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Christmas Fights


timbermommy

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We used to when we were first married. We have it sorted out now. My family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my side's B-days, Easter, Christmas Eve, and most birthdays. We switch for the 4th of July and stay at home for Halloween and New Year's Eve. Too many nuts out on those days to go anywhere.
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Luckily, all my in-laws live about 1000 miles away from us..but what we do have arguments over is who to buy gifts for. We decided in my dh's family since it is large to only buy gifts for the kids a few years ago as the family is getting larger and larger. As my family is very small and its just my parents and my grandmother, we buy gifts for my parents and my grandmother, but not dh's parents and grandmother. So, every year, dh gets mad that we buy for my parents/grandmother and not his, but he doesnt understand that I have 3 people to buy for outside of him and my daughter, he has 5 kids to start with, on his side of the family to buy for so if we add in another 3 gifts for parents and grandmother, its just too much spending. He does get the point after a while, but dh just always wants to buy for everyone at Christmas even though he knows we cant afford to.
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When my dad was alive, he made life incredibly easy. Begining on Christmas Eve and all through Christmas day, he and step-mom had easy to prepare, eat-as-you-wish-type food ready. When we came, we came. No "must be here at this time" and "need to have the whole family together" drama. The tree was, up, the music was on, the gifts were waiting. Just show up on your own schedule.

 

And we needed it, since my parents were divorced and my mother lived alone, we had THREE sets of parents to visit. And my in-laws were anal about having the whole fam-damily together in peace and harmony at EXACTLY the time they wanted us to. Usually that was right in the middle of the day, leaving no time on either end for comfortably visiting others.

 

Fortunately, my mother was just as relaxed about it as my father was, so we just squeezed them in around the monster-in-law's command performances. It never caused fighting between DH and myself, since it drove him as crazy as it drove me.

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