Adopt a pet from your local shelter. Unless you are planning on showing or breeding, you don;t need papers. What's the point?
I love our Max, we adopted him from the pound in April
Unless you have an in with someone, I doubt very seriously you are going to get the actual ad in your hands before the paper comes out that day. or if your house is in an area where the store mails their ads directly to you. However scans can be found here: http://forums.gottadeal.com/showthread.php?t=15792 And the price debate (with more pictures)here: http://forums.gottadeal.com/showthread.php?t=19559
If you are down on the ground, i don't think you'll be doing any kicking. Just grab their leg as they are flying by, they'll come down on the floor with you, then you can wrassle. (That's my plan)