jerica388

SIL does not allow any one to be alone with her children except for grandparents. No joke. They have never spent the night with anyone other than grandparents. They are not allowed to go play at someone else's house unless she or hubby is there.

You make a good point. I have always felt a little weird that he buys for all the kids but doesn't have any, so its like he is putting in and not getting anything back. I know the gifts are not the main focus of the holiday and he enjoys giving, but it has always felt a little lop-sided to me. My husband says we shouldn't worry about it, but I do feel like I should get him something. But then I worry that SIL will think I am trying to make her family look bad if we get him a gift and they don't. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but I am pretty much to the point where I think I should just do what I feel is right and live with the consequences, whatever they may be. You can't please all the people all the time, right?

When ds was 2 he told Santa the "onliest" thing he wanted for Christmas was a pair of yellow "benders". We racked our brains trying to figure out what in the world he was talking about. I would point out toys in the store and he would tell me they were nice, but he wasn't going to ask for toys because then Santa might not bring him his "benders". I thought Christmas was going to be ruined because my son wouldn't get the one gift he wanted. A couple of days before Christmas we were at the playground at the local mall. There is a small restaurant next to the playground and a group of old men that always sit at the same table every morning. We would always stop and say hi on our way out. My son walked up to one of the men that he really liked and said in a loud whisper, "After Christmas I'm gonna have a pair of benders just like you, but I asked Santa to make mine yellow, 'cause that's my favorite color." It only took me a minute to put it together - the guy he was talking to always wore red suspenders! I was relieved and worried at the same time; do you know how hard it was for me to find a little pair of yellow suspenders??? But with the help of about a dozen friends and family members we found a pair. Oh, the things we do to bring smiles to our childrens faces! BTW - After he got his gift he refused to leave the house unless he had them on for about the next six months :-)

My husband and I have two kids. My brother has two boys, different moms. Their moms always make sure they get to spend Christmas with us, so we spend $20-30 on each of them and I usually buy a nice little $10 something for their moms. The boys each give my kids $5 gifts and everyone is happy with that. My brother is seldom around, so we do not buy for him and do not ever expect him to buy for anyone. My DH side of the family is a little different. We have two, one of his brothers has three kids, and the other has no kids. On that side of the family we all buy for my MIL & FIL, and the kids. We spend $20-30 on the niece and 2 nephews, and SIL (their mom) spends about that on each of our kids. My one BIL that doesn't have kids buys for all the kids, and spends a little more $40-50. That was his own decision. I think it is because he doesn't have kids of his own to buy for (has a steady GF now though, so maybe in a few more years :)) MIL & FIL buy for everyone, but DH, his brothers, and us wives do not exchange gifts with each other. The BIL that does not have kids kind of switched it up last year though and bought all of us adults a gift. He said that he wanted to get us a gift, and he would do whatever he wanted with his money and he did not expect us to get him anything. I appreciated the gift, but felt uncomfortable because we did not get him anything. Now I am wondering about this year - should I buy him something since he bought for us last year? Should I discuss it with him before the holiday? Or should I just do things like we always have and maybe stick a gift card back just in case he springs a gift on us, that way we will be ready?

Darn it! I just found this thread and I am on break at work! I don't know if I will have time to get these tasks done today, but I will try.