I agree that it's not about the $$. I have 2 kids very close in age and 1 much older and have never kept track of how much I spent as long as the 2 younger ones get about the same amount of stuff, and the older one does get less amount of stuff but his gifts cost more. Yes it's OK to spend less on them after they move out, he's an adult now. And how would he know unless you told him?