scrabbler

I stopped shopping at Kohl's a year or so ago. I went in to see an assortment of towels for my newly done bathroom. I was ready and prepared to pay more for a nice fingertip towel to hang in my bathroom and "look pretty". I find what I want and head up to the counter to pay for my purchase. I purchased 2 fingertip towels and the total? $38 and some odd cents. As I was writing my check, my head was asking me what I was doing. The total wasn't even reasonable nor sensible but I was so stunned, my hand continued to write the check. I got home and handed the bag to my dh and he drove back the few blocks and returned it for me. I read the Kohl's threads here and I don't get it. So what if it is 75% off? It is finally a normal, regular price. I still peruse Kohl's periodically. It gives me a nice reality check.

Ahhh...funny story now that you mention the Zune...we bought the kids a new desktop with tons of memory for all of their music etc and we set it up a few weeks before Christmas. Well, dd has had a Zune for a while and it has had issues because of our old desktop. So, thinking of getting things ready for Christmas, I set up Zune on the new computer and then we put her Zune back and put the new computer away hidden in our closet. Well, since we hooked the Zune up to the new computer, it recognized that as its main computer and when dd attempted to sync her Zune, it gave her some grief. And apparently the new computer had a few "interesting" songs and pics on it too...so when Zune was hooked up to new computer, they downloaded on her Zune. DH and I laughed about it for days that dd was so disgusted with her Zune! It magically had new pics and songs and not even ones she wanted! So while pre-assembly is important, screwing things up ahead of time isn't good either! We also preloaded a new video game on the new computer and it was with a company that my ds already has an account with...in the downloading and setting up, it sent emails to my ds that I had to intercept and remove. Funny how to keep a secret you do all sorts of devious acts!

We learned that lesson years ago and dear boy, it was yours to learn this year.... Always open boxes before Christmas and assess how much damage can be done before the big moment to lessen the anxiety on the day. I will never forget this lovely train track with truck and assorted other pieces that we purchased for my only child when he was a bit over 1. I believe pieces were missing and the darn thing never got together. Since son was only 1 he cared little but you can bet it was a lesson well learned for us. Glad you had a frosty brew to keep your head sane.

I ordered a special lobster delivery last year for Christmas. The weather decided to not cooperate and my lobsters were stuck on a truck for an entire weekend. Instead of overnight delivery, I had dead lobsters delivered to my home. It wasn't the fault of anyone...weather is one of those variables that always throws a monkey wrench into our hopes and dreams. I called the company that sent them and they sent me a gift certificate that covered the cost of my purchase to use at my convenience. It is when incidentals crop up that we see the true measure of customer service. Hope you have good luck getting your stuff.

I think we all understand...what I was trying to do in my post is put it in perspective. I never went to family Christmas because it was painful. Nothing evil but it was uncomfortable for me and I usually left crying. Most of it was because of my own mother. This year, I am making extra effort to be there for Christmas no matter the pain it might cause for me...you see, my mother has alzheimers and the days of her knowing who I am are dwindling. So although your MIL isn't someone you enjoy and she isn't someone you ever would consider a friend if you met on the street, she raised the man you fell in love with. Someone else mentioned something that is always important....talk to your husband...make sure you understand him and see if there is a bit of a compromise that can happen. But it is up to your husband to back you up and be there for you. I completely get bad MIL's...mine is a widow also. But instead of wanting to spend time with her only grandchildren, she doesn't give a crap. Well, she pretends to care, but if you spend more than 5 minutes with her, she is done with you. So maybe it is sounds easier for me...unfortunately it isn't. A son loves his mother forever and watching my husband deal with his mother that ignores us is hurtful. Being unable to fix it is awful. The only thing that makes it all worthwhile is we talk about what makes it ok for the 2 of us. Do that with your dh and hopefully you guys can have a compromise that makes you feel more comfortable and makes her feel ok too. Hang in there...

I think you summed it up in your first few words...My MIL is a widow and has no family close-by other than my husband. All of her family is about six hours away. The first thing I must say is...YOU are her family. You married her son and became her DIL. She no longer has a husband and depending on how long he has been gone, it could be the loneliness or the adjustment period of being along. I wonder what she is doing that is causing you such great upset. You mention that socializing with her is awful because she mentions a friend that no one knows. Don't get me wrong, I get bad MIL's. But I think you need to try to look at it a bit different and see if you can change your viewpoint and perhaps it won't be so bad. I read your post a few times and I didn't note anything that was so terrible, that you shouldn't be able to abide for a while during the Holiday Season...so perhaps you left out what she really does. But I did note that you write things like: All her family is about 6 hours away, my family has been gracious, and that she imposes on YOUR real family gathering. She is your family and unless she is malicious and evil, maybe she could be dealt with a bit differently. But again, all bets are off is she is doing something that is downright mean. But just being boring and not having the greatest social skills, perhaps because she is lonely, don't seem like things that she should result in being banished from Family Gatherings. Please do let me know if I misunderstood something...and am wishing you Peace.

Extra money.

One year on the day my family had Christmas, the weather was rather bad and my dh had to work so my kids and I drove about 2 hours through some questionable weather. I received $1.50 in quarters and a spooner. I also received a gift certificate to a mall that was 2 hours from my home. All the way home, I cried while explaining to my kids that it doesn't matter what gift was given. I think my nerves were fried from the bad weather and the guilt of feeling I should show up and all I had to show for it was a $1.50 in quarters and a spooner.

We used to attend a Christmas Program, come home, have some snacks and open one present. But now the Christmas Program changed dates so we just spend some time together and open one present.

We washed a phone once. It did work after a few days of drying out...of course the screen was odd so dh decided to open it to let it dry further...yeah...that was a bad idea...very tiny wires that break very easy.... What we were able to do was add a line and get a free phone. Ended up paying for the rest of the year of the contract for the one that was gone but it was cheaper for us. Hope you find a great answer for you!

I think some of us lie to our kids and some "lie" to our kids. There are times when there is no need to tell a woman she is fat or a child that there is no Santa when it is so very obvious that they both need to hold on to what they believe. The only way your family will work is to do what you feel is the best. I felt it was best when my son looked at me and asked me ,to tell him what I thought. Doesn't mean we don't put out cute Santas or my kids don't go to Santa's store to buy things for us at school...just means we don't tell them some gifts are from Santa. We are completely selfish and want all the credit!! LOLOL

It is so interesting how you can call the same candy different names... I have always called the haystacks, Munchie Crunchies! And we melt chocolate chips and butterscotch chips to pour over the chow mein noodles and the nuts. YUM!

No, the first one expired. The second one is the one valid currently.

I don't really make candy but I melt chocolate and butterscotch chips and dip..does that count? This year I have been dipping peanut butter spread on ritz in the melted mixture and dumping peanuts and cashews in what is left over...YUM! I used to make the easy fudge that was on Oprah's site. My problem is I love to make it and end up with way too much.

Every ham I have ever purchased has had directions on the ham. Some come with a packet of glaze that you add near the end of the heating process. Is yours from a butcher thus it doesn't have any glaze packet with it?

Last year my stylist mentioned some new cologne/after shave. I purchased him a nice gift set and he was thrilled. This year, I haven't heard him mention anything so I do plan on just increasing his tip. I have heard mine mention tho that some of the gifts he receives are not, ummm, what he would buy and not in a good way. That leads me to understand that giving a gift is probably not something I should do unless I am sure it is something he would want. My stylist has also become a good friend but I would still rather give money than a gift he could not use or would want.

If I am remembering correctly, their warehouse was also in part of the big flooded area of Iowa...so any purchase helps them get a bit more on their feet. And yes, I have purchased 2 of the same 3 packs of socks and worn them to match..lol And yes, the code goes on the last page after you insert your cc number...it isn't final when you put in your cc so you are ok.

Why not? They know Mom and Dad put all the gifts out once they go to bed so they leave us stuff. One year it was a Diet Coke and a meat and cheese plate cuz Mom and Dad hadn't had much supper. When they were little, before bed, they took turns putting baby Jesus in the Nativity Scene and they were very excited about how it was the celebration of his birthday...every kid loves birthdays. Then we would get together the special plate and glass and decided what was good to leave to eat. And dh and I always ate something. Why not? We were busy putting out and filling stockings and putting together toys and putting presents under the tree. There are reasons for all the stuff that you do for Santa besides the reason of Santa...and we just enjoyed all the symbolism and adapted it to our special celebration, not Santa. There was no reason not to teach my kids all of the rituals and it made it easier for them not to have to lie when they were at school. Johnny at school: What did you leave out for Santa? ds: We left a sandwich cuz we thought he might want to eat something else. Also, I believe that it is important to teach them different rituals etc so when they grow up they can decide which are important for them. We also did St Nick's nite for a few years and they had the fun of putting out their slippers and getting something in them as a build up for the big birthday celebration. I think that is what people don't understand about not doing Santa...it doesn't make it less fun...it just made it easier for us because we aren't doing something we don't really believe in.

Updated with new code good until 12/17 in first post...

And being a parent, it is a decision you get to make for your kids. Just like there is nothing wrong with letting them believe, there is nothing wrong with telling them whatever you decide to tell them.

I wanted to add after reading 4gr8girls post that I did not ever intend to infer that if you celebrate Santa, you are not a real Christian. (and not that you intended that either..) My point has always been to do what works in your house. If you feel it is important to you to have Santa, have Santa. If you are conflicted about Santa and do not want to use him, it is really up to you and can work out fine.

It is different being a random person that runs across a child that believes in Santa than being the parent of a child that asks if there is a Santa. When my kids were younger and I helped out in school, reading with them etc, and it happened to be the Holiday Season, I never lied to them about whether there was a Santa or not. And it isn't difficult because kids don't read things into what you say at a young age. If a child shares their joy about sitting on Santa's lap or writing a letter to the North Pole, it would be incredibly cruel to tell them anything but what they believe. It would be like telling a young child with a divorcing parent that their Mommy (or daddy) really just wants to have sex with another man...it just isn't necessary. And it isn't necessary to lie, not because we never do as humans, but because they are kids and I can talk to them without pushing my beliefs on them. To me, it is and was completely different when my son asked me if there was a Santa or not and the emphasis on the not. It wasn't important for me to reinforce a secondary part of Christmas in our family. It was more important that I discuss what Christmas means to me and my family.

LOL..well now that we both know we ramble...LOL

And I didn't believe it was... My response was written because some people have given me a great deal of flack because we chose not to do the Santa thing...and we did do parts of it. We put out food and drink...we just never did Santa gifts. I do not care what one does in their home...it does not effect what I do in my home. And my comments are in support for anyone who feels that doing Santa isn't for them...there is nothing "wrong" with you. Someone earlier posted it best...families should do what is best for them. And that is what I believe.

It is wonderful if you decide that you wish to "believe" in Santa in your family. On the same note, it is just as wonderful if a family decides not to "believe" in Santa. We have always had magic in our home at Christmas time. In fact, we have magic year round. Not to get real religious-y here, but it is the amazing love that we recognize year round...Mary giving her life for a Virgin Birth, Joseph being an amazing Man and believing and as the year goes on, the absolute wonder that Jesus gave himself so we could live. I get Santa, I get people don't want it ruined for those that want to believe. I respect that and as a family, we never discuss Santa or not a Santa. But in this house, Santa is a fat jolly guy that doesn't hold a candle to God. Our magic and Holidays throughout the year, heck everyday, is appreciated and held special because of our belief in God. When my son asked me, I knew that in my mind and heart, the magic wasn't in the red guy, it was in God. It is in listening to your children and getting just the right present or doing just the right thing whether they wrote a list or not. In our family, we attempt to do for others. It isn't those presents we get but to learn to give a gift that make anothers day...whether it is an actual physical gift or it is an action...Christmas is about Giving, being thankful and knowing that there is something bigger than all of us. If you chose to make that Santa, that is your choice. But those of us that do not are not less magical and the time is not less special.