My dh has a very very large extended family. We used to buy for most everybody, but we don't anymore. I felt the same way as your dh the first year that we didn't give to everybody. Now I am ok with it. Nobody really cares and Christmas Eve with all of them is just as fun, nobody even notices. We still give to all the kids, draw names, and always buy for the mom, dad, grandparents, and host (usually a bottle of wine). I would just ask dh to try it out this year and then he will realize it isn't really necessary to do every year.