snakeswiff Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 My inlaws have decide that our Christmas gift this year is a Christmas cruise. I DO NOT want to attend this. This is seriously a bone of contention between my husband and I. I come from a family who stayed home every Christmas since I was born. His family was always working Christmas eve and therefor slept through most of Christmas day. I am seriously so unhappy about the thought of not being in my house for christmas it is actually making me sick to my stomach. I cannot get out of this, it's already paid for, despite my making my disintrest known from the start.I feel it was done selfishly, because they, my inlaws, have always wanted to do this. I guess I am asking what you guys would do if you were in this spot? Also, any ideas on how to tell my daughter that Santa couldnt bring her gifts to the ship? My daughter lives and breathes for Christmas, plus her birthday is Christmas eve...it's just her time of the year. I know when she wakes up on that ship and Santa has only left one small gift for her, she is going to be devistated. Btw she will only be 5. I have such a bad taste about this. Any suggestions???
sbwolfer Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I completely agree with you. My parents never made us go anywhere for Christmas. They didn't even make us visit relatives until the day after Christmas. Our grandparents always came to see us on Christmas day. They didn't feel that it was right to make a child be away from home for Christmas. You are in a difficult position because it is already paid for. It seems your inlaws just kind of steam rolled you. If you voice your opinion you risk making them mad and then everyone will be miserable the whole trip. But if you don't say anything you will be miserable and it could cause problems between you and you husband. I think you should definitely talk to your husband. Let him know how you feel and remember that it isn't his fault. Then maybe you can both face your in laws. It wouldn't be right if he makes you do that alone. Good luck with it! I hope it all works out.
love2beurwifey Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I agree I think its a bad idea and it should wait until after Christmas
EmConMom Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I personally want to be at home for Christmas. I like to visit with my family, extended and immediate. I want to sit by MY tree on Christmas eve and plan my Christmas breakfast with my kids. I want to wait for the kids to wake up to find the presents under the tree. Other people do like to do vacations, that is their 'thing'. I think it was rather selfish of your IL's to impose their 'thing' on you. While it was generous of them to pay for your cruise, the fact that they picked the date and are telling you when/how to use the gift kind of overrides the generousity. I would definetly talk it over with your DH and tell him how you feel. If you are this upset now, you will not be able to have fun on the cruise thus making everyone's trip less enjoyable. Good luck:fluffy:
kmbrly Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 You're not going to like my answer, but.... (I'm trying to word it so it doesn't sound insensitive on my part) I was just thinking how generous your in-laws were to give you a cruise. Do you not get along with them? Or do you not want to go because you'd just rather be at home? (here's where I'm trying to NOT sound insensitive)... It sounds like you're set in your ways, and want things done your way (staying home every Christmas). What about your husband? Is he in favor of the cruise? I, personally, think it would be wonderful to be on a cruise with my family celebrating a holiday. (I think it would be wonderful to be with family no matter where you are or what you're doing). Christmas can happen whereever you are. And as far as explaining it to your child. What about celebrating Christmas early, like before the cruise. Tell her you made special arrangements with Santa to have her presents delivered early. Then celebrate Christmas on the cruise also. Take an extra suitcase with more "santa" presents in it. What kid wouldn't like to have an extra Christmas? If your husband is in favor of the cruise, why not just go along with it? I'm guessing he's done Christmas your way in the past. Then next year you can always tell him "no, we did it your way last year."
bayhaysay Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I like to be home on Christmas also. We used to have to drive an hour to get to my grandmothers by noon and them another 1.5 hours to get to my other grandparents by supper. While that's not as bad as being as far away as you guys, lol, we ended up spending most of the day driving and visiting relatives that my kids didn't even remember what Santa brought them because we were in such a rush all day long. For the past 3 years I've made a rule that we don't leave town on Christmas day. That first year we missed Christmas dinner with both of my grandparents but for the past 2 years they have decided to have Christmas dinner on another day when everyone can be there and it's turned out great not only for us but everyone else also. Long story short, I'd feel the same as you about wanting to spend Christmas at home. Try to remember though, that your husband really may not understand where you're coming from. You may have to convince him, lol. Is there any chance you can trade it in for a cruise at another time of the year?
glitterstarr Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I've also spent Christmas at home and that's just the way it is and will always be as long as my child is living at home. I just wasn't one who wanted to make my kids go somewhere else on Christmas Day after getting all their toys that morning. Sorry but what child wants to leave all their Christmas toys right after receiving them to go somewhere. I always hated having to leave my toys as a child to go eat and spend the day somewhere else and I swore that when I got married and had children that Christmas Day would always be spent at home so they could enjoy their gifts. I think your inlaws giving all of you a cruise is wonderful but I think they should have chosen a date that everyone agreed upon. If it was me I would have preferred to take the cruise in the spring time.
snakeswiff Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 When my husband and I had kids, we agreed that Christmas would be spent at home, mainly because HE never enjoyed a christmas, and he didnt want his kids to be shuffled around all evening like he was. That said, my whole deal with the cruise is that they could have picked another time of the year to do it. It didnt have to be christmas. If the gift is not wanted, does it matter how generous it is?? Now my husband and I have to change our holiday traditions to fit this little outing. He is also torn about going, but he looks at from the point of that he can go do whatever he wants with his dad and brother and I can take care of the kids....Thats just the way his mind is. And no I dont particularly get along with his mother, and the thought of spending 7 days on vacation with her is enough to drive me to drink. Lets face it, both hubby and I know that if we didnt have kids they wouldnt give a damn what we did, where we were or anything. Its just a stinky situation that I have no choice but do deal with. Funny thing is, her own daughter didnt want to go either(she has 2 children as well).....you think she would have taken the hint, when the 2 with with children wanted no part of this. Yes I may be being selfish, but you know what, they are our kids and our traditions that have been totally discounted. So who's really being the selfish one? By making us do Christmas her way??
momof5plus1hubby Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I like to be home for the holidays..I wouldn't go away, but every family is different. So you do whatever your comfortable with:D
decafmom Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Here's the thing...it's paid for and it sounds like you're going whether you want to or not, so you've just got to make the best of it. I would want to be home on Christmas as well, so I can definitely see your point. HOWEVER, from this point on, I would just try your best to make it a positive experience for everyone. Your daughter will be fine with it all as long as you're fine with it. You don't want her to pick up on your stress. Before we go on any cruise, I always visit the message boards at http://www.cruisecritic.com. There is most likely already a roll call board for your cruise and you can chat with others who will be on the ship at the same time as you. Perhaps some of them have the same concerns and can share how they will be handling things. I know how important traditions are, but it sounds like you're stuck for this Christmas. So, go and have fun on your il's money. :)
snakeswiff Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 Thanks for that link, I will check it out. I have not let on to my daughter how I feel about it...so that should be ok. And your right it's their money.....and I really have no choice, and you bet this will NEVER happen again!!!!
Cecilliadb Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 The past couple years we have spent Christmas with our in-laws so it is a vacation to us. But it's with family so it just seems right, and theres snow :) I wouldnt want to be with no snow for Christmas, it's a big deal to me. But if my husband and kids wanted to I would bite my tongue for one Christmas and just let them enjoy since I get Christmas my way all the time lol.
magickallight Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 My DH wants us to leave the day after Christmas to drive from Alabama to Maryland to visit with his sister... I would love to do this - but, have 2nd thoughts about getting back just in time for school to start and having a house ful of decorations and Christmas mess to deal with... not to mention we have 3 VERY bad cats that would love to "un-decorate" while we are gone!
Illinoismom Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 I am a homebody at Christmas, I like being home, In 2003 I went home with my family to Florida to spend Christmas with my mom and dad and the rest of my family. I dreaded it, I shipped all our presents there and shipped everything home. I hated it, It will remain the worst Christmas ever but then it will be the best Christmas ever. That was my Mom's last Christmas and every one was together.But none of us do anything the same and it was very stressed,loud and uncomfortable. We made do and survived,
heather2309 Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 i know what your feeling my husbands family decided that we were going to spend this holiday in the florida keys yeah it sounds nice but it could`ve been another time every year we spend xmas eve travling to his familys functions and then to my familys functions so it`s not like we don`t have holidays together and on christmas day we`ve always been home to be just my hubby myself and our daughter shes young and still believes in santa which i`ve already told her that we will have to write to santa and see since she`s been such a good girl if he could bring them early i am bothered by this to it`s time to be at home our own xmas tree our own dinner and besides that when i told my mother we wouldn`t be home she was sad my one brother just moved to florida and won`t be home for xmas and now i am not going to be here to but i will stand by my husband and go i`m sure i will have good time even though my mother in law drives me crazy i will have a rental car and can take off anytime lol just to say ithink it`s ok that you feel this way i`m sure it`s the last thing you want to do is spend it with people you don`t want to be around but try to have a good time and good luck:)
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