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Christmas Funk, How Do You Get Out Of It?

revecca

By revecca
in 2013

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revecca

revecca

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For all those that have ever gotten into a Christmas funk, how did you get yourselves out of it? My family is getting worse each year, and I've gotten to the point of not wanting to do anything. lol! I just want to go out into the middle of the street and scream out "Why don't all of you go out of your way to make this Christmas special for me". I know, I know it's not about me, or the presents. You do things for everyone from the kindness of your heart, and you want to make others happy because it makes you feel good. It's hard to do because everyone around me expects me to do things, and if it wasn't for this website/deals they wouldn't have what they have. Sorry for blowing off some steam.  :wife:

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tyreejames

tyreejames

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Any time I don't feel appreciated, I simply stop doing those things. Sometimes, our loved ones need a reminder of the things that they take for granted. Start doling out assignments to family members; someone can decorate, one can be in charge of baked goods, etc. The holidays are about family and other loved ones so it should be a joint effort.

 

I also find that I need to make time for myself no matter how bogged down I am; that can be as simple as holing up in the living room and reading or just going to Starbucks getting a drink and people watching. Also, do not be afraid to say exactly how you feel. I know with my DH he often doesn't realize how much I dislike particular things because I always do them. Me simply saying I don't want to do this all the time, why don't you take it over goes a long way. Ditto for my children and the things they can help out with.

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bluebear

bluebear

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I usually do all the decorating.  And we have way too much much stuff, and no one helps (or they get in my way and do it wrong).  Last year I told my family I wasn't doing any decorating.  They protested a little, and so I had them tell me what their favorite decoration was.  So I made them help with that part, and then I picked my favorite stuff.  Made me feel a little better about doing it.

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revecca

revecca

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We lost everything that is why we had to move. Last year, there was no tree or decorations. My present was the Ipad that I won from this wonderful website (I haven't bought myself anything in the 15 yrs of being married. Not that I mind, but my lo's come first). My 3 eldest each got a Kindle Fire HD (found it at a great price on here), and the youngest an Leappad (similar to the Kindle, Kwim? Again, a great deal found on here). That was it. They didn't get birthday presents so that money went into their gifts as well. Don't know what I'm going to do this year? I'll look around and see others suggestions, I guess. 

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Princess7915

Princess7915

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I really wish I knew - I came decided to read the thread for inspiration more than to offer advice. My DH is not a Christmas person and never has been.  Rough childhood and I suppose that when you grow up never really feeling that Christmas can be "magical" it's hard to get that way when you are older (and have to work and pay for it).  

 

The past few years we have had kittens  - new member added to the family about every year - and with four cats it's WAY too much trouble to decorate and we have decided not to have a tree.  It makes it a little harder to get into the spirit - but I do appreciate not cleaning up the mess :)

 

Last year and this year I have really wanted nothing more than to hop a plane and be on a beach somewhere with just me and the hubbs (we have no kids) and no family around for the holidays.  Yes Nov 27 - Jan 2 would suit me just fine!!!  It seems more and more like it's about put up with this and that person for a family dinner and buy this and that for these people more than any real sense of enjoyment or fun.

 

 I don't know how you get holiday magic back when it seems to have gone.  "Where are you Christmas - Why can't I find you."

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Libra Angel

Libra Angel

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Well, my family has never been the festive type. This isn't to say that when things get rolling that they don't enjoy the fruits of my labor, but they themselves do not initiate anything. This kind of attitude is something that has always been, even as a kid. If there were lights or decorations that needed to be put up, it was I who did it. I do not have any kids, but I find it annoying that I cannot call my parents or siblings and 'talk' about the holidays without things going sour before the conversation is over.

 

In any event, I must say that as time has gone by, I have learned to accept my family for who they are. My tips on how to get out of a Christmas funk when dealing with those who aren't festive, behave like ingrates or if even you aren't in the mood are:

 

Invoke some Christmas flare into your life. This can be done by buying/lighting a scented Christmas-y candle, buying some candy canes or even hanging up a string of lights. There is no right or wrong time to get into the spirit of the holiday season and having small reminders around can keep you focused on what's ahead or at the least (hopefully) put a smile on your face.

 

Put on some Christmas music. I personally can listen to Mariah Carey's (1st) Christmas LP in April, but to get into a festive mood as it gets colder out, I'll play this song:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

 

I also think that watching Youtube video's about what others have gotten in past years can not only be enjoyable but can offer good ideas.

 

I hope this helps. :)

 

 

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ClosedAcct

ClosedAcct

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I get in a funk every year around the Holidays..............and [sarcasm]Luckily For Me/[sarcasm] it came early this year! I don't feel like doing anything!

 

 

^^^^ THIS!!!!

 

Mine came early too and the older I get, the harder it seems to hit.  The holidays are the pits and I always feel lost in the shuffle and to make matters worse, my birthday is Christmas Eve and so it's just an even more sad time of the year because I can't demand the special birthday attention everyone else gets because it's Christmas.  I usually get out of a funk when I watch "It's a Wonderful Life" at Retro Cinema night but we aren't there yet.  I think this year I might just fully give into my "I couldn't care less" attitude just once and see if a total discharge/reset can make it better next year instead of just trying to hold on and get through it.

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Deal Grabber

Deal Grabber

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I think we all get to that point sometimes.i notice my funk gets worse eevry year.My kids are 14 & 17 now and they dont believe anymore.That was the hardest part for me.I know Christmas isnt about the presents but to  see the looks on their faces Chrsitmas morning was enough to cure any blues i had.Yes i do the decorating myself mostly cause DS is to old to wanna help, DD does it all wrg DH is just lazy.I never buy myself anything so my family can have it all.I feel very under appreciated.Ive tried the "not doing it anymore" approach and that made me feel worse.Ive been crying at the drop of a hat this week.lol and have no clue.We too have money issues and i always stress how im goin to make it happen but somehow i do.Guess i should just be thankful i have a warm home food to eat and presents under the tree , as i know alot that dont.Great now im crying again.lol.I just guess Christmas is such a sentimental holiday.

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allshoppedout

allshoppedout

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my Mom passed away this Spring and needless to say Christmas won't be the same, she was sick last Christmas with what we thought was pneumonia, and didn't come, but ended up having a stroke a few days after, and the Christmas before she fell and did come but we were all upset about it.

 

She in my opinion was Christmas and made everything special for me as a child, my Dad didn't do much of anything in the way of holiday spirit. She loved decorations and everything about Christmas except wrapping, LOL.  I got married and was so sad to learn after 1 or 2 Christmas with him, that my husband is not into holidays at all--they (his immediate family) only put the tree up a few days before, everything last minute (which I later found out is how MIL did everything) and the train was the "big deal" tradition: let me just say it was a very sad looking train/platform, I mean I figured if the TRAIN was the Bomb, then it would be fabulous-NOT the case. Anyway she apparently passed on the lack of enthusiasm and I hate it.  Now this year when I could use some "magic" after being the chief decorator, present buyer, wrapper, for nearly 2 decades, I cannot count on my spouse to support me at all--and can no longer talk to my mom and be excited about the holidays .

 

My sibling has just become a grandmother and so she is very much into that, rather than Christmas which I understand.However need I say she has a husband who hates holidays as well (thanks to his nasty mother) and so he's a real drag too.

 

If I knew THEN what I know now, I'd have asked my future husband "do you love Christmas?" rather than do you have a job, or a degree, or a condom, LOL.

 

Im probably making you all more depressed, so sorry. I just don't want my lack of spirit or my sadness to be visible to MY kids.

Edited by allshoppedout
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allshoppedout

allshoppedout

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I think we all get to that point sometimes.i notice my funk gets worse eevry year.My kids are 14 & 17 now and they dont believe anymore.That was the hardest part for me.I know Christmas isnt about the presents but to  see the looks on their faces Chrsitmas morning was enough to cure any blues i had.Yes i do the decorating myself mostly cause DS is to old to wanna help, DD does it all wrg DH is just lazy.I never buy myself anything so my family can have it all.I feel very under appreciated.Ive tried the "not doing it anymore" approach and that made me feel worse.Ive been crying at the drop of a hat this week.lol and have no clue.We too have money issues and i always stress how im goin to make it happen but somehow i do.Guess i should just be thankful i have a warm home food to eat and presents under the tree , as i know alot that dont.Great now im crying again.lol.I just guess Christmas is such a sentimental holiday.

I too have been sad/crying all week. I understand how you feel. I feel unappreciated most years and either don't get much or if I do, I buy it for myself. I think Christmas is the only bright part of a looong winter and if I am now sad at Christmas then how will I get thru 5 months of cold...

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speeddiva

speeddiva

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I'm with you all. My husband calls me "Grinch" but I just can't get into the holidays now that the kids are grown. This will be the 1st year that DD won't be home, her new job won't allow her enough time off and I can't afford to send her a plane ticket (She lives 1100 miles away). My In-laws are a nightmare, their family motto seems to be "It's not Christmas until somebody cries", I actually did a little dance when MIL cancelled Thanksgiving.

 

At least the house gets decorated as I am married to Clark Griswold LOL. DH puts up 9 trees. :o

 

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mgmckny

mgmckny

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Well at least now I feel I'm in good company.  I'm really trying hard since I'm the main Christmas person ever since my Dad died (16 years ago) and now with my mom gone too and my husbands health it's so hard..... A few sparks have tried to take hold but not lasting yet..... Going to find an ipod cord, mine is evidently at work and get my CHristmas playlist onto my nano and see if that helps...   

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wittenlover

wittenlover

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I honestly end up in a funk every year because I'm in my church choir and we have to start practicing our Christmas cantata in early to mid OCTOBER. I love Christmas music, but not *that* early! lol

 

I don't really get my spirit back till about the beginning of December. Already seems different this year, though, as I'm finally in on the SS exchange here (I keep missing the dang deadline every year! Ha!) and I am getting excited about all the different ideas I have for my SS. Can't wait to get everything bought and put together for them!

 

Round about the beginning of December, I dig up my MercyMe Christmas Sessions CD and it lives in the CD player in my car for the whole month and into January. If you haven't heard it and you like Christmas music, I encourage you to check it out. It is, by far, my favorite.

 

Also, my mom was Christmas to me, too. She's been gone since mid '06 and it hasn't been the same without her. Brother lives across the country, dad's a few hours' drive away (in good weather) and at home, it's just me and my pair of kitties. Still hopeful of looking forward to the day I will share my home with a special somebody and, hopefully, bring more of the Christmas magic back. :)

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allshoppedout

allshoppedout

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wow there is a whole egg carton of us bummed out gottadealers.... :no:  sad. I heard first Christmas song on the radio yesterday, Little St. Nick, Beach Boys...and today I made a deal with husband, he can go fishing if he does the outside decorations all himself. (I may have to secretly straighten them out on Monday when he is at work) He is seriously considering...I'm crossing my antlers :holiday01:  If he does those decorations that'll lift some weight off my shoulders. Thanks everyone for kind words

Edited by allshoppedout
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abentley

abentley

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Family deaths and growing kids are making an impact on me as well. I am lucky enough to be crazy busy in life with a lot of great things, and work in a school. That place makes me so very happy! I know Christmas will be bittersweet for me as my family has forever been changed with2 people gone this year.  I am not looking forward to that feeling, as it brings tears to my eyes even typing this.  One loss in particular will be the hardest, as I think she was my Santa and Christmas spirit and joy for my entire life. 

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jade2002

jade2002

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Same here. The holidays are very stressful as well as a bit sad around here anymore. I did put up our Christmas tree last weekend or maybe it was the weekend before with no help from the family. Dh was hunting but at least he did send me a text asking if I had the tree up yet. Ds was at work and wouldn't you know, I get a text from him as well telling me to make sure and put the tree up. Dd was in her bedroom on her laptop while I was doing it. My brother came over and told me I had my tree up way to early.

 

I've listened to Christmas music quite a bit on the music choice channels. I've been told by the family it's too early for Christmas music. I've tried to get dd to make her Christmas list but she says not yet. Outside from my immediate family here at home, the rest of the family is totally messed up besides my 2 brothers. So it will probably only be us, the brother's and their wives and my son's gf for the holidays. Oh, I get no help with the holiday cooking either which is probably a good thing though.

 

Black Friday...ugh, that's another thing. I usually look forward to this every year but not this year. The new early start times has ruined it for me. I probably won't even go out and just try and score some things online. I've already gotten a few things at extremely cheap prices thanks to this website. My kid's aren't asking for any of the big ticket items this year anyways.

 

So yeah, I'm about ready for the new year to get here.

Edited by jade2002
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revecca

revecca

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Thank you all for taking the time and sharing your stories. I thought this might bring some smiles to some faces. I hope I said that correctly, lol! 

 

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/76/75/1d/76751d1d8bb2ced4ab4c66ef1791ae4b.jpg

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shopping4my3son

shopping4my3son

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The last couple years the holidays haven't been the same for me. Last year was harder because I lost my grandma earlier in the year. A few years before that we lost my grandpa.

 

Last year I just faked it. I had a list of things to do and just did it. No excitement or fun in it at all.

 

This year we are buying a house so the only decorating will probably be the tree. It's a nice distraction. Overwhelming planning a move in winter around holidays though.

 

The only Black Friday shopping I plan on doing is online. My husband has a crazy schedule so I can't plan on him being home to watch the kids. I don't like the early opening times either

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magickallight

magickallight

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Not much help... but this year i just want to say Bah-humbug to the whole darn thing - even Thanksgiving... So much drama going on within the family and yet somehow i have to cook, clean, decorate, wrap, buy for, entertain and forgot about what has transpired throughout the year...  last year son will still be living at home (perhaps) as he is graduation high school in Dec/Jan... and my mom lives alone and we are all she has - so i know for their sakes i MUST live up to my obligations... but I just don't have it in me... just want o curl up somewhere and sleep it all away. I have always been a holiday person... but not this year. :(

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smorebore

smorebore

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I think we all get to that point sometimes.i notice my funk gets worse eevry year.My kids are 14 & 17 now and they dont believe anymore.That was the hardest part for me.I know Christmas isnt about the presents but to  see the looks on their faces Chrsitmas morning was enough to cure any blues i had.Yes i do the decorating myself mostly cause DS is to old to wanna help, DD does it all wrg DH is just lazy.I never buy myself anything so my family can have it all.I feel very under appreciated.Ive tried the "not doing it anymore" approach and that made me feel worse.Ive been crying at the drop of a hat this week.lol and have no clue.We too have money issues and i always stress how im goin to make it happen but somehow i do.Guess i should just be thankful i have a warm home food to eat and presents under the tree , as i know alot that dont.Great now im crying again.lol.I just guess Christmas is such a sentimental holiday.

I could have written this!!!!!!!!!!  Crying all week.  I really miss my kids being little...

 

My husband and I have decided to get an Elf on the Shelf and start a new tradition.  But we are going to do it "our style".  More in the thoughts that would be for teens....and if they don't like it, WE will have fun!

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mgmckny

mgmckny

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Thank you all for taking the time and sharing your stories. I thought this might bring some smiles to some faces. I hope I said that correctly, lol! 

 

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/76/75/1d/76751d1d8bb2ced4ab4c66ef1791ae4b.jpg

Stealing this to share with some friends.... I needed this!

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stevierocks

stevierocks

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I dont know what to say... i get in the funk wen Christmas is OVER.!!!!

i love this time of the year...and i have not yet had the negative things that seem to bring it down...and for that im grateful.

when kids get to old ,i still play it off ...granted they KNOW ,but they play along...

i enjoy the Christmas movies,the music(no other music is played in the vehicle till after Christmas),

the decorating and seeing others decorations..( i have never decorated myself... i get others involved..one of the enjoyed things is letting someone bring in the mail and watching them hang the Christmas cards on the wall.  if there is no decorated tree up...santa dont come...)

i even enjoy the wrapping. and feeling of accomplishment as i write down what i wrapped on the lists of for who..

i enjoy driving around looking at lights/displays others put out..

all i could say is try to enjoy the time. again i can say that ,but if i had a death close to me i am not sure howi would cope at christmas... and my thoughts go out to those of you who have to deal with that!

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magickallight

magickallight

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Normally I love this time of year...not this year. ..my tree isnt us yet!!! I always have one if not two trees up before December 1st the late Thanksgiving didn't help either

 

The ONLY decoration I have up is my Wreath on the front door... at least the UPS guy, FedEx guy and mailman won't think I am scrooge. ;)

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misstaken

misstaken

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We have no decorations either. I've barely shopped at all. I have so much going on with the health issues I'm facing, I just can't do it this year. I have no energy and no money. So much time off of work for doctor appointments and the fact that now I will be out of work for a substantial amount of time for treatment isn't making this season look very bright. I am so sad about everything and overwhelmed with this holiday. My kids don't know about all of the health stuff yet either so I'm even more upset about not giving them a decent Christmas before they find out about it. As my ds12 would say, this Christmas is going to be a fail. It does make me feel a little better to finally admit all of this stuff though, honestly.

Edited by misstaken
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