#1--"And finally tonight, in an unusual Black Friday promotion, Best Buy awarded their entire store to the first guy in line. His entire neighborhood was called in to carry the building home." #2--"Are you ready out there?? THREE...TWO..ONE...UH--A HALF...A QUARTER--I'm just kidding, folks, you still got a half-hour to wait in the rain. I crack myself up, sometimes..." #3--"JIMMY!! JIMMY! I'm in the red coat, see me? OO-WOO!! Yes, right here by the register! Get the--JIMMY, LISTEN--are they DVD R-PLUS or R-MINUS?? Only the R-MINUS is on sale! Get two! JIMMY! Get two--I'm holding up the line! HURRY!"