cassgurlie04 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Christmas eve every year is spent at my hubbys grandmothers with about 50 people. We in the past have tried to buy something small for almost every person there, yet not everyone there gives gifts. I suggested to my hubby that we just buy for the kids this year and of course his mom and grandparents but that we didnt need to give gifts to every adult there and he said he would feel funny doing that. Im not sure why he would feel funny but wanted to know if anyone else has a situation where there is a large number of people and how do you decide who to buy for?
AndreaInNC Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I have a small family, but my brother's extended family is quite large. They draw names - that way they just buy one gift but everyone gets something.
mgmckny Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 We used to buy for all the adults until a few years ago I suggested drawing names among the adults (we only have a few kids) and another family member asked why we needed to get any adult anything and so we decided as a group not to buy presents for the adults ( I tend to get the 2 moms things anyway and sometimes I see something for my brothers during the year that I pick up). Everyone has been fine with it. We get together for Chinese on Christmas Day and then come back to someone's house (usually mine if it's just the immediate family) and have traditional desserts and coffee later in the afternoon. The kids show off their loot and we swap tales and watch Christmas movies.
shopping mom Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 My DH decided 2 Christmas ago to not celebrate Christmas at all anymore. He does not go to any family events buy presents, or join me and the kids for any family traditions. If your hubby is celebrating with you and wants to buy all the adults gifts, I would help him shop and enjoy every single minute of it.
Rockfordmom Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Draw names, call the other adults and ask their opinions
guilliam Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 We used to have the same problem with dh's family. He has a LARGE family and we would buy something for everyone. DH got laid off one year (temporary) and we just called his grandma (his mom is unreliable) and asked her to let everyone know that we would only be buying for the kids because of it. It worked out great. Now, we don't buy for any of them (loooooong story).
sdigman6 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 We buy for my dh god children 20.00 is the average amount on them. we then buy for his parents. We also buy for our kids god parents something simple. This year we are giving them there school picture in a nice frame and somthing else small . There are 40 plus people there and its way to muc hto get for everyone that is there. His parents buy for everyone and they spend 50.00 per adult, and 10.00per grandchild. Alot of us parents know its hard to get anything for that much and they have no idea what they all like. We get the money from his folks and then we shop for them. I often buy stuff even if its over 10.00 and just eat the rest. I would rather they get something they enjoy then something that sits in the corner. I would suggest it to the entire family, there is a good chance everyone else feels the same way ...the economy is bad. Good luck!
dd50 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 My family is small so it isn't an issue but I had a friend who had 7 siblings and so did her DH. They pulled names for the adults and just bought one. They use to each buy the parents something and then started to chip in and buy them something big from all of them. Seemed to work out. One year the parents went on a cruise, another year they needed a fridge, etc.
noehlp Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Draw names, call the other adults and ask their opinionsI agree.
cassgurlie04 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Drawing names sounds like a great idea to me, although i ran it by my hubby and he said that if i want to do that i have to call all his family and see if they want to do that because he is not going to do it. UGH Im just at the point where we spend so much on christmas and i never know what to buy all the adults and im wasting money on stuff they probably throw in the corner and never even use..........
Tammywhite Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 What we like to do is, the girls buy a girl gift and the guys buy a guy gift. Normally something you would like for yourself. Then we put all the gifts in the middle of the room. Everyone who brought a gift gets a number. Then we go in order and we pick a gift out of the middle of the room or steal someone else's and they have to get a new gift or steal one. A gift can only be stolen 3 times and then it's dead. This can be a lot of.
mgmckny Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Drawing names sounds like a great idea to me, although i ran it by my hubby and he said that if i want to do that i have to call all his family and see if they want to do that because he is not going to do it. UGH Im just at the point where we spend so much on christmas and i never know what to buy all the adults and im wasting money on stuff they probably throw in the corner and never even use..........And I bet if you do sound this idea out with a couple of family members that you know best you will find that they like the idea!!! Especially with the economy the way it is, it would probably be a relief to some of them.
princez916 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I grew up in a large italian family. Christmas is for the kids. The adults would draw names so every kid would have a present to open. I tried to do this with dh's sibliings one year, (he is one of 7 kids, and there are 14 nieces/nephews), they all agreed to it, but some didn't hold up their end. It's just too expensive to buy for everyone, and they adults generally don't expect anything. It's more about the magic for the kids. Instead of buying presents for the adults, maybe you can make them some cookies or pies or whatever you like to make. It doesn't cost as much and is more likely to get "used".
vsa3janes Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 Our family started out small (3 siblings, parents & 2 cousins) but since the kids in the family grew up and married, then had kids we now have 25. We leave it up to everyone to buy for which adults they wish at Christmas but we buy for everyone on their birthdays. Of course, all the kids under 21 receive gifts. My buying theory is; if they are married they get a together gift. I shop all year round and usually buy the adults gifts in Jan or Feb when the holiday gift items go on sale. This year one couple is getting a $40 Christmas platter that I pd $5 for, another is getting a panini set $25 that I pd $7 for and one of my grown nephews is getting a paint can that is a hot wings kit was $19 I pd $7.50. This way I am able to give nice gifts on a budget I can afford. If it wasn't for bargains I would not be able to buy for everyone. Now one year when I my cousin was on hard times she made an old family fudge recipe and divided among everyone. I have made gifts many years in the past. Some years Christmas ornaments, jar recipes (all the dry ingredients), one year mason jars with pine cones and tiny lights inside. There are many things you can give that don't cost alot, just take a little time and imagine. After all isn't it the thought?
Kandy Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I'd either call up and see about drawing names or if you wanted to do something for everyone I'd do cookies, fudge, bannana nut bread, or such. Make mini loafs of bananna nut bread, apple bread or such for singles and give married folks a full loaf perhaps or give everyone a mini load.
Dragon13 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 T save money, we give cards or send cards to most relatives and friends. We don't expect them to give us presents either. My parents are dead, so only give to our son, hubby's mother (his father passed away too) and each other, plus few friends who give to us. That is it. And with gas and food up this year, best to do what we do, or do a drawign. Pam
ohitsunshine Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I have a bad habit of wanting to get everyone something. So for the past couple of years I make up cookie tins and hand them out with cookies and an ornament. Wrap them elaborately and wah laa...
krstee Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I was going to suggest the "name drawing" as well. We have done that in the past for family (Christmas) get-togethers. Also, (someone else already mentioned as well) doing a White Elephant gift exchange can be VERY fun! Everyone brings a gift (determine a certain spending minimum/limit) and everyone bring a wrapped gift with NO name tag. Put it in a pile and for every one who put in a gift, they get to draw a number. The spin my family put on it was that after the first one picked a gift, the second (and subsequent numbers) got to pick, but the 2nd one got to choose either #1's gift or an un-opened gift in the pile. If #2 picked #1's gift, then #1 got to pick another gift from the pile. The rule was that a certain gift could only be traded 3 times before it became off limits. I tell you - this was probably more fun than actually exchanging gifts...
twilightcalm Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 How about a "Family" gift for the different family units. Buy 3 pack boxes of microwave popcorn and attach something like a $5 Blockbuster gift card or a new board game or game cards like Uno, Phase 10 or some of those new card games the stores have near these items. My Nephews love the card game called Duck Duck Bruce. it's by Gamewright. All of these are fun. Here is the link:http://www.gamewright.com/gamewright/index.php?section=games&page=game&show=210
jarerice Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 We buy for all of the kids and then draw names on both sides of our family.
Grassy Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 On Chirstmas Eve, my Dad's whole family still gets together. It has grown to quite a good sized group. 10 Older Adults (ages 55-65), 20-25 Adults (ages 30-40), and never counted how many kids. :) They have had the tradition since around 1990 to do a white elephant gift exchange for an item of around a $15.00 value. One problem with "drawing names" for a large group, is what if someone can't come at the last minute? Then someone there won't get their gift that night. With the white elephant (try to tell people not to bring gag gifts)...whoever comes and wants to participate, have them bring a gift. Rule: if you come with a gift, you'll leave with a gift. For the most part, they make the gifts unisex, but if it is more for a woman, you can mark that on the outside...so that a man won't end up with bath & Body Works...LOL. Good Luck...In MY opiniion....I would NEVER buy gifts for a group of 50 people. That is just not in the budget, and the adults I know would feel better about just a name exchange (if you know EVERYONE will be there) or a white elephant. The other thing about the white elephant, is that it is a fun Activity as well. It is kind of the highlight of the night, it gets everyone involved with the same activity, instead of just everyone mingling in their own little clusters all night. Good luck! Sorry my response was so long...I guess I'm chatty this morning....:)
Grassy Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Also--- (LOL--I know...me again :) ) My DH's family trades "family names". There are only 5 families, and one doesnt even participate....LOL. So we do a 4-way trade, and it isn't even a surprise...We are trying hard to keep the focus on being together, rather than opening presents for 2 hours. Personally for that many people--let's see, 7 adults? I'd rather just by for everyone, but it's been decided that they all like this family swap...so I go with the flow.
cassgurlie04 Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 Thanks for all the responses, im going to run the white elephant thing by my hubby , but im sure he will again just say if i want to do that i need to call everyone, so if thats the case im gonna call the inlaws 2nite and see what they say. I hope they go for it as 50 people is NOT in our budget, because thats just his side of the family.
MathGirl Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Wow 50 people! that is a lot of time and money. Try talking to your inlaws and other family members they probably feel the same way you do. If your husband is still hesitant, try itemizing everything. Figure out average gift price, wrapping paper and greeting card costs and also the cost for your time (and aggrevation;)) say $10.00 per hour and show him the total. He may sing a diffrerent toon when he realizes the actual cost. My husbands work schedule is soo crazy from now until the middle of January so I do all of the Christmas shopping (luckily for just a few people) as much as I love to shop I would not be happy having to shop for 50 or more people. It kinda takes the fun out of it. It especially takes the fun out of it if you don't feel the gift recipent appreciates your gift. Good Luck!
cassgurlie04 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 ok now can you believe this......... i wasted my time calling 5 adults last nite for them each to say that if we didnt wanna give gifts to everyone they would understand but they were still gonna buy for everyone. WTHeck. I give up.
sdigman6 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I thinkyou dialed wrong andgot my dh family . his family got stuck on tradition , I am all about that but when your talking a money crunch that effects everyone its time to adjust the tradition a bit. I feel bad for you and know your fustration! make up some gift FAMILY baskets for each group with a board game, pop corn ,etc and call it a holiday
pumpkin456 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 we used to buy gifts for everybody about 20 adults. Then one year I suggested that we just do a grab bag and spend 50$. A couple of people were upset about the change but, really liked it when Christmas was less hectic. We though Christmas might be a little bit sad but actually we all enjoyed it more. We got back to what the reason for the season is. I am so much less stressed. The whole reason we started the grab bag was not the money seriously but, it is so hard to buy for adults if there is something that you really want most people will go but it for themselves. The other side of the family we do a couple grab bag and can spend either 50$ a person or 100$ a couple. We always buy for the kids for sure
MathGirl Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 ok now can you believe this......... i wasted my time calling 5 adults last nite for them each to say that if we didnt wanna give gifts to everyone they would understand but they were still gonna buy for everyone. WTHeck. I give up. That is so frustrating! It would have been so much easier to get your husband on board if other family members agreed with you. I guess the best thing if he doesn't agree is to come up with an inexpensive couples gifts. For some of my DH's family we purchased Starbucks coffee and mugs of their favorite sports teams for them. For the single family memebers maybe a starbucks gift card or gas card. Good luck!
trbarginhunter Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 We have a great time on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, mostly focusing on the kids...although we do buy a "family" gift for each family. This year they are all getting a San Francisco Music Box Company music box...sounds extravagent, but I paid less that $6 each with shipping (thank you Gottadeal!). I tend to buy next year's "family" gifts during the after Christmas or January inventory sales. If I was expected to come up with gifts for 50 adults I think I would do homemade candy or perhaps calendars (did those with my Girl Scouts, really came out well). For the calendars, goggle a 2009 calendar, shrink it on a photocopier to fit the bottom half of a 5.5 X 4.25 piece of paper (ie 8.5 X 11 cut in half). I buy the cardstock at Walmart $6 or less a ream. Copy the calendars and then decorate the top half of the paper--stamps/family pics/scrapbook paper, whatever. I'd hold them together with binder rings (office supplies). 50 would be a lot to make, but if you make one per family, to go with candy, movie cert, whatever, it should be doable. Or make them larger, so they can add their own 4X6 picture at the top...just put scrapbook paper or mats on the top. I'd say your Dh needs to help with all this since he doesn't want to change the plan.
jones10021 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I always buy something for everyone in my close family (no kids yet)...my whole family is just too big to buy for everyone so we just dont. And then some of my immediately family never buys gifts to give back....i always think to myself...better to give then to receive...better to give.....doesnt really help much.
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