PerkynPunctual Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Don't want a gift out of obligation...I would rather have nothing. totally! If someone doesn't know me well enough to be able to pick something out for me, I'd rather that they save their money! That said, I don't understand why someone who wanted a list would then disregard it? And to get the OP's son an item she knew that he wouldn't like? Just because she did like it? Kind of seems like it isn't in the spirit of gift-giving.
leefamily23 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Posted December 23, 2007 I think the thing is--- we are not distant from my mother or my MIL. We're close w/ both sides of the family. We see them at least every couple of day's or no more than every 10 day's. On my husband's side- DS is the only grandchild- and on my side there are 3 in total. We are really close to both families. If this was someone I wasn't super close to- I'd understand- but it's not the case here.
lindabacker Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 My kids are still waiting on Last years' Christmas presents from my MIL
christib327 Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 We're very lucky I guess. My MIL and FIL always put money in our kids college account (Christmas and birthdays) and then get them one or two gifts to open. They usually don't ask for suggestions on that gift, but pick something and then ask if we think they would like/want it before they get it. This year it's a bike. Our kids are still pretty little so they're usually happy with anything. My parents usually ask for an idea and then get some stuff on their own too.
JennaBug's Mom Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 We're very lucky I guess. My MIL and FIL always put money in our kids college account (Christmas and birthdays) and then get them one or two gifts to open. They usually don't ask for suggestions on that gift, but pick something and then ask if we think they would like/want it before they get it. This year it's a bike. Our kids are still pretty little so they're usually happy with anything.My parents usually ask for an idea and then get some stuff on their own too. My dad and stepmom did the exact same thing this year! Money in DD4's acct that they have set up so they can give her the statement when she's 18 and say "this is why we didn't get you alot of presents all those years" and then they got her a Dora bike. She loved it and they picked it out on their own which does make them happy so it's a win win for everyone.
comm402 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I think their own idea's would be great if either one of them took a moment to think of who they were shopping for. It'd be like me buying a side of beef for a vegetarian, of a bra for my father, or a full size mountain bike for an infant. The items are so off based to the person, there is no thought in it. That's the point. I agree with this 100%. I understand the concept of its the thought that counts but I find it mean and hurtful when the giver clearly put no thought into the gift. My MIL knows that my oldest DD HATES anything pink. Now remember, she KNOWS this and every year she buys her some type of pink clothing. She has been asked over and over not to buy clothes for this child and yet this has gone on for years. Uh, hello? Now exactly what thought does that convey? I find it to be not only mean but insulting. I have asked ppl what they want and if it isn't something I find interesting they don't get it. I have to ask, then why do you bother to ask people? I mean the point of giving someone a gift is, I would hope, to give them something that THEY would find interesting. If you wanna buy something that YOU find interesting then go shopping for yourself.
Linda81 Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 :yup:since we are all sharing MIL stories....Here's mine..My daughter is now 11. For at least 3 or 4 Christmas's now my MIL and BIL, SIL have bought clothes for my daughter at Christmas. As I mentioned my daughter is 11 a MAJOR tomboy and weighs 150. She's in womens size clothes so it is VERY obvious when you see her that childrens clothing doens't fit. So my story husband's family members get her girls size 10-12. UMMMM duh...not gonna fit. So rather than giving us a receipt to exchange this stuff. They say well it will fit Alex (one of the neices) so just give it to her. No lie...this has happened many times...my daughter giving up stuff to her cousin and leaving empty handed. How do you explain that to an 11yr old that already has self esteem issues. And NO they never ask for suggestions or sizes. Kinda like they don't even care. So that's my gripe for the day.I think I would say no, She can get something for it on Ebay!!!
laffnatu Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I understand where the op is coming from. My parents and the inlaws have stopped buying gifts. They give all of the kids money. Or my mom will have me pick up something specific that 1 of the younger grandkids have actually asked for. The inlaws used to send Walmart gift cards for my kids. My dd18 doesn't really shop there unless it's makeup, bras or panties. If she couldn't use the card, I would buy it back from her and I'd use it. Heck, I can always find something at Walmart. lol. My dh's father passed away earlier this year so it's just dh's stepmother now. She mailed a $100 certified check with a note telling us to go to a movie and dinner during the holidays. Which is a great idea! We're having a family day Friday for my ds's and dd's birthdays.
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