Princess7915 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Okay...so for how long now have we known about BF? UMM...since last year's BF so it's not like a suprise. I've been hounding my hubby about "need the shopping money" for WEEKS and been getting the standard "i'll be there" reply. We are BIG TIME anti-credit card uses. So today he tells me that instead of the $1,000 he promised me...I may only get like $300!!!!! I don't know weather to charge it and say tough luck buddy (which only screws me too) or suck it up and just do the shopping that I can and be happy. Any advice on saving a new marriage (and his life) appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikov3 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 tell him he's not getting anything for christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VonnegutFan Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Use a credit card with the lowest interest rate, pay it off ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erh12275 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Well the best advice I can give is for you to start doing the finances...lol. Seriously I would use the cc's and pay them off as soon as possible(and this is comin from a person who has NO credit cards because she refuses to do the damage she has done before). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ean1879 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Stop being so ungrateful. There are millions of people that won't even be able to celebrate Christmas and you are unhappy that you "only get $300" for BF? Wow, life must be tough sister. And the fact that you are even kidding about divorcing or killing him makes you sound like such a greedy person. I hope he signed a prenup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alimfp Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I'd have a problem with my husband only "allowing" me X amount. Maybe finances are dealt with in a very different way in your household (and you are okay with it, though it doesn't sound like you are). DH and I consult one another one purchases of $100 or more (not including food), but if he ever told me I was only getting X instead of X.. I'd just march my behind to the bank and get what I wanted out. That said, be grateful. I've found out that I may not have a reason to go out and shop on BF as the $200 I thought we had for this may not be there afterall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manduh203 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 How about getting a job urself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess7915 Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 I will follow up on EAN1879's comment by saying first, I'm a little offended. We are a young, recently married couple without a lot of holiday spending money...that $1,000 is all of it. So obviously was hoping to get it to go as far as possible, hence the purpose of BF anyway!!!! Also...He handles the finances, by his choice because I'm staying home and starting a photography studio (not sitting on my butt) and I let him because he's a smart cookie. I trust him so I consult him on purchases out of respect for his financial planning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffnatu Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Depending on what you need to buy you can make $300 work. I'm assuming since you said young recently married that there are no kids yet. If no kids, there's less people to buy for right there. And anyone that knows that you are recently married and you are starting your own studio shouldn't be too upset if the presents are slim this year. Personally, I only buy for my kids,hubby, nephews and niece ($25 limit on each of them) and mine and hubby's parents. I don't expect gifts from my siblings because I know they have families they need to get for also. And I would much rather they bought my kids something then buy me something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ean1879 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I will follow up on EAN1879's comment by saying first, I'm a little offended. We are a young, recently married couple without a lot of holiday spending money...that $1,000 is all of it. So obviously was hoping to get it to go as far as possible, hence the purpose of BF anyway!!!! Also...He handles the finances, by his choice because I'm staying home and starting a photography studio (not sitting on my butt) and I let him because he's a smart cookie. I trust him so I consult him on purchases out of respect for his financial planning.Then you should respect his decision to give you only $300 for BF. (Follow your own logic). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenniferharrison82 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 1000 is alot of money..I would be happy with the 300 and I have kids to shop for...kids are really pricey :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booterbunz Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Ouch, such criticism! I honestly think that if I were you, and you know that it could be afforded without suffering later on, to put it all on a credit card and pay it off asap! That's what I plan on doing this year so I don't have to worry about carrying cash around on such a hectic day! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treasure60 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I wouldn't do anything drastic until you have talked it over with him. All I can say is one person's $1,000 might not be much as it is to another person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alimfp Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 You know, if you are that upset about his holding $700 back, I recommend you get involved with the finances as well. Just because he may be "smarter" in the money dept than you are (just a guess, from what you said), you can still be involved. I am always amazed at how many spouses are given "allowances" weekly and have no idea how much is in THEIR bank acct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebony0421 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 She's not divorcing her husband, she's blowing off steam. She is allowed a place to vent, so let her. WE HAVE BEEN A PEACEFUL BUNCH, SO LET'S NOT CHANGE THAT BECAUSE WE ARE ALL ANSY ABOUT NEXT WEEK. Can you use the credit cards and pay the $300 on them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffnatu Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I wouldn't do anything drastic until you have talked it over with him. All I can say is one person's $1,000 might not be much as it is to another person.Definitely talk to him. Money can cause so much trouble in marriages. Discuss with him what you would like to buy that day and maybe you both can come to an agreement.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffnatu Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 LOL.. There is nothing wrong with venting.. Lord knows I have done and do my fair share.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayhaysay Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 From a person who is currently paying off credit cards that were used early in her marriage when $$$ got a little tight, take the $300 cash and just cut down on Christmas this year. I have 3 kids and will be taking $350 on BF. And feel free to vent. I think we give pretty good advice around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess7915 Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 Thanks Ebony!!! Friends appreciated :) I'm not at all ungrateful I've had, in recent years, Christmas's with no presents for each other, only immediate family. We didn't even have money for a tree! I LIVE for CHRISTMAS!!! I LOVE to buy presents for people especially my mom and my hubby (who has been my "boyfriend" for 10 years). We are both 26 and just getting back on our feet so I was really looking forward to shopping and wrapping and giving presents. So I'm just pretty bummed out that, once again, it seems Christmas takes a back burner...which is life, blah blah...priorities I KNOW. But still, anyone else would be bummed out too and do I really deserve to be strung up by my toes for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snikerfitz Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I wouldn't do anything drastic until you have talked it over with him. All I can say is one person's $1,000 might not be much as it is to another person.I know that we have 3 Kids and we spend about 200 to 250 in each kid every year all I get i about 500 for family. I am thankful for that because it has been worse in the past years. You think you are upset about only 300 for family wait till you have kids. Not trying to be offensive hopefully not takin that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest all2tired Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 OK here's my , Do what you can with the $300 and if you need more to finish your shopping then use your CC if necessary but pay it off asap. I'd also ignore the posts of the poeple that are being nasty and assuming they know all about you, your finances and your work status. Vent all you want, it helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shopping mom Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 If you only have 300 and you agreed not to use credit then take the 300 redo your list and have fun. You may want to ask him to explain to you why there is such a drastic drop in funds, so you will understand what has happened to the money. My husband and I do not charge either- with one exception for me and that is Kohl's. I only use it if I get the extra discount and then I immeadiately go pay it, so I don't know that really counts. Kohl's sent me another coupon for 15% off and it will be good on BF. A week ago I had bought items then the offered the discount and some of the items were dicounted more. Originally I had spent about 300 but I took the receipt in asked her to refund it and put the items on my charge. She did and I paid the charge off and still had $110 left. More money for BF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manduh203 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 As I said.. get a job so u can spend ur on money and not depend on his money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMommy Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 It sounds like you're more upset about the number you will be able to buy rather than the actual amount spent. So, you could just spend less on each person. You are newly married, with only one income, and I'm sure putting money into your studio. So no one should be upset with the amount spent. That's about all the advice I can give you. DH and I are one of the lucky few couples that don't argue about money. So, it's an unfamiliar situation for me. But I could see how it could cause HUGE problems in a relationship. So since you've got your venting out (which can seriously need to be done in a marriage) maybe you should just sit down and disscuss the issue with him. That way maybe you can work something our for this issue and other future money issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msomnipotent Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 If the things you really need to buy are on sale on BF and they wind up costing more than $300, you would be saving money by putting it on the card provided you don't pay a lot in interest. But prioritize what you want. I have learned that instead of saying how much I need, I say what I need to buy and then say how much it costs. Oh course he knows I am not asking him for money, I'm telling him what I am buying! And it really isn't the amount of money you spend on Christmas. It's being happy with what you have and who you are with. I am not happier now during the holidays than I was when we were broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommie2one Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 What kind of things do you plan to buy from the ads so far? Big ticketed items? You may just have to wait till next year and/or charge one or two must haves. Do you have any children? If not, I would make due with the $300 and for next year, save $ when you can yourself. Im a SAHM myself, and my husband does the finances. I save money by change from grocery shopping and/or other shopping trips. I also still get money from my grandparents and parents for birthdays and holidays (yes Im 30 and still enjoy my card w/ $!). Save from there if you get that too. My husband doesn't give me a set amount, but if you are just starting out, don't go all out for christmas this year. You guys have years ahead of you to have those "big" christmases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanam Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 well i think you need to analyse why has he dropped the budget from 1000 to 300 if the reasons are sound enough, then i think you can compromise a little because all the money that he is planning to save is for both of you ONLY.i know it can be pissing at times when you really really wanna buy something and your husband tells you , honey can you buy this later. but then again i think its the reasoning behind it that matters. so analyse and then make a decision and if you feel that 300 is still less,i would suggest talking it out with yr husband and letting him know how you feel.thats something i would have done if i were you ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalle1212 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 If he just can't give you the total amount by next friday but will have it the week after or something go ahead and charge it. But if its now there its not there and you would only be screwing yourself financially but charging it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer0530 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I think you should sit down and talk to your husband. Maybe there is a reason why the available money was dropped since he does all the finances. I take care of everything, all bills, all accounts, all planning. All my DH does is put his paycheck in the bank. Maybe there are unexpected bills that came up like a hospital bill, home repair bill, etc. Sometimes it happens, exp: We had money set back for all our bills and BF shopping, however we ended up having to take about $225 out of BF Shopping money to pay to have our furnace fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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