sdigman Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I am really tired of my kids not picking up there things around the house. I can take it away, for MONTHS, ground them, even toss it out. They still will not put there things away, I feel like I talk to myself.... Keep in mind we have 4 kids and I am speaking about my 10 & 7 year old. My 13 year old picks up after himself. The 3 year old is pretty good about cleaning up , though she has her moments and she is only 3. I thought that maybe this year I will reduce to 1 gift from us rather then the normal 5 or 6 for each of them. Then a few from santa I am sure will show up. I wonder if this will help with them and picking up after themselves. I hate to sound anal but it is not just me my dh is tired of it too. anything that hits there hands when they are done that is where it stays. Do you think if there is less under the tree from us they will get the hint? OR will it not matter one bit??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wnc_mom Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 i dunno i am one of those that thinks christmas only comes 1 time a year and i want it to be as special as possible! So i think its the ONE TIME a year u can really go all out for your kids! I would try to have a talk with them ( not when they are in trouble and not with your dh just you!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmck Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 If it were me I would be the one disappointed on Christmas Day that I did not do more, unless the one gift was just super special. I don't think it would help them with picking up better though. I would pick up after them and keep it. When they want something back they do an extra chore or pay for it out of their allowance, after all maid service does cost. If they don't buy it back within a certain amout of time it goes in the yard sale pile, donation pile or the trash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntsmomie Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 IMHO, at 10 & 7, kids really should be pulling their weight in regards to chores around the house. I do not agree with cutting back on presents simply because they're not cleaning up. I just don't see that it would help the issue. Work with a chore chart, make up a rewards system, find another way! :) Christmas is supposed to be for happy, fun memories. I'd definitely sit down with the two of them and talk about what's going on....and what's expected of them in the house as far as chores go - especially cleaning up after themselves. And I stress the TALK part of that. No reason to yell at them b/c they'll likely tune it out (mine do if I'm yelling too much). Actually, I think I'll be doing this with my own kids today (who are 6 & 4 and having the same issue). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illinoismom Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 why is it people want to change behavior at Christmas, If you haven't done it all year why do it at Christmas.Why punish children at what is suppose to be the most exciting time of the year. I never get that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tn20 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I don't think it would really relay the message. If you limit presents because that's all you can afford or because you want your children to learn that Christmas isn't all about gifts, then that is perfectly understandable. But, I think that if they just end up with a couple of gifts when they are used to lots, they aren't going to think, "This is because I don't take care of what I have. If I want more gifts next year, I better start picking up after myself." Most likely they won't connect the two, then be very disapointed. And the last thing that you want to do on Christmas morning is to be having a family talk ("The reason you only got X number of gifts is because....."), that is just asking to spoil the day. Maybe you should buy gifts that won't be scattered around everywhere (DVDs, video games, books, clothes) and if they ask for something expensive or with lots of pieces, explain to them that, unless they start picking up after themselves, then they won't be getting anything messy for Christmas, BDays, etc. Christmas can be just as special with a few gifts as it is with many gifts, but I just don't think that your message will get across. And if your kids usually get several, then, without warning, they only have a few, more than likely there will be harsh feelings over it. If you decide to limit gifts or avoid gifts that will make a big mess, I would definately make sure that its not a suprise. Make sure that everyone is well aware of what is happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim3498 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I would pick up after them and keep it.This is what I do. I pick it up and put it away for 1 week. If he picks up after himself for that whole week I give it back. It works really well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffkin79 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I understand where you are coming from. My DD6 is terrible about just letting things drop. Done with a toy? Leave it there. Done with dinner? Leave the table. Finished with a treat? Drop the wrapper on the floor. I am constantly reminding her to pick up after herself. We thought that we could encourage her to be more responsible with her things by putting abandoned toys on time-out in the garage. It didn't work. We have a garage full of toys and nothing has changed. Sure, she puts on a good show when something goes missing, but it really doesn't affect her much. She actually seems relieved when I clean out her room. It is so much easier for her to deal with when it is less crowded. My point is if your kids are like my DD, they won't miss the "missing" toys at Christmas. They probably don't want or need the extra responsibility. However, they will notice if their siblings get more and I agree with others that the holidays are not the best time to start the "if you had only..." conversation if you can avoid it. Maybe instead of things, you can give your kids an experience gift. Try a gift certificate (or homeade ticket, if no certificates are available) to a children's museum, aquarium, laser tag, amusement park, water park (many hotels have indoor waterparks), concert or show. Our local high school has cheap family swim passes that my kids would love to have. Or maybe they would like a GC for fast food, movie theaters, or music downloads. That way they are still getting something, but it can't be left on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berry1014 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 We sometimes have the same issue with our 8 yo DD. Taking away the toys or grounding her from the wii or computer didn't always seem to work however I did find something that did. Normally she packs lunch 3 to 4 days aweek and buys lunch at school 1 or 2 times a week. If she fails a test or fails to do her chores we take away the lunch buying privilage and she has to pack for a full week, sometimes longer. Since she really really looks forward to buying lunch it has made a nice incentive for her to do what she is suppose to do. Is there something else your kids really enjoying doing that you could remove the privilage for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyers12345 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I understand where you are coming from. My DD6 is terrible about just letting things drop. Done with a toy? Leave it there. Done with dinner? Leave the table. Finished with a treat? Drop the wrapper on the floor. I am constantly reminding her to pick up after herself. We thought that we could encourage her to be more responsible with her things by putting abandoned toys on time-out in the garage. It didn't work. We have a garage full of toys and nothing has changed. Sure, she puts on a good show when something goes missing, but it really doesn't affect her much. She actually seems relieved when I clean out her room. It is so much easier for her to deal with when it is less crowded. My point is if your kids are like my DD, they won't miss the "missing" toys at Christmas. They probably don't want or need the extra responsibility. However, they will notice if their siblings get more and I agree with others that the holidays are not the best time to start the "if you had only..." conversation if you can avoid it. Maybe instead of things, you can give your kids an experience gift. Try a gift certificate (or homeade ticket, if no certificates are available) to a children's museum, aquarium, laser tag, amusement park, water park (many hotels have indoor waterparks), concert or show. Our local high school has cheap family swim passes that my kids would love to have. Or maybe they would like a GC for fast food, movie theaters, or music downloads. That way they are still getting something, but it can't be left on the floor.Very good advice! We have the same problems, and this year I am cutting back. Until this year, the kids average 50 wrapped gifts each. Many are still in their packages, opened up and broken, never played with, etc. It is such a waste of money when it comes time to go through and toss them, even though I never purchase anything for less than 75% off retail. My entire family is pigs... and they do not take care of their things. We will be buying fewer gifts and if I do cave and wish i had more closer to the date, I will pick up gift cards or something fun like that. We have even thought about heading to the beach the week before and skipping gifts at the house. It's a 10 hour drive to Gulf Shores, and the hubby has to take his vacation over Christmas (stupid company!). They get enough stuff from everyone else to more than make up for our lack of gifts.. and they will remember it. They don't even remember what Santa brought them last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conj Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 make their chores include picking up a room - or the dishes after dinner... then everyone can take a turn picking up after everyone... and it is still done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugsette Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 One is ok about things the other............well I won't even go there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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