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Buy Nothing Day


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You're a mean one Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel!

You're as cuddly as a cactus,

And as charming as an eel,

Mr. Grinch!


You're a bad banana,

With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!

Your heart's an empty hole.

Your brain is full of spiders.

You've got garlic in your soul,

Mr. Grinch!


I wouldn't touch you

With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!


You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!

You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness

Of a seasick crocodile,

Mr. Grinch!


Given the choice between the two of you,

I'd take the seasick crocodile!


You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!

You're a nasty, wasty skunk!

Your heart is full of unwashed socks.

Your soul is full of gunk,

Mr. Grinch!


The three words that best describe you

Are as follows, and I quote,

"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch!

You're the king of sinful sots!

Your heart's a dead tomato,

Splotched with moldy, purple spots,

Mr. Grinch!


Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,

Overflowing with the most disgraceful

assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,

Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!

With a nauseous super naus!

You're a crooked jerky jockey,

And you drive a crooked hoss,

Mr. Grinch!


You're a three-decker sauerkraut

and toadstool sandwich,

With arsenic sauce!

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