Do you hate telling people what YOU want for Christmas?

[mom2monkiesx3]

Am I just strange? I absolutely HATE when people ask me what I want for Christmas every year. My husband and I are very fortunate and we buy things for each other and ourselves all year long. I also have a very fortunate mom and stepdad and father-in-law/step-mother-in-law who like to spend a generous amount of money on us.

 

The problem is I HATE to tell people what we want. Actually ususally I cannot even think of anything to tell them and that makes me feel even worse because I know how hard it is to shop for them, because they have everything the need or want also.

 

I for one think Christmas should be for kids and the adults should stop buying presents for each other in my family but is it rude for me to initiate that idea? My mom decided to just give us cash since we plan on making a big TV purchase after the holidays. My SMIL called today and I told her I was getting DH a Zune so maybe some accessories for that and she said she'd get him an I-Tunes card to open on Christmas and just cash to put towards his TV. I told her I need some jeans but the only jeans I wear is Lucky and in my small town there is not a store that carries them and they are so expensive, I felt horrible even saying it! She of course never batted an eye and proceeded to ask me what size shirts and shoes I wear also. Then asked if I needed a new purse, she is a Coach FREAK! I replied that the jeans were all I needed.

 

Does anyone else HATE this? What do you do when someone calls and asks what you want? And of course I get both "What do you want" AND "What does DH want" calls

 

With Dh's mothers family we draw names and then give nice $30-$40 gifts for each name. Reasonable enough. But I always struggle to make out our "wishlist" It usually ends up being generic stuff like towels for the house or candles even though I don't really need any of those items either!

 

And I SWEAR I am not a Scrooge I absolutely LOVE to shop for my kids and all the family! I even kinda like the challenge of finding something for FIL/SMIL and my mom and SD!

 

Any suggestions? Or ideas? What are on your wish list this Christmas?

[mgmckny]

I have a hard time telling people things also. My mom doesn't have the money to spend on us grown kids so I would rather she put it towards her 3 grands (my 2 and her 1 granddaughter). I hate having to tell my husband over and over what I'd like. He has no memory for things I say throughout the year and then wants me to sit down and tell him a list of 15 or so things so he can choose.....My mil has started giving us money or gift cards as she no longer feels like fighting the stores for the adults.

[citrixgirl]

I hate telling people what I want because most of the people that I have known for a long time, and that includes family, are not as well off as we are and I hate saying ohh this or that looks nice and knowing that some of these people had problems making there mortgage payment last month. Worse is that people ask me what to get for my kid, 3, and the truth half the time I don't know what to get him because he really does not voice what he wants other then books, which is what i usually tell people. I know bitch about your kid only really wanting books am I nuts.

[mom2monkiesx3]

Glad to know I am not the only one that Stuggles. Actually Dh and I pretty much stopped giving each other gifts at Christmas. Doesn't bother either one of us. I DID get him the Zune this year because I got an amazing deal when Buy.com had it cheap and I got $30 instant credit to put towards it. I couldn't pass it up for that price !

 

My mom mentioned getting us netflix but we already have it, maybe that is something you guys could use? You can get it for as many months as you want for a gift for someone!!??!!

 

Good luck with your wishlist!!!

[kanasia]

I absolutly hate shopping during the Christmas Season. Minnesota nice be hanged when it comes to this time of the year. The stores are crowded. Everything is grossly overpriced.

The commerical part of the holidays just has to go! I haven't even started because I can't drag myself into this rude exixtance. I am seriously thinking of giving everyone a check to shop on their own after the markdowns are on and that way they can get what they want.

What happened to church and a quite Christmas Eve supper. Gifts on Christmas morning for the little kids? Growing up I didn't even get a gift other than special homemade sweets...now if you haven't spent a fortune on the latest technology you're a Scrooge!

We spend time and money we don't have to buy these things. The gifts are opened in 10 mins. and then evryone looks around like "Is that all there is?" Two hours later they are not even looking at those things you worked so hard and long to get. Let's see ...WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON AGAIN? hum...Christ or loot?

[krissy904]

I have a rule for my kids (ages range from 7 to young adult). They are not allowed to buy me any gifts. If they wish to do anything (which is just not necessary), it must be something they make. And the "but I don't know how to make anything" excuse doesn't work. I may even help them out with a piece of paper and a crayon. Other than that, they know that I will be very upset if they buy anything. Holiday or not, if there is something I want, I will just buy it. I don't want to seem ungrateful I just don't buy into the "it's christmas so I must get you a gift" mentality. I give when I want and I want my family to do the same. I think the best gift I have received in the last several years is a vintage (really tacky) elf that one of my daughers bought on the clearance table at a local antique mall. I'm sure it cost no more than $2.00, but I truly adore it. yes, it's the thought that counts but I suppose that when families draw names it may be best to assign a price range. Just be glad that I'm not in your family and I drew your name. You might end up with a 25 cent pencil simply because I thought it reminded me of you as a child!

[Grassy]

Yes. It is hard. It feels awkward...like then you are TELLING them what to buy!

I feel like if someone wants to buy something, they should pick out what THEY like, and whatever they see that made them think of me, not to have to go shopping and feel like "oh well---now I HAVE to go on a mission because that's what she wants".

 

I don't ask people what they want because I think it is awkward too. (usually). I DID ask my Dad this year, because he was the only one I had left to shop for at the time, and he actually gave me an idea, and he didn't even flinch-like it was not a problem for him! (I thought it was funny-I expected the ol' "Oh, I don't need anything." But this time he did, so it worked out. But even with that---he won't be surprised at all when he opens it, so I got 2 more things to go with, so they will be the surprises.

 

In a similar way-I also don't really like baby registries, because I feel like, even though I might be able to get something they NEED, it isn't as exciting when they open the gift at the shower, because they've obvously already seen it. They aren't like "oh how cute!" they are like "oh cool, it's the bath tub I wanted" and toss it aside, because they already know every detail of the item---it isn't new and exciting.

[laffnatu]

I feel awkward telling someone what I want also. I went shopping with friends last night and while in BB&W one asked me what I wanted from there for Christmas. I said I don't know. She made me look around and I found something cheap for her to buy me.

 

My future SIL asked what I wanted. He's 18 and is spending alot on dd for Christmas. He bought hubby a $25 gc to Olive Garden. I told him to just add my name to dh's gift and we would both enjoy it.

 

I prefer just buying for the kids in the family. My thought is if I want something, then I'll buy it myself. I do buy for the inlaws and my parents though.

[conj]

I am in the same boat as many of you, if I *need* something I've already bought it. If you are a family member and you need me to tell you what I like we're not really that close anyway, and a gift is not necessary.

 

I buy gifts for the adults, because I like to buy, not because I feel an obligation to do so. I don't feel hurt if I don't get gifts.

 

We are in the middle of Hannukah, and my kids have at least a gift a night from us, DH has at least 2 gifts a night (all but 2 are from me) and I had a few things. Hurts the kids feelings that I don't have a turn, but I have fun watching their reaction.

 

my list this year :

Convertible (preferably a little 2 seater)

a new garage

humidifiers - 3 - and filters for them!

a 30-45" HD TV with a very wide base

 

 

 

These are not things anyone asking for a list would pick up for me.

[jarerice]

I don't like doing it either. But over the years I have gotten used to it. Dh's family always wants to know what to get you and the kids. So I always have to come up with something.

[justprettynpink]

I think that mothers are givers......If I have extra money I always spend it on my boys. I feel guilty doing things for myself, therefore I feel guilty telling someone what I want...(I do not really need anything)

[mom2monkiesx3]

I think that mothers are givers......If I have extra money I always spend it on my boys. I feel guilty doing things for myself, therefore I feel guilty telling someone what I want...(I do not really need anything)

I think you said it perfectly. I think that is going to be my response from now on, Mothers are givers! That is PERFECT!

[wdotdiddlysquat]

I think that mothers are givers......If I have extra money I always spend it on my boys. I feel guilty doing things for myself, therefore I feel guilty telling someone what I want...(I do not really need anything)

Isn't that the thing though? Mothers are givers so you and your hubby have mothers that want to give to their kids. Just because you are adults doesn't make them not want to buy you things. How will you feel when your kids are grown...wont you still want to buy for them?

Don't get me wrong, I too find it awkward feeling, but if I try hard enough I can normally think of things I've been pining for. We make a rule that there is no buying allowed during the Christmas season that way we have ideas for family members and it doesn't put them in an awkward place of buying us repeats.

I hope you can find a way to feel better about all of this :)

[laffnatu]

I think that mothers are givers......If I have extra money I always spend it on my boys. I feel guilty doing things for myself, therefore I feel guilty telling someone what I want...(I do not really need anything)

If I have extra money I will always spend it on my kids too. I was at Costco Friday night and finally bought a microplush blanket that I have wanted. It was under $22 and I have put it in my buggy at least twice and always put it back. I put it in the buggy Friday and told my friends to make sure I didn't put it back. LOL. And it's not like it's alot of money... I just kept talking myself out of it. But now I'm glad I bought it because it feels so good on my bed. LOL.

[nirvana4all]

I tell my family things that are on my wish list, things that I will get around to buying, but dont need today or I would go get them.

i.e. a new set of frying pans, an 8800GT OC2 card, etc.

They are my close family so I have no problem w/ this. For extended family, or friends I do feel a little guilty if I were to tell them "what i want".

[christib327]

I really hate giving other people ideas too. The only one that doesn't bother me so much is my husband.

What I hate even more than making wish lists is opening presents!

[Guest vhjetski81]

I have problems asking for anything period. I went through a really bad divorce and did the single mom thing for a while so money was always tight. I would rather have the money that was going to be spent on my go for my son. I was always taught that Christmas presents were for the kids anyway.

[Fishboysmom]

I would just ask for gift certificates to a restaurant or to the movies.

We can always use them here.

[Fishboysmom]

I absolutly hate shopping during the Christmas Season. Minnesota nice be hanged when it comes to this time of the year. The stores are crowded. Everything is grossly overpriced.

The commerical part of the holidays just has to go! I haven't even started because I can't drag myself into this rude exixtance. I am seriously thinking of giving everyone a check to shop on their own after the markdowns are on and that way they can get what they want.

What happened to church and a quite Christmas Eve supper. Gifts on Christmas morning for the little kids? Growing up I didn't even get a gift other than special homemade sweets...now if you haven't spent a fortune on the latest technology you're a Scrooge!

We spend time and money we don't have to buy these things. The gifts are opened in 10 mins. and then evryone looks around like "Is that all there is?" Two hours later they are not even looking at those things you worked so hard and long to get. Let's see ...WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON AGAIN? hum...Christ or loot?

 

I think it is called the giving season for a reason.

[Melissa]

Depends on who is asking...

[JayR]

I"ve got to agree. I go totally blank when asked that question. To me, the best part of a gift is the fact that the giver took the time to look for something they thought you'd like. Even if it's a shirt you wouldn't be caught outside in, it's the fact that this person thought of you when they saw it.

 

I could name all day what Dd and Dh would like. Me? The answer most likely is, "Uh....um...er...uh..." which isn't exactly helpful.

[jbdinos]

I don't enjoy it either because I am not picky but at the same time I never usually want anything. I spend days worrying over what to say if someone calls to ask. I would rather have the gift from the heart that someone who was close enough to know my likes/dislikes picked out than going to pick up something I put on a list. I think it means more. However I know each year someone is going to ask so each year I worry constantly over a list and then if I think of something I worry if it's too expensive/cheap. Well this year I figured out two things I want... and guess what... NO ONE CALLED..... just my luck...

 

And at home I am totally ok with just giving and it doesn't matter to me if I receive as if it starts mattering I will know I lost the meaning of Christmas somewhere!

 

So to all of you who don't like this, maybe we can start a support group.... lol

[Princess7915]

My family always trades our wish lists with each other. We all kind of have a no buying anything for yourself rule after November 1st and we "put out the lists" around Thanksgiving. It's kind of turned into a little tradition in itself to email out our wish lists. Because everybody does it nobody is embarrassed by it. We all put all kinds of things on there even what scents at B&BW we like and gift prices range from stuff really little like $10 up to more expensive items. It's really meant to be a shopping guide and we are all free to pick from the list or come up with our own ideas for each other.

[Iliveforblckfri]

I"ve got to agree. I go totally blank when asked that question. To me, the best part of a gift is the fact that the giver took the time to look for something they thought you'd like. Even if it's a shirt you wouldn't be caught outside in, it's the fact that this person thought of you when they saw it. /QUOTE]

 

I have to agree with this. The big feeling I get with a gift whether I am receiving or give it is the special feeling that goes into it. Last Christmas, I was very Grinchlike when I would get suggestions from my nephew about what would like. I wound up getting him a game that I thought he would like, but wasn't on his list. Christmas became special when I opened my gifts from my niece and found a 5.00 puzzle magazine. She told my dh and I that one of her best memories was watching her uncle and I doing the crossword puzzle in the daily paper. That was the best gift I remember receiving due to the thought that went into it.

 

This year I can't wait for people to open the gifts from me. I didn't use lists but bought gifts that I know my neices and nephews will love. Now if I could come up with an idea for my sons.

 

Have a great holiday season all.

[fluffkin79]

I like getting presents. Especially from my ILs because it could be ANYTHING. I love the thought and the surprise. I like candy, ugly shirts, smelly hand lotion and candles (I can't/won't burn them with 3 toddlers/preschoolers running around). I am happy someone thought of me. I am a big kid on christmas and I don't want to know what is in ALL the packages.

 

That said, I am a SAHM to 3 under 5, so I don't have a spare second to think of myself. I forgot how to think of me somewhere in between sleep deprivation, potty training and trying to make dinner. So when asked "What's on your list (and hubby's, and the kids')?" I am usually at a loss. I don't have time for hobbies, and its hard to buy another adult clothes. So I usually come up with something lame, like gift cards or household stuff. I know that ruins the fun and surprise, but I really can't come up with anything else. This year I want a dresser, a new winter coat, and some sunglasses (nothing special - the kids tend to break mine - any will do). The dresser and coat (probably) are too expensive to ask for and nobody want to buy me sunglasses. They think they won't get a style I like. I try to explain that it is one of those things that I just keep forgeting to pick up, but still....

 

Well, looks like GCs for me again this year (don't get me wrong, I like to shop), wish I could think of a long, reasonably priced wish list for myself.

[samisma]

This is difficult for me, always has but more so now.

 

I'm not very well off-financially, and I'm a single mom. My family asked me to make a wish list and all I could think of was that I wanted them to give savings bonds or something I could put in DD's savings account for college.

 

Are there things that I want? Absolutely. But there's nothing I want more than to be able to have that savings for my daughter.

 

I wouldn't turn away a gift though

[mrn8]

Nope, I wish people would just ask. This year, I just told everyone that Sam's Club gift cards are preferable, because I've got to replace the tires on my wife's Durango, at a cost of about $750.

 

Last year, I asked for Amazon GC's and picked up a couple of things that I had on my wish list for a while.

[hopeky94]

I"ve got to agree. I go totally blank when asked that question. To me, the best part of a gift is the fact that the giver took the time to look for something they thought you'd like. Even if it's a shirt you wouldn't be caught outside in, it's the fact that this person thought of you when they saw it.

I have to agree with this. The big feeling I get with a gift whether I am receiving or give it is the special feeling that goes into it. Last Christmas, I was very Grinchlike when I would get suggestions from my nephew about what would like. I wound up getting him a game that I thought he would like, but wasn't on his list. Christmas became special when I opened my gifts from my niece and found a 5.00 puzzle magazine. She told my dh and I that one of her best memories was watching her uncle and I doing the crossword puzzle in the daily paper. That was the best gift I remember receiving due to the thought that went into it.

 

This year I can't wait for people to open the gifts from me. I didn't use lists but bought gifts that I know my neices and nephews will love. Now if I could come up with an idea for my sons.

 

Have a great holiday season all.

I agree with this as well, as does my mom... but my brother, sister, and their families have never grasped that concept!

 

As much as I love buying for all of my family, I'm kinda relieved that the adults all drew names this year. I would love to recieve a gift like the PP's $5 puzzle magazine: something given not because they "have to give something" but because they took the time to think of me personally! That's what I try to do for them every year but it's so hard to do when they're all "expecting" a certain level of gift. KWIM?

 

I guess this is a little OT, sorry... but to answer the original question: yes, it's VERY difficult to tell my family what I want for Christmas, especially when the things I'd truly like to have are ones I know they'd never get!

[Shortness]

I always tell people small things. No matter how much money they have, I don't feel right asking for expensive or things I want that might be more than I want people to spend. For instance, I have asked for a cooking thermometer, a yoga DVD, a reprint of a picture of my great grandma... I also feel that Christmas is a time for the kids--and I'd much rather them buy something for my kids than myself.

[lexyreyes72]

I have no children but I hate telling people what I want. Most of the time they don't get it for me anyway and I usually end up not getting it myself during the Xmas sales and miss out. I believe Christmas is for kids and spend way too much money on my friends kids, however we all have a little kid inside of us - especially at Xmas time, so if someone wants to get you something just give them some ideas. I usually give different items in different price ranges so the person can pick something appropriate - a book, a CD, a calendar. This are just token gifts anyway. Just b/c you're an adult doesn't mean you can't enjoy!