How do you feel about gift requests?

[hpowers]

I'm the type of person that pays attention through out the year and enjoy getting items that others have mentioned they would like. I HATE coming right out and asking someone what I should get them. On the other hand a close relative specifically TELLS me what to get her family members and so on. One year even requested just gift cards for her and her hubby. I feel it's really tacky but not sure how to handle it.

[hillbillyswife]

I also like getting things that I have heard them say they want.

 

If someone told me what to get them I wouldn.t do it (unless I asked them what they wanted) I would get them what I thought they would like. Oh well if they don't like it it........it is the thought that counts

[Elmck]

I get my kids, their spouses and my brothers family to give me list. I try to do some of the list and then throw in a few surprises, depending on what they ask for. For friends that I do something for I don't ask for list. I doubt I would get someone something like a gift card if they told me to get it, but if my brother asked me to get my nephew something and told me why, then I probably would.

[Buckeye Shopper]

I don't have a problem with a git request, I guess because eventually I'm going to ask anyway. Some of the gifts I buy I know what they woudl like but others I really have no clue, and would love for them to give me a few ideas.

[floridasun5]

I'm kinda torn about it. On one hand, I always give my parents a list because my mother never knows what to buy us and we both prefer it that way since she has no idea the things I am into and we dont have to worry about returns that way. I will give her a list of a bunch of things and allow her to pick from it, and she will usually throw in 1 or 2 things as well that I didn't ask for, but otherwise it works out well this way for myself and my daughter.

 

Now, for other relatives telling others what to get their kids could be fine as well since the adult might have no idea what the kids are into. I dont quite know how I feel about the adults one. Maybe it's all in how it's relayed, but I can see it going both ways from being ok to being tacky depending upon the relationship and how's its relayed.

[conj]

My kids make a list that we have available if friends or family ask what they'd like, but that is the only encouragement there is for that.

 

I find it tacky to have someone ask me for a specific gift, but I try to take into account factors such as age (how much tact should an 11yo have?) circumstances (recently unemployed) and general disposition (are they always this bold?). Then I either ignore it completly, or use the suggestion, but I don't dwell on it.

[momof3luvs1]

My whole family and close friends always do gift requests and I LOVE it! This way I know exactly what to get them and vice versa. This way my kids get things they actually need/want and I can do the same as well. I dont find this tacky at all, it is what we are all comfortable with and appreciate each others budgets.

However, I dont do this with people I gift with but arent super close withI just try to think of something I know they will really like.

My mil ALWAYS used to buy all junk that we would never use and it always went straight to the goodwill box and I felt terrible. Since we moved she doesnt send the kids anything at all anymore and Im fine with that.

[SuggaD]

I don't have a problem with family and close friends making reasonable gift requests.

[allshoppedout]

I don't have a problem with family and close friends making reasonable gift requests.

I'm with you BUT they need to do it before BF because I always like to get someone the MOST i can for the money. If my parents want a camera and my spending limit is 150 on them, and I can get a 200 dollar camera for 150 on BF and it is great quality, I want THAT ONE for them, not have them tell me the week after and have to settle for a model that does much less/has less features because I need to stay on budget

 

My inlaws got us cheap clearance junk, stuff that doesn't match our tastes or our home, bath towels WITHOUT wash cloths to match-who does that?

If I give towels as a gift they have washclothes and handtowels with them... (and same year MIL buys herself a 600 dollar purse)... We don't exchange anymore... AMEN

[tinkrbel]

I agree it would depend on person and the way the request it was made but I would definitely draw the line at GC. I am not giving anyone money for Christmas unless I know they needed it and then they'd outright get cash (or a check/visa card if mailing) to spend as they need.

[Buckeye Shopper]

I agree it would depend on person and the way the request it was made but I would definitely draw the line at GC. I am not giving anyone money for Christmas unless I know they needed it and then they'd outright get cash (or a check/visa card if mailing) to spend as they need.

My sister asked my son what he would like for Christmas. He's 12 and is not into toys, really not into much at this age other than video games lol. We limit what we spend on eachother's kids, so she will give him like a gamestop gc to combine with his own money. Don't get me wrong, I have taught my kids that a gift is just that, a gift. It's not something they're entitled to, but she would like to give him a gf towards a game. Myself, I will give anyone what they ask for within reason.

[mom2monkiesx3]

We ask for list and people ask for our list. List are used as GUIDELINES only. List can NOT consist of only giftcards. I HATE giftcard gifts. Here I spent $30 on you, Merry Christmas..or here I spent $10 but its WORTH $30 is much more impressive to me

[Kim3498]

Well, this is a tough one. It depends on the situation. My MIL use to buy absolute junk and tons of it for DS13 and his cousins. After years of "recycling" that junk, I broke down and suggested buying them one big gift instead of lots of "small" ones. We tried it about 8 years ago and when she saw how nuts they went over the really nice toy they got that year, well.... Now I do all her shopping for all 3 boys. My mom and 2 aunts have me pick DS13's stuff out for them off of his wish list. That works great because he gets exactly what he wants. On the other hand, I would never just tell someone what me or my family would want unless they ask. Edited November 16, 2011 by Kim3498

[Deal Grabber]

If you ask me what i want ill tell ya if you dont ask whatever you get me is just fine.Most of my family ask what to get my kids.I cant stand them buying my kids things they already have or things that dont fit or things that they just wont use only for the simple fact that youve wasted your money and i would never tell anyone their gift didnt work out.id simply throw it out which is terrible i know.

[AndreaInNC]

My kids have always had 2 lists. A mom list and an everyone else list. The everyone else list has things on it that are less than $20 since we never know how much the person wants to spend. I feel the person that asks for gift ideas doesn't really know the person they are buying the gift for and I'd rather let them know of something that I want/need instead of having them guess or give me a gift card. But that's just me! But that's just me.

[KBsDarling]

A friends family does (what I think) is the WEIRDEST thing....On one side they basically exchange/give $...you are to go buy the stuff you want and return it to the other person (who gave $) they take it and wrap it and everyone opens christmas morning...they started cause they wanted to get what the person liked but the grandmas of course wanted to know what they were "giving"....I still think this is bizarre but they have done it this way for 10+ years

[Buckeye Shopper]

A friends family does (what I think) is the WEIRDEST thing....On one side they basically exchange/give $...you are to go buy the stuff you want and return it to the other person (who gave $) they take it and wrap it and everyone opens christmas morning...they started cause they wanted to get what the person liked but the grandmas of course wanted to know what they were "giving"....I still think this is bizarre but they have done it this way for 10+ years

My teenage neices did this with my mom. They were wanting hollister, and certain shoes and such, it just worked well for them. My mom would take it home and wrap it and they would open it on Christmas. We would all make a day of Christmas shopping and a nice lunch. She didn't want to give cash or gift cards because she wanted to see them open gifts.t

[tinkrbel]

I HATE giftcard gifts. Here I spent $30 on you, Merry Christmas..or here I spent $10 but its WORTH $30 is much more impressive to me

ditto...Example: I JUST got back from shopping with my mom's bff and she was talking about not knowing what to get kids on her list. We had been talking about naught kids with angel faces so I showed her my godsons Toystory photo bday invite and she started about how the kids love buzz and how there's an older sister. She walked out with 2- Buzz Operation and 2- 50th Anniversary operation for $4 when they each have a value of 18.99-20.99. She could have given the kids parents $10 or more per kid and gotten crappier stuff.

[yummy mummy]

i have absolutely NO issue making or giving requests, especially for kids. my boys for example are HUGE lego freaks and collectors and everyone knows this so it's very likely if a person were to gift them with a set that we would already have it. it's just all around SO much easier on everyone involved to ask for specifics sometimes. same goes for my monster high crazy nieces! i can't tell you a darn thing about those toys and i know they have a ton of them already so i ask my sil which ones to get them and done, provided i can get my hands on them of course

 

maybe it's just me, but i've had lists cc'd to me by a family member a few xmas' ago that i thought were on a whole different level and entirely rude. requesting certain items is fine with me (like clothes, especially for toddlers!) but when you start saying certain brands ONLY such as gap etc...that is a little much.

[angleyez423]

We ask and get asked by most family. Depending on who asks us we just ask for gift cards for Amazon. BUT, we live 3,000 miles from our family. We fly back for Xmas each year, but don't want the return trip to have a ton of stuff for 4 people plus a dog (dogs give gifts too). If it's someone we know will get something off the list, we give them suggestions that will fly well. If they are someone who doesn't take that into consideration, we go with giftcards. We buy everything online and ship it to a family members house so we don't have to fly with it. But I always want to know their lists BEFORE BF. I want to get them the most I can for the money. My husband's family swaps names and has a strict limit but my family has none.

[hpowers]

Ya, it is a wise to make a gift list before purchase. But for me, gift has something to do with a surprise. So i wanna give them surprise too. So i will not like to know what my friends wanna get.

That's what I like I guess is the surprise. To me it means I care enough to pay attention to someone's wishes without actually asking.

[kellane26]

I ran into this very thing this year and it left me speechless.

I'm not a big fan of being told exactly what to buy for someone. It's a little rude in my opinion.

[Stowasser]

I ask for list if its needed, my parents give money so I don't have a problem with that. When the kids were little, my mom would give me money prior to christmas and I would buy the gifts, wrap and put their names on it and tell them what I bought (I usually do a better job of making the $ stretch) and they were pleased. The kids are teens so they like money and giftcards. I like giftcards as long its to a store I buy from. I also like money, I don't see a problem with it. We have a small family so we communicate what we are buying etc

[mccabefamily29]

For kids I prefer a request. For adults....not so much.