timbermommy Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 do you do a auction or name exchange within your family? i ask cause my sister in law got married.. and in turn now she has 6 extra children we are supposed to buy for.. my father in law wants a 30 dollar gift minimum and i think thats obscene for a family as large as hers.. how would you handle this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandy Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I would say $30.00 gift minimum. /max @ $50.00 and play "dirty santa". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civicracinggirl7 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 i have a pretty small extended family, and i really only buy for my immediate family (mom, sister, brother, sometimes brother's fiance - if not they get a joint present, and my 2 nieces). (only other people i have to buy for are my bf -- the tough & expensive one lol -- his mom, the two kids i babysit for, and their mom) my boyfriend is italian and has the traditional huge family, so they always do a family lottery/secret santa, and then set a spending limit i believe on top of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gporter34 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well, I certainly wouldn't spend $30.00 each on that many for sure.lol That's a tough one. Not sure what I would do about that, maybe suggest to fil that that is way too high for that many people or just spend $30.00 on a family gift for sil's family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timbermommy Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 see even with a 30 dollar exchange minimum we have 5 in our family.. thats 150 bucks ... i thought the point of an exhange was to be more ...umm.. frugal lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civicracinggirl7 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 just noticed it was a $30 minimum, which is pretty outrageous. i suppose you could get a $30 item with a great deal, but that's $180 (at least) alone on kids you probably barely know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booterbunz Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I've been wanting to do a gift exchange with the inlaws, since there's only 3 people on my side of the family. But they're not into gift giving, so we usually don't do a whole lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMommy Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You said this was you FILs idea. Maybe you should talk with everyone else in the family and see what their take on it is. You may not be the only one who feels this way. And if they still decide to do it that way and you just can't afford it then go out on BF and buy what would normally be a $30 gift for a better price. That's what I do with some of the people on my list. With BF prices I spend the same on some people and just get them better gifts and with some I buy a gift that I would normally give but get it for a cheaper price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel_parker1999 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Personally I think doing a name exchange is great. One for adults and one for kids. It makes these easy and more managable and cost friendly. It just seems that if you have to buy everyone a gift, you end buying everyone cheap gift that they really didn't want, just because it was what the person could afford. But if you do the names people can spend a decent amount of money on one person and get them something they may really want and still come out ahead money wise. ...However I could be wrong....Hubby's family has a huge extended family Christmas party and the adults usually have to buy everyone a gift. That's everyone adults and kids. However this year they are talking about just doing kids. Which is good, still quite a few kids, there 8 under the age of 6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy72 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 we all buy for each kids....total of 13 kids this yr...use to be more but when they get at a certain age the get put in the adult drawing and a gift of $20 is bought with the adults exchange...and the kids get like a 5 dollar gift...so it get kinds expensive...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josetann Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 My idea, which I haven't stuck to that well, is to buy one or two people really nice gifts each year, and everyone else gets the usual thing. Without some kind of name-exchange where people understand just why you're doing that, it probably isn't the best idea. I've been the recipient of some of the "crap" gifts before, the ones where no thought was put in and it was the cheapest thing they could get. I'd rather just not get anything, so a name-exchange would be great. Then everyone would get at least one nice gift, instead of a pile of throwaway stuff. BTW, I'm not against the cheap gifts, just the ones that I get only because someone thought it was an obligation so they pick out the cheapest thing there is and throw some wrapping paper on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissy72 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 In my family we have gone to only buying for the kids, not our siblings and thier spouses. But when I was growing up I can remember that on my Mom's side of the family, she had a Mother and two sisters that were married and had kids, we only bought for my Grandma. On my Father side we started out buying for everyone then went down to picking names and then finally only buying for the Grandparents. He had his parents and 5 other brothers and sisters, all with at least 3 kids. It gets super expensive and I would rather spend my money on my kids and let everyone else spend thier money on thiers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebusylife Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I have 4 siblings with in-laws and 6 nieces/nephews. We all buy for the kids and our parents and the "big kids" do a name exchange. We don't set a min/max., we just buy what they want. I spent only $15 on one of my nephews, but he'll be thrilled as I got him something he really wants. I may spend $30 on one of my nieces, but the same reaction. DH's family is just him and parents, so it's easy there! We also do a kid exchange with my friends from high school. All the kids exchange names and we have a party and then later in the season all the adults go out to dinner by themselves. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gator2700 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I have a big family and big in-law family also. We have picked names for each kid so I only buy for 2 kids since I only have 2 kids. Each child gets paired up with another similar aged/gender child, so it's easier to buy for that child. We do this on both sides of my family. That way, I'm not buying for anyone who has 5 kids and I'm only buying for the amount of kids I actually have. So, my kids only get 1 gift each from their cousins on my husbands side and one gift each from the cousins on my side. Makes for a much more managable Christmas financially for me anyway. Then for the sisters/brothers and adults, we do a Chinese gift exchange. Each adult sibling/parent brings 1 gift wrapped with no name tag within the price range of say $10-20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2ella Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 We do an exchange with the adults ($40-50) and then all buy for the kids (b/c to us that is who C-mas is for) However I understand your point..with that many people it will be expensive with a $30 min Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanni Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I have 4 brother and sisters, 15 inlaws, and 26 neices and nephews, and some aunts. We buy for all of them,every year. This year we are drawing names for the inlaws, so it only leaves 31 people to buy for. I usually start my xmas shopping the day after Christmas for the next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayhaysay Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 In my family all the kids draw names while we're all together on Thanksgiving and for some reason they get into the drawing of names almost as much as they do the gifts. I don't think I've ever spent $30 on a Christmas gift for my nieces, nephews, and cousins, and I don't think anyone else has spent that much on my kids for the gift exchange. Maybe B-Days because then it's only one to buy for. The adults in my family have started playing the game where everyone brings a gift and you either pick one from under the tree or you can take a present away from someone who has already picked one.........for the life of my I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, we put a $5 limit on it and part of the fun is trying to find the best(or weirdest) gift you can for $5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whafs8 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 That is tough but maybe do a gift exchange and everybody draw 1 name to buy a good gift for and then give everyone else 5-10 gift. Just something small. That way the kids have something to open but you still are not way in the whole financially. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starshine Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 On my father's side we have a Christmas Eve party. I buy all of the kids something. This year they are all getting glove and hat sets. And the adults I usually give something I made. Last year I made homemade Cocoa mix and chocolate spoons They loved them. This year I am making everyone my Grandma's Chocolate Cookies( she is gone now and eveyone loves the cookies and misses them) and Grandpa's Peanut Butter Fudge (also Gone and boy do we miss that fudge!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandy Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 In my family all the kids draw names while we're all together on Thanksgiving and for some reason they get into the drawing of names almost as much as they do the gifts. I don't think I've ever spent $30 on a Christmas gift for my nieces, nephews, and cousins, and I don't think anyone else has spent that much on my kids for the gift exchange. Maybe B-Days because then it's only one to buy for. The adults in my family have started playing the game where everyone brings a gift and you either pick one from under the tree or you can take a present away from someone who has already picked one.........for the life of my I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, we put a $5 limit on it and part of the fun is trying to find the best(or weirdest) gift you can for $5. The game is called "dirty Santa" or well that's what we call it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diane175 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 We did name exchange for a few years and it went really well. We had the kids draw names and then the adults drew names. Each person (including the children) had to buy a regular gift and then a gag gift. Some of the gag gifts were quite interesting! We always had a great time and laughed til our sides hurt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffnatu Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Our family gets for the kids ( nieces and nephews) and usually spend around $30 max. Depending on what they want. I'm like others here... Christmas is mostly for the kids. I can buy myself perfume, pjs, or a very ugly hat like I got from an inlaw one year. We play Dirty Santa at work. That is so much fun. Hubby comes to work and plays it with us. Last year he wrapped up a 2x4 and taped a $5 bill to it. It was so funny watching people try to figure out what it was. This year he is deployed and won't be able to play, but he is sending me an ammo box so I have to think of something good to put in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkkan Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You could get them a "family gift"-a food basket or board game. My family used to do that at gatherings where lots of cousins who rarely saw each other were. We would get like a game or a nice blanket or some kind of homemade goodies in a basket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phins_jazy Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 i like the wrapped up 2 x 4 idea! last year at one of the parties we went to they had a wrapped up toilet seat......with a gift card under the lid. :) I was thinking of doing a diaper this year with the gift card inside of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Pam Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You can also go to the Target UPC Clearance list and see if there are any items that usually retail for around $30 that you figure they will like on 75% off clearance. If so, you'll only pay around $7.48 for each item. But they don't need to know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diane175 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You could get them a "family gift"-a food basket or board game. My family used to do that at gatherings where lots of cousins who rarely saw each other were. We would get like a game or a nice blanket or some kind of homemade goodies in a basket. That's actually a very good idea! We got one from one of my son's friend's family last year. It had two movies, popcorn, candy and soda in it. It was really nice and we loved it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffnatu Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 i like the wrapped up 2 x 4 idea! last year at one of the parties we went to they had a wrapped up toilet seat......with a gift card under the lid. :) I was thinking of doing a diaper this year with the gift card inside of it.The diaper is a great idea. I could think of so much stuff to do, but I have to be careful because some of the people at work don't have the same sense of humor as I do. The toilet seat is a good idea too. I bet that was priceless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
me2 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Dh is one of 7 and there are 20+ nieces and nephews, and that's not counting the nieces and nephews who now have kids of their own. $30 MINIMUM sounds way too high! His family does a family name drawing. We'll have one family for whom we need to buy a gift. They also have a $20 maximum, which is really, really tough! The idea is to make it low enough so everyone can participate and nobody feels left out if it's been a tough year. With only $20, you really have to hit the sales and get creative. I like the idea of doing a drawing and giving a family gift, just because it's worked well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gumball Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Our family gets for the kids ( nieces and nephews) and usually spend around $30 max. Depending on what they want. I'm like others here... Christmas is mostly for the kids. I can buy myself perfume, pjs, or a very ugly hat like I got from an inlaw one year. We play Dirty Santa at work. That is so much fun. Hubby comes to work and plays it with us. Last year he wrapped up a 2x4 and taped a $5 bill to it. It was so funny watching people try to figure out what it was.This year he is deployed and won't be able to play, but he is sending me an ammo box so I have to think of something good to put in it. How about some of those styrofoam packing peanuts in it with maybe a bag of M&Ms at the bottom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2apples Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 My brother, sisiter , and I buy for mom and dad, and the nieces and nephews. Parents buy for all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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