some the person says that there wasn't much there?!? I was shocked! Any ideas on how to deal with this?
floridasun5 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Well, depending upon who the guest is, as is if it is a close family member like a mother/father/brother, etc. I would probably have a different reaction than if it is just an acquaintance or a family member that is not close, however, if someone asked me for leftovers, I would just reply with something along the lines of "IF (with the emphasis on IF) I decide to give out leftovers, you will get some, but I am not guaranteeing anything, nor any amount". Now, this is just me, however I wouldnt just succumb to anyone's requests or rude comments when they were at my house eating my food.
buckaboo21 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 It is a close family member. I do not want to be rude in my response LOL that is my problem.
Rockfordmom Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Assume ahead of time that you will be providing leftovers for guests to take home and cook accordingly. I don't see anything wrong with someone asking, I always make enough so that everyone else doesn't have to cook the next day either. Be glad that they think your cooking is so good that they want leftovers.
nitrogirl Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Give this guest less this year!! Or ask if she would like to cook next year!!
floridasun5 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Ok, so if it is a close family member, my next thought would probably be to make a joke out of it. "Dad, I know the huge spread of turkey and 15 side items that I put out for dinner, combined with the 5 types of cakes and pies weren't enough to fill you, but I will give you whatever I can to take home."
missyjane Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Ok, so if it is a close family member, my next thought would probably be to make a joke out of it. "Dad, I know the huge spread of turkey and 15 side items that I put out for dinner, combined with the 5 types of cakes and pies weren't enough to fill you, but I will give you whatever I can to take home." CUTE!
MeliesMom Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 We do not do holidays at our house. We are always going to other family members houses. I don't think anyone gets leftovers nor does anyone ask to take some home. Sometimes there might be someone who offers people to take food home since there might be tons left or something. Unless it was my mom making food and I really wanted to take some home I wouldn't ask for leftovers. I'm not going to my aunts and uncles and my boyfriends family asking them for leftovers. I don't expect the people cooking to make enough so everyone could have leftovers. I would just tell them if there is any left I would make them a plate to take home and if they complain it wasn't that much then say sorry thats all I had and I have to give others a plate too.
dealluvr Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 thru the years i have decided to speak my mind.if the person doesnt like you after what you said to them then oh well move on i would tell him or her well do you want it or not?
allshoppedout Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 Wow buckaboo, that was RUDE! They ALREADY were invited to your home and given what I am sure was a delicious, adequate meal--what nerve.I am guessing that this person is NOT someone close to you--or else they'd not said it--or they would say it jokingly and it would not bother you. Sounds like a more distant relative. Someone who doesn't really care about your feelings. I can spot the type, I have my own to deal with:I have relatives-in-law and they think they have a RIGHT to grab birthday cake or desert whenever they come over. For example Maggie and Bob will be invited, but she had to work or Bob was sick so Maggie's mom will go and cut her a piece of cake--a GIANT one, mind you, enough to feed 3 adults--put it on a plate and actually cover it with the foil! This has happened at least 5 times. Only one time she actually ASKED. What makes her feel she has the RIGHT to do this? I don't know! Meanwhile, FYI, 1/2 the time Maggie doesn't even send a gift for my kid. From now on I whisk the "extra" cake away as soon as I can--without looking like a maniac, explaining that I don't want my kids sticking their hands (or toys) in it. She has caught on--and once she still snuck a piece to take--I am surprised she didn't bring her own Foil and stuff it in her purse!
Illinoismom Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 its the holiday's why make a scene, if they liked your food you should be honored, in my house I give it all away other wise it would just sit in the fridge
booga12345 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I think it really depends on who the person is. If my mom or sisters said that I wouldn't take it as bieng rude at all, but if it were a third cousin I might.
vsa3janes Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I understand wanting to be tackful and not hurt anyone's feelings. What about if you say - Name, when we serve the leftovers for a meal I'll give you a call.Chances are they won't want to come another day. We used to go to my aunt's and she saved containers to send leftovers home with everyone. Now that she has passed my cousin prepares the turkey, everyone brings the rest. She never sends home leftovers. But you do get to take home your original container clean.
Scanner420 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Laxatives in the leftovers! Problem solved! (Unamed) will stop asking for leftovers and you can still have your holiday.
Kandy Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 LoL Scanner. Does everyone invited bring a dish for the holiday meal? If not why not start. If everyone brings a dish tell them there are going to be X amount people here. Will you bring Green Beans etc. Have everyone bring a side then you still do the meat, rolls etc. Then everyone can take their own leftover's home etc.
Tracy72 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 when we do our big dinners....we ALL bring food....mil cooks the main things...turkey,mash tators rolls......and we all bring all the sides....she always hollers take you all some home ....we just always go back down later that night to eat again...we live next door...lol.....if you dont bring anything I dont think you should take a plate home with you...but I do know what you mean...there are a some in dhs familie that do that and they are not bashful about jumping right in there and getting a plate full to take...lol
krissy72 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 My sister is coming for Thanksgiving this year. She is rude. I don't think she realizes it, but everyone else does. I just try to ignore it while she is there and then complain to DH after she has left. I encourage people to take home food though. After I spend all of 2 days cooking it, I'm tired of looking at it.
ajdana726 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 We have a family friend who is invited everything..birthdays, holidays, and 1 time she brought her own containers, because she said that the foil pans didn't make it home. Well we almost fell over, so what we do is either make less or we have said that this is our dinner for the next couple of days. Well you would have thought i said i was throwing it away. Needless to say she got the hint and never asked again. We always make a joke about it when some holiday is coming up
AndreaInNC Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I have a cousin like this. She is single and doesn't cook. Last Christmas, we had prime rib. She filled 1/2 her plate with enough for 5 people. I made her put some back. I politely told her that she was welcome to take home one plate, but not everything. And the comment that you should have made about their not being much to chose from: Yeah - I'm a great cook, aren't I? Everyone loves my food!
princess7794 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I'm guessing this person's feeling wouldn't be hurt at all particularlly if he was so blunt in the beginning. So, you could simply reply that the portions are given out to ensure there's enough leftovers for anyone and for us (the people who reside at the residence).
Spooot Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Shoot, I'm usually begging guests to take food home after dinner, I'm usually sick of turkey by the time I get to the cleaning it off the bone part and just want it gone and don't much care who takes it. LOL Quite frankly I start making various packages when I get it all back into the kitchen anyway, perhaps that is the way to handle it..when you get it all back int hekitchen just start making up care packages and tell them when they leave their doggie bags are ready.
BrandyJervas Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I'm a former military wife and kinda got used to cooking for an Air Force lol we always had the single guys that were pretty far from home with no family around over for all the holidays. I always made them stuff themselves then they always took enough for a couple days home with them. At first they always tried to bring something but they were eating at my house for a reason they couldn't cook much of anything so they just brought the beer and soda. Now that I'm remarried and my family is a little bigger we still have people over just now it's family and some close friends and they still take enough for a couple days. I'd just tell them "my family needs to eat too and after all this I don't want to cook for a couple days". Or just refuse to give leftovers at all. I'll never get why people are so greedy around the holidays
princez916 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I have the same problem with my inlaws. They have come over the last couple of years after they have eaten dinner somewhere else and come eat a second dinner and have dessert at my house. Then they want to take more home. My dh never says no. It really irritates me. I always look forward to my BF turkey sandwich and haven't got to have it the last two years. This year his SIL invited herself to spend Thanksgiving with us. It wouldn't be so bad but it's her, her bf, their 4 kids, and her nephew! Oh yeah, and youngest brother is living with her so he's coming too! They plan on coming Wed. night and leaving Sat. morning. I don't have room for all these people!!! We tried to get out of it, but she didn't take the hint. Talk about rude!!
kmbrly Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I'm glad my family doesn't mind that I bring my own empty containers to take leftovers home in. (and before I get a "oh my god how rude", my sister insists you take leftovers home, and over the years it just became easier to take my own gladware to transport leftovers home, than to try and transport paper or foam plates covered in foil. She purposely makes enough that anyone that wants leftovers can take leftovers.)
MathGirl Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I have the same problem with my inlaws. They have come over the last couple of years after they have eaten dinner somewhere else and come eat a second dinner and have dessert at my house. Then they want to take more home. My dh never says no. It really irritates me. I always look forward to my BF turkey sandwich and haven't got to have it the last two years. This year his SIL invited herself to spend Thanksgiving with us. It wouldn't be so bad but it's her, her bf, their 4 kids, and her nephew! Oh yeah, and youngest brother is living with her so he's coming too! They plan on coming Wed. night and leaving Sat. morning. I don't have room for all these people!!! We tried to get out of it, but she didn't take the hint. Talk about rude!! Desperate times call for desperate measures; Tell your DH that he has to tell them that they are not invited and or they can not stay for 4days and if he doesn't do it you will be cutting him off from any lovin until after the holidays. Tell the family that you came down with the flu and it just isn't possible for them to stay. Send them a list of hotels in the area complete with prices and contact information. Good luck!
MathGirl Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I do think its rude for someone to take advantage of your good nature and generosity. Tell your family member that you'll be serving your left overs for dinner tomorrow since you slaved over the meal in the hot kitchen all day and because of this you do not plan on cooking tomorrow.
citrixgirl Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 well u could always say that those darn execitives in NYC got the rest of the left overs as part of there golden parachute... or something like that.
miller205 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I always cook enough to plan for leftovers for family members to take home. My FIL and BIL live alone and I at least get the satisfaction of knowing they will have decent, healthy-ish meals for a few days after. That said, both my SIL's get food to take home as well as do my nieces and nephews (even when they don't show up my SIL's take stuff to them) and all in my freshly purchased Gladware. I like doing this. Now that said, my SIL hosts Thanksgiving and never does a leftover get sent home with us. This same SIL is the one above that gets leftovers from our house. She will send me home w. whatever is left of what I made but that is all. NO turkey, nothing but what I made (broccoli casserole and 2 desserts usually). In the past I have made stuffing at my house just to keep and have there so that I have some sort of leftover action post holiday.
Illinoismom Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I think I am going to post a note on the community BB of the ederly stating if you want Left5 overs from our Thanksgiving you must bring something at the time of the dinner for us to give you a doggy bag, as some one always takes everything out of the fridge and there is never any for any one else. I like this idea
dancglady Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 We have dinner the next night... anyone who wants leftovers is welcome to come over! This way we see each other again and we get rid of all the leftovers!
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