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Holday Advice

bfaddict1977

By bfaddict1977
in 2011

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bfaddict1977

bfaddict1977

Posted
Posted
I need advice and I refuse to put what it is in the subject line because my dd went snooping on one of my bb's and some loud mouth mom wrote how santa doesn't exist and she wishes her dd would figure it out. My dd found out and now I don't know how to tell her or what to tell her? She's 8 and she was on the cusp of believing and not believing. I am so bummed and angry at this parent for outing that. I told her Santa DOES exist to those who believe but that not everyone believes. She refuses to buy that now. I hope no one snoops here? I put a block so dd can't see but what do I do?
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BFQueenofNY

BFQueenofNY

Posted
Posted
Well I would ask her what she thinks and what she's been hearing from her friends at school. You don't want her to be in a position where they start to tease her and let that determine her opinion of it all going forward. Maybe take her to lunch, ask some questions and let her know how you feel about Christmas and what it means to you. Turn it into a positive bonding experience instead of a childhood memory killer in your mind and in hers. Then it won't seem so sad. Make a new tradition that is more grown-up for you and her to do to replace Santa that you can then keep. Don't be angry though.
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siczlo

siczlo

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I think you should tell her the truth. I have 3 kids. My oldest believed until about 8. My second one until about 7. My youngest is 5 and is already skepticle. :gdparanoid:

 

If one of my kids asked me straight out, I had to tell them the truth. I want them to know that I will always tell them the truth. But use the opportunity to spread a little Santa cheer to someone else, like playing secret santa to a neighbor. Your daughter will find pleasure in playing a secret santa to somone else. Just let her know she is being trusted with the biggest Christmas secret....

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kak

kak

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I agree!!! :yup:

kids haft to grow up to fast now a days!!!! I would never tell my child the "truth" until they ask....and they would haft to be at the appropriate age (so they wouldn't be crushed..poor thing) age 8 is still a baby!! :)

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Illinoismom

Illinoismom

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But what is the truth, There really was a St. Nick who in fact help give children presents, Christmas has several meanings and one is it is the only time of the year where children believe in magic, In this house and my children are 24,21,14, 12 there is still a Santa, we still put out the magic key for the front door, sprinkle the magic dust, leave out cookies and eggnog, our Santa doesn't like milk, and if it makes mom ( me ) happy they still sit on Santa's lap for a picture. This is a cruel world why make it more cold then it is, 8 is still a baby.

 

PS I know my 12 year old is beyond the red suit, but he would never tell me

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HansieDZ

HansieDZ

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I need advice and I refuse to put what it is in the subject line because my dd went snooping on one of my bb's and some loud mouth mom wrote how santa doesn't exist and she wishes her dd would figure it out. My dd found out and now I don't know how to tell her or what to tell her? She's 8 and she was on the cusp of believing and not believing. I am so bummed and angry at this parent for outing that. I told her Santa DOES exist to those who believe but that not everyone believes. She refuses to buy that now. I hope no one snoops here? I put a block so dd can't see but what do I do?

I don't think 8 is too young to not believe!

I have a 12 y.o. that I am going to have to break the news to this year,but I did to his brother when he was 13 because I didn't want him to be embarrassed in front of his friends.

I think growing into the truth is much better than having your dreams and ideas squelched by someone and it's usually someone who isn't as well-meaning as a parent.

Kids have so few precious years of innocence as it is IMO.

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Rockfordmom

Rockfordmom

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I don't think 8 is too young to not believe!

I have a 12 y.o. that I am going to have to break the news to this year,but I did to his brother when he was 13 because I didn't want him to be embarrassed in front of his friends.

I think growing into the truth is much better than having your dreams and ideas squelched by someone and it's usually someone who isn't as well-meaning as a parent.

Kids have so few precious years of innocence as it is IMO.

Why would you come out and tell your kids if they weren't asking? And why would they be embarrassed? My answer is and will always be - if you don't believe in Santa you don't get gifts from him.

 

I think my 12 yr old son knows, but I'm not going to bring it up to him unless he brings it up. 8 is not too old to believe in Santa!

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peppysfireball

peppysfireball

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My kids are 26,22 and 14. MY experience is that in kindergarden there are too many kids from poor homes that tell everyone there is no Santa. I don't think any of my kids believed past then. THey may have pretended, but they were questioning it. I can't believe a 12 year old anywhere would still believe. Too many bullys in the schools broadcast it.
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ISU ME

ISU ME

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Posted (edited)

I would never tell my kids that he wasn't real unless they figured it out themselves and asked. I guess I just expect them to figure it out long before 8. Do you all remember believing in Santa? I don't, my mom says I figured it out by myself and came and asked her when I was 4. Maybe that's why I have a different opinion, I never remember believing or finding out that he was not real. But no matter when or how they find out I'm not going to try to convince my kids that they are crazy and he is actually real!

My son is 3 and I expect him to figure it out in the next couple years no matter how much I play along with the magic. He is too smart for his own good.

Edited by ISU ME
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IDmom262

IDmom262

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Posted

My DS8 still believes in santa, and I don't see any reason to tell him otherwise. We also believe in Leprechauns and fairies at our house. Every St. Patrick's day we make a trap to catch the leprechaun and he ALWAYS outsmarts us. He also creates mischief around the house. He has turned our milk, oatmeal, and eggs green. He has moved our furniture and leaves "leprechaun" dust all over the house. My ds11 has never been teased or bullied over santa, leprechauns or anything else we celebrate at our house.

 

If my ds8 were to ask me detailed questions, I certainly will tell him the truth, but I am not going to go out of my way to tell him. I have always told him some people believe and some don't.

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Illinoismom

Illinoismom

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My kids are 26,22 and 14. MY experience is that in kindergarden there are too many kids from poor homes that tell everyone there is no Santa. I don't think any of my kids believed past then. THey may have pretended, but they were questioning it. I can't believe a 12 year old anywhere would still believe. Too many bullys in the schools broadcast it.

You would be suprised what you wouldn't know, I guess I am lucky that my kids all believe in Santa magic, Heck I call them or wake them up every year with a silly birthday song I made up when my 24 year old was having her first birthday, If I don't sing to them this silly song they would thing the magic of their day was gone. I am pretty sure they don't tell kids my mom sings to me

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jendeere

jendeere

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I was 10 when I found out. My dad asked me to help him haul out some "trash" to our camper. I was wondering why we weren't taking it to the trashcan instead, but whatever. We were taking out several big black garbage bags and one of them I was carrying wasn't tied all the way. I looked down and saw a wrapped present and the label said "To Kimmy, From Santa" I was pretty pissed lol. I was always really good about helping keep the spirit alive for the younger ones though.
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Rockfordmom

Rockfordmom

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I would never tell my kids that he wasn't real unless they figured it out themselves and asked. I guess I just expect them to figure it out long before 8. Do you all remember believing in Santa? I don't, my mom says I figured it out by myself and came and asked her when I was 4. Maybe that's why I have a different opinion, I never remember believing or finding out that he was not real. But no matter when or how they find out I'm not going to try to convince my kids that they are crazy and he is actually real!

My son is 3 and I expect him to figure it out in the next couple years no matter how much I play along with the magic. He is too smart for his own good.

I remember believing in Santa! Answering my kids questions (like how does Santa go to every house in one night? magic dust of course) doesn't mean I'm convincing my kids that they are crazy, it means that I'm trying to keep them innocent as long as I can and keep a family tradition going.

 

I don't necessarily think that just because they ask questions about it that means that they don't believe. They ask questions about lots of things like how does a refrigerator keep food cold, that doesn't mean they don't believe in refrigerators, it just means they are trying to figure it out.

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tokanm

tokanm

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I always say "if you don't believe then don't bother to hang up your stocking" 24 and 22 still will ask where their stockings are so they can put them up. Not that they would ever admit it, they are way too cool for that stuff:rolleyes:

 

I still remember DS telling his bf when he was 9ish "I know there is a Santa, my Mom could not afford all this stuff".

Little did he know my bargain/deal shopping ways (even before GD,lol) and my good ol' Christmas club account :g_laughin

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ISU ME

ISU ME

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I remember believing in Santa! Answering my kids questions (like how does Santa go to every house in one night? magic dust of course) doesn't mean I'm convincing my kids that they are crazy, it means that I'm trying to keep them innocent as long as I can and keep a family tradition going.

 

I don't necessarily think that just because they ask questions about it that means that they don't believe. They ask questions about lots of things like how does a refrigerator keep food cold, that doesn't mean they don't believe in refrigerators, it just means they are trying to figure it out.

Obviously those questions don't mean they don't believe. My mom says I asked her flat out at 4 if there was no such thing as Santa and if she and dad were really Santa. And I was the oldest child and didn't go to daycare, so it wasn't that other kids ruined it for me. I just figured it out. So its shocking to me that kids would believe and be so old! My husband tells me I'm in the minority with this though...so just my opinion!

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raven20_79

raven20_79

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My mom never had that talk with me. I guess I just figured it out, but I have no idea how old I was when that happened. I remember being around the age of 5 and thinking that maybe Santa wasn't real because he never answered the letter I "sent" him. A couple of days later, I received a hand written letter from Santa with an envelope that had a hand drawing of him and his reindeer on it. From then on, I never questioned it. I knew he was real. And to this day, I still get present from Santa at my mom's house.

 

My children are 7 and 4 and still believe in Santa. I work at a dry cleaners, and we actually have a Santa suit here that I have shown my boys. So, they know that I personally know Santa. They haven't questioned if he is real or not. And I hope they never do. I hope they have the same realization that I did, and continued to believe even when they have their own children.

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tinkrbel

tinkrbel

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Posted

But what is the truth, There really was a St. Nick who in fact help give children presents, Christmas has several meanings and one is it is the only time of the year where children believe in magic, In this house and my children are 24,21,14, 12 there is still a Santa, we still put out the magic key for the front door, sprinkle the magic dust, leave out cookies and eggnog, our Santa doesn't like milk, and if it makes mom ( me ) happy they still sit on Santa's lap for a picture. This is a cruel world why make it more cold then it is, 8 is still a baby.

 

PS I know my 12 year old is beyond the red suit, but he would never tell me

You're making me feel under privileged(which I never was in any way):P We must have had our own traditions but I don't recall a single one. I think when you do such fun stuff it makes it easier to believe or even to WANT to believe.

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Illinoismom

Illinoismom

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You're making me feel under privileged(which I never was in any way):P We must have had our own traditions but I don't recall a single one. I think when you do such fun stuff it makes it easier to believe or even to WANT to believe.

Oh don't feel that way, It's all about what you make of it, Up until a few years ago Christmas was my fav time of the year. And with each year as my kids got older and there were more of them we built several traditions, But in the past four or so my Christmas spirit seems to have taken a long vacation. as we speak i am trying to decorate the house, and it's not getting very far. My house was my Christmas joy. Oh well some day it will be back.

 

I remember when my oldest son was 6 he asked how come I had the same paper as Santa well with out missing a beat I told him I wrap the empty boxes and Santa would send the elves to come get them he filled them and labeled them. That worked for several more years until he was 10 and decided to unwrap all the presents he spoiled his Christmas and I went to putting numbers on the boxes. LOLOLOLOLOL

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mgmckny

mgmckny

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Oh don't feel that way, It's all about what you make of it, Up until a few years ago Christmas was my fav time of the year. And with each year as my kids got older and there were more of them we built several traditions, But in the past four or so my Christmas spirit seems to have taken a long vacation. as we speak i am trying to decorate the house, and it's not getting very far. My house was my Christmas joy. Oh well some day it will be back.

 

I remember when my oldest son was 6 he asked how come I had the same paper as Santa well with out missing a beat I told him I wrap the empty boxes and Santa would send the elves to come get them he filled them and labeled them. That worked for several more years until he was 10 and decided to unwrap all the presents he spoiled his Christmas and I went to putting numbers on the boxes. LOLOLOLOLOL

When I made the mistake of telling the boys that something was very expensive and I didn't think Santa could swing it, they questioned how that could be and thus the Parent Share was born. I told them that with technology now and all the kids in the world that Santa needed help to make sure that everyone has a good Christmas and that parents have to pay in a percent of the money for gifts.... They have understood that we are not financially secure and Jeff was already having health issues so it worked and I think that now they play the game to make me happy, or maybe they follow my motto....If you don't believe you don't receive.

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