Guest outrbanx Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 We are only a few days from my absolute favorite day! Even as a male, I look forward to this every year. Since there appears to be a lot of first timers joining the Black Friday fray this year. I thought that it would be a good idea to share some tips that I have learned in the five years I have been shopping on this day. To the other "more experienced" posters, please feel free to add to this list anything I may have forgotten. 1) Wear tight clothes. A loose shirt, jacket or scarf can be used to hold you back and slow you down. 2) If you are meek and timid, consider staying at home. BFer's can smell fear. 3) Unless you are immune to pneumonia, wear clothes in layers. It may seem like a good thing to dress really warm when you're standing outside in sub -freezing weather, but once the doors open, you'll be sweating profusely before you can reach the rear of the store. 4) If you want to socialize with the other people in line, don't get too personal. Just remember that in minutes, those same people would just as soon trip you and step on your neck than allow you to have the very last set of Dora the Explorer bed sheets. 5) Don't share your breakfast food with others in line. It will only give them more energy to use against you once in the store. If you must share, make it leftover turkey. The tryptophan it contains will cause sleepiness, making them slow to react. 6) Shop with a friend. That way one of you can run blocker just like in Smokey and the Bandit. 7) Never pick up a sale item and look at the box to decide whether you want it or not. Toss it in the cart! You'll have plenty of time to read, research and decide while standing in line at the checkout. Besides, you can always return it later. Seize the opportunity. Timing is crucial! 8) Unless you absolutely need one, don't take a shopping cart into the store. It will only slow you down. 9) There will be both parents and children out shopping on BF. During your adventure, youll hear crying, weeping and whining. "I have to have that!" "Give it back!" "I had it first!" And then there's the children... 10) Before the big day, as you are staking out the stores and making some advanced purchases, save the security tags. There is always one lady on BF who brags about how she has to buy 36 of the one item you went there for to give to all of her nieces and nephews. Covertly place one or more of these tags on her as the crowds head into the store. the barrage of security when she sets off the alarm at the entrance will slow her and allow you to get to the item first before she takes them all. 11) Carry a bat. Preferably aluminum, since it is lighter. There are always lurkers who sit in their nice warm cars while everyone else is freezing in line. They will try to blend into the crowd when the doors open. The mere presence of such a device will deter them. The bat is also handy to get stock from high shelves, and to lean on while waiting in line at the checkout. 12) Agility can make up for a poor spot in line. 13) Bringing along your spouse and kids will only slow you down. 14) Riot gear, while heavy, bulky and a fashion no-no for most people can be handy if you plan to patronize the likes of Circuit City, Best Buy or Toys 'R' Us on Black Friday. 15) If you're a man, consider wearing a cup. The advantage can far outweigh the disadvantage. 16) Seeing-eye and assistant pets still can't resist bacon. 17) Sending up a distress flare at just the right moment can allow you to gain position in line. 18) Be sure not to wear clothes you don't want snagged or ripped. 19) Defense. Defense. Defense. 20) Above all, enjoy yourself. Its just like fishing. Its not what you are able to catch. Its the thrill of the chase! * Disclaimer - I am not responsible for the use of these ideas by others. Bail is the sole responsibility of the guilty parties. Happy holidays everyone! By the way - Many thanks to those responsible for creating this website and forum. :) Rey
Jenniepenny Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Thanks for the morning giggle! Even though I know they are all completely true!!!!!!!
Guest Luckycharm Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 OMG Just spit coffee on my keyboard! Thanks for the Laugh!
starshine Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 LOL all very true! THanks for the laugh. I have another one. If you are at TRU this year grab a employee and handcuff them to you. They know where everything is hidden and will lead you to what you want. Just like a police K-9. Don't forget a little dog treat for them either!
peachysquirt21 Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 LMAO at this one. 10) Before the big day, as you are staking out the stores and making some advanced purchases, save the security tags. There is always one lady on BF who brags about how she has to buy 36 of the one item you went there for to give to all of her nieces and nephews. Covertly place one or more of these tags on her as the crowds head into the store. the barrage of security when she sets off the alarm at the entrance will slow her and allow you to get to the item first before she takes them all. I would love to do this to a whole bunch who are in Walmart.
motoXmom Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 2) If you are meek and timid, consider staying at home. BFer's can smell fear. Oh Dear God I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!! That is SOOOO My Hubby! That is why I leave him at home! He is always like .. i"m sorry, Oh excuse me, Oh no you go ahead...etc. Then there is me Ok once in awhile I will be sorry, get out of my way and I was here BEFORE you...etc
Conscript Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 There will be both parents and children out shopping on BF. During your adventure, youll hear crying, weeping and whining. "I have to have that!" "Give it back!" "I had it first!" And then there's the children... LOL! I almost spilled my Pepsi when I read that.
RossMAN Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 2) If you are meek and timid, consider staying at home. BFer's can smell fear. Oh Dear God I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!! That is SOOOO My Hubby! That is why I leave him at home! He is always like .. i"m sorry, Oh excuse me, Oh no you go ahead...etc. Then there is me Ok once in awhile I will be sorry, get out of my way and I was here BEFORE you...etcThat had me rolling also pidhead - Thanks for the bump :)
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