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Start new family tradition need ideas!


stephdig

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Im just divorced after husband cheated after 20 yrs of marriage. Kids are 18 ,15,12 and 9. Oldest son and rest are girls.

I want it to be fun for them. Ive heard them say to me and each other it will be weird or different.

The 2 oldest have chose not to see dad unless its on their terms. The younger 2 have to go by court order.

 

So that said ...anyone have ideas for xmas. I have them xmas eve ...early xmas morning for santa and after dinner sometime xmas day.

My family is all passed away so its me and them.

Ideas are welcome of all kinds

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I just want to say I'm sorry you and your children are having to go through that.

 

I don't know what y'all "normally" do for Christmas, but I know you're going to get a lot of great ideas here.  One thought is you could go look at lights Christmas Eve, then come home and do a family game night or something.  Or maybe you could take turns reading parts of the Christmas story before bed.

 

Good luck!

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I'm sorry for you and your children. My parents divorced when I was 16, and I remember it being weird at first. In time, we grew to create new memories and traditions and I hope the same for you all. :gdhug5:

 

I like the idea of dinner in the crockpot and taking in a movie on Christmas Eve. Drive through some lights on the way home, too!

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How about a dessert party when the younger two get home on Christmas Day.  I'm assuming they will eat dinner at their Father's house so you could make their favorite desserts for when they get back home.  Maybe even add a mocktail with sparkling cider.  

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My husband passed away in September last year. My kids were 17 and 19. It was difficult to be sure trying to start something new especially while I was still in deep mourning, we all were. We decided that Christmas night we'd now go to the movies. Other than that we'll see what happens this year. I'm not big on change and really miss the traditions we had but I had no choice. I'm sorry you're going through this with young ones it will be difficult this year for sure.

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I like the idea of getting the kids involved to make the new traditions. May be you could ask them each to come up with suggestions of things they would like to do. If the ideas will work put them into a dish and draw out as many as you  would like to do. This could be once a week or the few days before Christmas. 

 

Another idea that friends of ours do is a Christmas puzzle. They enjoy working on it and if you visit them during the holidays the like for you to add at least one piece to the puzzle. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, starting Dec 25th until Jan 6th.  Put some gifts aside and open one each day of the season until the wise men find the baby on the 6th.

 

The other idea is buy a bunch of holiday themed books, wrap them up, every night one child chooses one and the older kids can read them to the younger ones.

 

Have a bunch of small wrapped gifts (generic gifts).  Read A Visit from St Nicholas and every time the word 'the' is read, they pass a gift to the right.  When the story is over, they get to open the gift they end up with.

 

Celebrate a version of Boxing Day on Dec 26th.  Have them find one thing that is still in great condition from their stash of stuff, and place it in a box to donate to the local shelter or thrift shop.  

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love the ideas... wish i had kids small enough for some ideas i am seeing this year... like the mini van expres, not to mention that elf shelf thing..

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

A few years ago, I became a foster parent. My daughter, then foster daughter was just having a tough time adjusting and the holidays were especially tough on her.  Our first Christmas together was a real doozy.  At my house, we don't do a big dinner, that's Christmas Eve.  We have appetizers, desserts, cookies.  My daughter really didn't eat that Christmas Day and it was getting pretty late.  She threw a huuugggeee fit! To keep the peace, my husband suggested we go to the truck stop and grab a bite.  For some reason, she agreed and off we went. We had a great time laughing and being silly.  So this is a new tradition for us.  

 

I guess what I am trying to say is maybe turn a negative into a positive.  Go out to eat, movies are always great. We love to drive around and look at all of the lights.  Have some hot cider and play board games.  The possibility are endless.  I would just try to remain positive.

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Speaking as a "child" of divorced parents (I was 21 when mom left my dad)  I think that for me, it's been hardest during the holidays etc. because everyone just wants to do the same thing.  My mom remarried and it's just kind of "insert new person here" and that really sucks.  In my opinion it's better if you do new things - different things rather than just doing the same old and acting like it's all good.  People always say it's hardest on little kids and I get that...but you have to understand for us older kids...our whole lives 20 years of tradition is now gone.  That's not easy either.

 

You may also not do things that all your kids get jazzed about - you have a wide age range. 

 

Try a cookie making day - girls will love that.  Do a movie or a dinner out on Christmas Eve.  I love the 12 Days of Christmas gifts idea...doesn't have to be BIG items but it's something fun to look forward to.  

 

I say totally bag the traditional if that's what they need or want.  Order Pizza on Christmas Eve and watch cheesy and fun holiday movies.  Find something in your area fun to do the week school is out.  Go ice skating... take a Santa picture at the mall with all of you in it.  

 

I say try to make it fun and different.  Recognize the elephant in the room and let them kind of tell you what they all want.

 

Happy Holidays to you and your family :)

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