Jump to content

Christmas gifts recieved but not acknowledged

MathGirl

By MathGirl
in 2008

 Share

Recommended Posts

MathGirl

MathGirl

Posted
Posted

For the past 3-4 years we have purchased gifts for my husbands middle brother, at first just for him and his son and now also for his wife of 1 year and their toddler. My issue is that we have never recieved a thank you for the gifts, let along a gift in return. I don't give gifts to recieve gifts, but a thank you would be nice or at least some type of acknowledgement ex. "Kory really liked the Nike NCAA licensed football you sent"

 

I really don't think my husband will want to stop sending Christmas gifts to his brother. And I understand, in a way.

However he doesn't shop for them, I do and it is a bit frustrating shopping for someone who doesn't seem to appreciate their gifts. (or my beautiful gift wrapping ;))

 

 

Does anyone else have this situation? How do you handle it?

 

TIA

 

Have a great day!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
abentley

abentley

Posted
Posted
OMG!! I thought we were the only ones whos kids did not get gifts! It can be so hard to witness and go through every year!!! I swear if I did not purcahse stuff for "those" people as soon as as possible after every Chrsitmas, I wouldn't buy anything. They suck the spirit right out of me every year, and I feel soo bad for my kids AND them , because these are two very sweet boys!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
teach2nuts

teach2nuts

Posted
Posted
Let me tell you about my in-laws. My husbands sister has five children. Therefore I buy five gifts for her children. We are not allowed to give a gift they can share but 5 different gifts. My son received a gift two years in a row that was a used toy or book. One of the books he received had writing in it from the people that gave it to her children. One year in addition to the used toy he got was candy that had been opened and partially eaten by her children. My husbands sister and her husband having jobs making in excess of $100,000. They can afford to give a better gift than something used. I spend time each year trying to make a good impression on my sister-in-law. A lot of thought is put into the gifts purchased for her children. This year I am giving her kids gifts that were purchased after Christmas last year. If they like the gifts fine and if they don't like them I don't care. I have decided if my child is given a used gift this year I am going to let her know my child deserves better than something used. I have already told my husband that if he does not say something to her than I am going to tell her how I feel. I would rather my son not receive a gift than to get something used. He is 7 years old and recognizes new from old. Sorry!! I got on my soapbox about my sister-in-law.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
sdigman6

sdigman6

Posted
Posted

You don't mention if you know for sure they recieved them....but I have a short story to tell you.

My brother and I are not really on talking terms have not been for a while. Many years ago he told my dad he sent me something and never recieved a response. I told my dad I never got anything so how do I thank someone when I don't have it and have no idea what was sent to me????? I lived in a apt with about 6 other tenants, I guess the package would of been left in the hall way. Well I never did get the gift he said he sent, and he was mad at me for not thanking him.

We don't talk now for more then the reason of the gift being sent.

This was the FIRST time he sent me something in the mail that I am aware of.

 

I agree they should be thanking you , however do you know for sure it was recieved by them?

 

Maybe just mail a gift to the kids and have it signed for with a confirmation then you know now one picked it that walked by.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rockfordmom

Rockfordmom

Posted
Posted

Let me tell you about my in-laws. My husbands sister has five children. Therefore I buy five gifts for her children. We are not allowed to give a gift they can share but 5 different gifts. My son received a gift two years in a row that was a used toy or book. One of the books he received had writing in it from the people that gave it to her children. One year in addition to the used toy he got was candy that had been opened and partially eaten by her children. My husbands sister and her husband having jobs making in excess of $100,000. They can afford to give a better gift than something used. I spend time each year trying to make a good impression on my sister-in-law. A lot of thought is put into the gifts purchased for her children. This year I am giving her kids gifts that were purchased after Christmas last year. If they like the gifts fine and if they don't like them I don't care. I have decided if my child is given a used gift this year I am going to let her know my child deserves better than something used. I have already told my husband that if he does not say something to her than I am going to tell her how I feel. I would rather my son not receive a gift than to get something used. He is 7 years old and recognizes new from old. Sorry!! I got on my soapbox about my sister-in-law.

what do you mean you are not allowed to give a gift they can share? who doesn't allow you?

re-wrap the used gifts and give them back to them

Link to comment
Share on other sites
shopping mom

shopping mom

Posted
Posted

did you ever think of calling them and asking how they liked the gifts? you can say something like "I never heard from you so I was worried that they got lost in the mail". maybe they'll get the hint.

I like the idea.

 

I have taught mine that if the person is not there to see you open the gift and told thank you then you can call them or write them. My DH's brother send gifts some year and some they don't. We do the same depending on finances. Usually I send my Nephew a gift card simply because he gets more that way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MathGirl

MathGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks for all the responses. To respond to some of the responses.

 

*The gifts have been recieved. I always get signature confirmation to be sure.

 

*I wasn"t sure if it was appropriate to ask about the gifts or not.

 

*We can't visit during Christmas. My husbands schedule is very busy from August until January (100 hour weeks) and we live in Colorado and they are in Indiana.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
josetann

josetann

Posted
Posted

I'd at least keep giving gifts to the kids. Just accept that they won't call you themselves and tell you thanks, even if you see them in person a month later they won't think to say thanks. Doesn't mean they don't enjoy it though. Heck, as a kid it was sometimes hard for me to keep up with who gave me what toy. And as an adult, it's even harder to keep up with who gave our son what toy. "Man he really likes that tent, not sure who gave it to him...oh you gave it to him, well thanks!"

 

As for getting used gifts, why not give used gifts in return? It's possible they just rummage through the goodwill pile and wrap up some stuff, or maybe they're living beyond their means and simply can't afford to buy new gifts for everyone. If they say something bad about the used gift, then simply tell them you still have one of their used gifts and if you misunderstood the intention, you'd gladly exchange them. At any rate I wouldn't get too worked up over it.

 

Luckily we don't have that problem. We don't send gifts through the mail, we're able to see most everybody just before or just after Christmas.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
babygirl913

babygirl913

Posted
Posted
I personally would stop sending them gifts. Those parents ought to be ashamed of themselves. Any grown person should know that acknowledging the receipt of a gift and saying thank you is proper. They should thank you and see to it that their kids do to. Then we wonder why these kids are they way they are these days. Someone thought enough of you go to out and purchase a gift for you and you can't even say the words "thank you" :confused: That is soooo rude and unapreciative. People have no etiquette these days. It is a darn shame. :no:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ohitsunshine

ohitsunshine

Posted
Posted

Well I can honestly say if my kids receive a gift from someone we don't have daily conversations with, then I have them write a little thank you card. But I thought I was on the extreme end of the spectrum because I never see thank yous happening. Kids birthdays, I never see thank yous for, but again I will have my kids pass those out as well. But I don't expect to get a thank you because

1. I chose to give them the gift, I didn't mean to create work for them

2. People are busy and maybe they get gifts from not only you but 20 other aunts, uncles, cousins, etc and they don't want to spend all their free time writing thank yous.

3. I feel good being able to give to others and that is what I appreciate about the Holidays

Link to comment
Share on other sites
teach2nuts

teach2nuts

Posted
Posted

what do you mean you are not allowed to give a gift they can share? who doesn't allow you?

re-wrap the used gifts and give them back to them

My sister-in-law wants all five of her children to get separate gifts. I did not think of re-wrapping the used gifts and giving them back. Thanks for the idea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dancglady

dancglady

Posted
Posted

My sister-in-law wants all five of her children to get separate gifts. I did not think of re-wrapping the used gifts and giving them back. Thanks for the idea.

Your SIL sounds like she is selfish and she shouldn't be in charge of your Christmas shopping. You get to choose what you buy end of discussion! That not sharing crap is the dumbest thing I ever heard! Godforbid siblings SHARE!!!!!!!! Dollar store crap for her christmas present!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rockfordmom

Rockfordmom

Posted
Posted

My sister-in-law wants all five of her children to get separate gifts. I did not think of re-wrapping the used gifts and giving them back. Thanks for the idea.

I do like the Dollar Stuff idea, you'd only spend $5 plus tax on all 5 of them!

 

She gives your kids junk and you let her tell you that you have to buy separate gifts and you listen to her? She can't tell you what you can or can not buy for her kids! When she says that did you tell her that you want only new things for your kids?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
vsa3janes

vsa3janes

Posted
Posted

My sister-in-law wants all five of her children to get separate gifts. I did not think of re-wrapping the used gifts and giving them back. Thanks for the idea.

So why does you sil get to tell you what or how many gift to give her kids?!?! I would make the decision and do what I wanted to do. A game for the family to play together, a book they could all enjoy, a family dvd.

 

If she gave my child used items I would send her a thank you note and say "Thank you for the thought but if you choose to give my child used or partially eaten gifts please don't they won't be missed." Maybe she will get the hint.

 

If she sends gifts I would open them first to see what they were and decide if I would give it to my child or not. Would he really miss a gift from them?

 

Sorry I think this is terrible of her. Why worry about impressing someone who treats your son so poorly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
vsa3janes

vsa3janes

Posted
Posted

My sister-in-law wants all five of her children to get separate gifts. I did not think of re-wrapping the used gifts and giving them back. Thanks for the idea.

So why does your sil get to tell you what or how many gift to give her kids?!?! I would make the decision and do what I wanted to do. A game for the family to play together, a book they could all enjoy, a family dvd.

 

If she gave my child used items I would send her a thank you note and say "Thank you for the thought but if you choose to give my child used or partially eaten gifts please don't they won't be missed." Maybe she will get the hint.

 

If she sends gifts I would open them first to see what they were and decide if I would give it to my child or not. Would he really miss a gift from them?

 

Sorry I think this is terrible of her. Why worry about impressing someone who treats your son so poorly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AndreaInNC

AndreaInNC

Posted
Posted

did you ever think of calling them and asking how they liked the gifts? you can say something like "I never heard from you so I was worried that they got lost in the mail". maybe they'll get the hint.

more than likely they won't. My brother and his family have never acknowledged a gift from anyone in my family for the past 20 years and I am not exagerating or kidding!

 

Now my kids have always send thank you notes when we get his gifts. Except one year we went out of town right after the holidays and didn't come back until after New Year. My gifts were sent to his family to arrive by Christmas Eve. He had the nerve to call me up to see if we got our gifts because he hadn't heard from us! I just laughed it off.

 

But I'd be appalled if someone gave my kids something that was used - unless it was something "vintage" that they had asked for. I like the idea of giving them the gifts that she had given your kids the year before.

 

One of my co-worker's stepson worked for Volvo. Every year he would give them a gift that had the Volvo logo on it. She knew that more than likely he was just "regifting". So that following year anytime something came into our office with another company's logo on it - she put it in her drawer. Guess what the SIL got for Christmas from them that next year? The Volvo themed gifts have since stopped!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kimpooh19

kimpooh19

Posted
Posted
If your going to send someone a used present in some cases I think it's ok, but it's better to check with that person before you send it. I.e. This year, we are on a very tight budget and I have pretty much told everyone I will be doing most of my shopping from Craigslist. I asked my good friend if it would be ok if I got something for her 3 year old daughter from Craigslist and she was totally fine with it. I got her daughter the talking Disney princess throne in practically brand new condition for $15...so I don't mind used gifts, but books that have been written in or half eaten candy is gross! I would be furious!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vonnyb

vonnyb

Posted
Posted
I personally would stop sending them gifts. Those parents ought to be ashamed of themselves. Any grown person should know that acknowledging the receipt of a gift and saying thank you is proper. They should thank you and see to it that their kids do to. Then we wonder why these kids are they way they are these days. Someone thought enough of you go to out and purchase a gift for you and you can't even say the words "thank you" :confused: That is soooo rude and unapreciative. People have no etiquette these days. It is a darn shame. :no:[/QUO

 

Well said!!! You are sooo right, some people just have no class at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
abentley

abentley

Posted
Posted
I did just think of our Christmas morning phone calls we make. My DH will call his Dad, and I do my side of the family. We pass on how much the kids liked their gifts, if they were sent any during the call. Send warm wishes for the day, but I am guilty of not having my kids send out "Thank You" cards. I might reconsider that as an option this year!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...