conj Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Ok, so we see all sorts of charity gift trees - angels - whatever you call them, it usually boils down to the child - or family - giving a basic profile (age and gender) and then sometimes some wishes... We've made charitable work a year round thing in our house, and I am certainly sympathetic to little children having presents to open on Christmas morning... here's my problem with these trees... lately the stuff the kids are asking for are WAY expensive! $50 and up! specific video games, or cell phones... I can't bring myself to do that. I've resorted to ignoring these trees - except for my morbid fascination with reading the requests, and instead give some toys to toys for tots, and the Ronald McDonald House. Occasionally I'll give some mittens to the Governor's Mitten tree (he never has a mitten menorah - and that sounds better!). Do you buy for these types of charities? Do you look for the tags requesting stuff in your price range?
Gray04 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 We used to buy for these trees but then I heard of a family where one child got much more than the other. I flet bad so we have not done it since. Yes, I agree that the gifts children are asking for a bit on the high $$ range.
pogiporkchop Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 The trees we have here only have tags saying if it's a boy/girl and how old they are. Even on the info pages for adopt a family that I've seen the requests/wishes are reasonable. What makes for an interesting read is the Thanksgiving Wishes section of the paper... have to read them all carefully to see if what is being wished for if really needed.
Illinoismom Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Thats because you are dealing with children and as most children these are the things they want, They are no different then yours or mine. I try to look past the high price things and still get them something. It's sad that these children would need to ask stangers for things that they think they want and to try and have some of the things that other children they know have.
hopeky94 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 A couple years ago, my coworkers decided instead of exchanging gifts, they wanted to buy for needy kids/families. We were going to get names off an angel tree, but I mentioned that my church does food baskets for local families (I live and go to church about 30 miles from work). So I checked with the coordinator of the baskets, and he was thrilled with the idea of my office buying gifts for these children!:) He contacted the parents and got some more info for us (i.e. first names, sizes, etc.), including a 2-3 item wish list-- which was perfect because the parents knew what the children wanted and needed that would not clean out our bank accounts! Then I printed little "stockings" with each child's info on it and propped them up on limbs of our office tree. I kept an eye on the tree to make sure all names were taken (if they weren't I either asked around and found someone to take them and/or took an extra one myself), and I also set a deadline to bring the gifts in (wrapped and tagged), so I could get them to the church to be delivered with the baskets. FYI-- the names of these needy families came from the family resource center at a local elementary school. So an idea for individuals and other groups is to check with a nearby school, and see if they'll allow you to sponsor a family with only as many kids as you can afford to buy for. They may be able to get the sizes and stuff for you as well... We soo enjoy buying anonymously for these kids-- and I get the added joy of helping deliver some of them!
PeachieKeen Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 My company sponsors an organization every year with an angel tree, basically the organization distributes these angel trees to several different mid-sized companies in the area, and between all the companies we supply the gifts on the tree. We do see some higher priced items on our tree, like bikes, etc, and usually several people will go in on getting those bigger items for the kids. The sad thing is that these kids go through the ads the same as everyone else making out their christmas list. I can't imagine what it would feel like for them if someone told them to cross that off their list because it was too expensive. I wouldn't think of doing that to the children in my family, and although they may not get everything they want, at least our efforts to provide the angels on these trees with gifts are well worth the time, energy and money spent.
AndreaInNC Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 I tend to shy away from some of the "angel" trees that are in the mall. In the past I have adopted foster children for the holidays. We've often actually delivered the gifts to the foster parents and once actually met the child. My children found that especially hit home for them.
Illinoismom Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 I tend to shy away from some of the "angel" trees that are in the mall. In the past I have adopted foster children for the holidays. We've often actually delivered the gifts to the foster parents and once actually met the child. My children found that especially hit home for them. I have worked very close with two different orginazitions for Christmas, One is toys for tots, and the other is through the school nurse who does food baskets, for Thanksgiving and an adopted a family for Christmas. I find that most people when they give, they think they are giving a lot. And this happens alot with toys for tots, but what you will find is a lot of 1.00 store items, Now granted there is nothing wrong with buying from there, But for the same 5.00 they will spend there on one toy they could buy a child a toy that they will play with. Dealing with children and parents of low income I see this all the time. The saying has always been it's the thought that counts. But try telling that to a 3-7 year old who believes in Santa and all they want is specific items and Santa doesnt bring it. So I try to give these children things that they want and that they can be suprised with that Santa thought enough of them to honor what they wanted, When I buy for these families and when I sort through the toys for the needy I always ask myself is that what one of my children would want.
elena_398 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 My family and I adopt another family for christmas. We take care of everything from stockings, gifts for the whole family, and dinner. last year my daughter even picked out a present for the family's cat. lol. Its a great feeling to know that children still look forward to christmas even though their family's finances may have not been able to come through for them. We usually pick a family that has at least 2 children. I love shopping for them. BF means a lot to me too, to be able to afford to do this. So not only do I shop for my kids, but the family we "adopted"
conj Posted October 27, 2006 Author Posted October 27, 2006 .... The saying has always been it's the thought that counts. But try telling that to a 3-7 year old who believes in Santa and all they want is specific items and Santa doesnt bring it. So I try to give these children things that they want and that they can be suprised with that Santa thought enough of them to honor what they wanted, When I buy for these families and when I sort through the toys for the needy I always ask myself is that what one of my children would want.This is true... my kids would be thrilled with toys from the dollar store... I guess they are special that way.
eve Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 i rememer seeing those trees years ago but haven't in years. i have read many threads talking about adopting children or adopting foster children. How do some of you go about this?
PeachieKeen Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 i rememer seeing those trees years ago but haven't in years. i have read many threads talking about adopting children or adopting foster children. How do some of you go about this?You can always call local non-profits. In my area, the St. Vincent DePaul Society is a great organization for matching us up with those less fortunate. You can also try the local school system, or women's shelters they can all lead you in the right direction!
AndreaInNC Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 You can also call your local Dept of Child & Family services. They had an article in our local paper about a month before Christmas looking for sponsors. In the case of foster children, some of the foster parents can't afford to buy them gifts, as DCFS doesn't normally give them money to provide them Christmas gifts.
EmmyNavasMom Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I did this for two years until I started seeing all the higher priced items. We started when my daughter was born and decided we'd buy for a child her age every year but those first two years we saw many, many 1-2 yr old angels requested Power Wheels, Trampolines and even Playstations. These were not things that 1-2 year olds "want". Their parents did. I instead bought something age appropriate that the child would enjoy playing with.
Firemansgal311 Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I volunteered at the Salvation Army one year with ds1 (was 5) and dd(was 3)in tow and had a great time filling the orders when the parents/guardians arrived Ex: they gave us thier case #'s and we would walk through and look for thier #'s which were taped out in a grid across the floor. If thier daughter was "picked" and got a bike or a whole bunch of clothes and thier son wasn't then you would take them to some awaiting tables to let them pick out x number of gifts for the son. If the daughter only got one purchased gift the parent would also get to pick out I believe 6 other gifts from the table. (I am thinking that there was a 7 item per child thing going on) All of the donated toys (stuff on the tables) were really nice everything from new bikes to barbies and everything in between all brand new in boxes. The parent had to meet some kind of qualification for the bikes though. My kids helped out in the back filling gift bags(the giant christmas bags about 2'x3') with everything from wrapping paper to tape to books, crayons even birthday party supplies for the childrens birthday parties that year. I am with you on the not wanting to buy the real expensive stuff but if you want to buy just take the tag and read into it ex: if it is a 1yo girl asking for a swing set or something crazy I would get a couple cute outfits, a carebear a new pair of house slippers and some sippy cups.
Firemansgal311 Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 Another thing that we did was when dh worked at Penneys he would call me when they were having big sales and I would go buy a ton of t shirts pants and misplaced socks and clearanced toys and bag it all up and take it to the school. Because at our old school the kids would have a gift swap and if there happened to be an underprivledged kid in the class most likely the teachers with a little help from the school board would go buy a bigger nicer gift for that particular child and wrap it up and give it to them to take home to open. I liked going to school after christmas break and seeing those kids wearing thier new shirts and being so proud of thier new stuff. I would say hey I like your shirt they would say thank you I got it for christmas not knowing that we got it for them
comm402 Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 My family and I always pick from the Barnes and Noble "tree". One book for a boy and one book for a girl. I prefer Barnes and Noble to some of the other "charity" trees for the same reasons that others have posted here.
ms_mckenna Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 Well we do not do the Angel tree anymore. The one in our area set a bad taste in my mouth when I found out some people that I know who are on it , and should not be. We always pick a family and try to help them. It is always someone we know that would not get help otherwise. You have to remember most of these trees are set up at least in the first of November. So anyone who falls on hard times at a later date are not helped by them. We do it this way from personal experience of having a really bad November and December. I found out way to much about how the system works at that point. So needless to say I am very jaded about the whole thing. At least if I buy for a family I know, I know it isn't someone playing the system.
comm402 Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I feel the same way about one of our local angel trees and I'm not too keen on our local food bank either. There are people that do need the help but when your parked in the lot next to the food pantry and you see people with hummers and mercedes wearing fancy coats, talking on their cell phones coming out with food it really does jade you. I work for the PD and the guys there were the best source of info for who really needs help at the holidays and those are the people we try to give to.
abentley Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I need to find a new place because our local resource had a tree at a local bank. One of the employees daughters family was a family "in need". The day before the gifts were to be collected , sorted, and delivered, the employee let the the daughter into the bank to "select" her kids gifts. Umm, I haven't donated with that organization since.
noehlp Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I need to find a new place because our local resource had a tree at a local bank. One of the employees daughters family was a family "in need". The day before the gifts were to be collected , sorted, and delivered, the employee let the the daughter into the bank to "select" her kids gifts. Umm, I haven't donated with that organization since.Wow! That is too bad that they did that.
noehlp Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 Last Christmas I did not have any extra money really. But I managed to scrape together enough to buy 7 gifts that were inexpensive. Each of my children got to pick & buy two toys for this, and I got 1 of them. Then we took them to an organization similar to Boys & Girls Club that was having a Christmas party. The head man asked for name so they could thank me and I told him 'No Need. And my name is Mrs. Claus'. I then left. This year there is no extra money, but I have thought about having my kids make some homemade crafts and then we could take them to a nursing home. As I am sure there are many older folks that receive nothing.
laffnatu Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I can understand why some people feel the way they do about these trees. There is usually at least 1 who will take advantage of something like this. They have a differant story each day in the paper when it gets closer to Christmas. It's usually a hard luck story and they need help with Christmas or something in their house. An x-friend of mine tried to take advantage one year. I was talking to a coworker and she was going to help that person she had seen in the paper. When she showed me the story, I was floored. I knew exactly who the person was asking for help. I told her that if it was me, I wouldn't do it. This person was on welfare, food stamps, too lazy to work and wanted to sit back and reap the benefits of her laziness. She would take her kids' Christmas gifts or birthday gifts back to the stores and pocket the money. Anytime I bought her kids something, I always took off the tags. It finally got to the point where I wouldn't buy them anything because I knew what would happen. I think the charity trees are a great thing. I'm sure they help lots and lots of people... but there's always going to be one looking to take advantage. Sad but true.
siageah Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 I've done the trees before and I always pick the ones within my budget. Some years I've had a higher budget than others, so I choose accordingly. Then yes, sometimes you have to make a judgement call. I've often picked the elementary/middle school aged kids who want expensive gifts over the 16 year old kids who do figuring they are a little older and can understand more. But giving is *very* personal and you have to do what you are comfortable with and what you can afford.
daz Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 I usually buy something for them. I do have a problem with the ones that are asking for xbox 360 games specifically. If the story says mom and dad are barely putting food on the table and paying the bills, hey, maybe it's time to sell the $400 video game system and take care of your family!
pastasalad Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 We have done the "Angel Tree" usually at wal mart we(the whole family agrees on a child) try to pick a child around the same age as our own and usually (at least here) they are asking for socks,gloves,hats etc basic warm necisities and we then let our children pick out gifts to go with what they asked for(we have 3 children-and they really enjoy shopping for others)...for us we feel like we are teaching our children a valuable life lesson-so we make it a family affair...hoping we can make a difference in just ONE life.... Happy Holidays
glitterstarr Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 I feel the same way about one of our local angel trees and I'm not too keen on our local food bank either. There are people that do need the help but when your parked in the lot next to the food pantry and you see people with hummers and mercedes wearing fancy coats, talking on their cell phones coming out with food it really does jade you. I work for the PD and the guys there were the best source of info for who really needs help at the holidays and those are the people we try to give to.This is the very reason I don't do the trees and food banks neither. And they show it on TV every year with them pulling up in fancy cars and the other things they have but yet can't and won't purchase their kids a few gifts for Christmas. Sorry but before I pulled up in a fancy vehicle wearing designer clothes and fancy jewelry I would SELL everything I owned to make sure my kids had a Christmas. I also refuse to buy for those who can purchase alcohol and drugs but refuse to purchase anything for their kids. I saw this first hand when a woman came into a store bought 3 cases of beer but then bitched because she had no money to buy anything for her kids for Christmas. I'm like well you just bought 3 cases of beer that money would have been a good start to purchase them something. She got mad at me but oh well it was the truth. I've never understood people like this who refuse to put their children first in their life and make sure that their children have some little something under the tree. I am always on the lookout thru out the year for family's that really are down on their luck and can really use the help during Christmas and are grateful for an outfit or small toy for their kid for Christmas. Doesn't matter if it cost 50 cents they are still extremely grateful and thankful for that one little gift. And more than anything they are more thankful for just a Christmas meal which I have supplied right along with the small gifts purchased for all of them.
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