Serious question regarding service dog on Black Friday (UPDATE)

[Illinoismom]

Okay I have a very serious question, if you do not have input please do not respond, I do not want this to turn to a negative discussion I have been on these forums to see many a topic go bad. 

 

 

I want the pros and cons to be honest I have not made up my mind what to do. 

 

Last Nov my softball playing dancing daughter while at college started to have seizures, Now she had, had seizures before including one several years ago during black Friday. With the diagnoses of Epilepsy and PTSD  this has causes her to withdraw from college and move back home. 

 

In August after fundraising she was matched with a service dog, Phoebe is a 75 lb black lab. Phoebe goes every where with her she is a seizure response dog. The dog has all credentials a service dog has, Phoebe has gone with my daughter to school everyday here local, she has been to concerts, we even took her to the huge fair here and we were down in the pit for every one of the concerts. She was by her side everyday at the Mayo. 

 

I am not worried about the dog being anxious black Friday, nor  afraid. She is there to do a job for my daughter and that is to keep an eye on her, tend to her needs. 

 

My problem is this my 19 year old because of the seizures has lost so much in a year, softball on the college level, living at school in Wisconsin, being able to drive. I don't want to take something else away from her. It is either leave her my daughter and Phoebe  home or take them there is no in between. I am aware of the ADA laws those are not my issue. 

 

So any one want to give sound advice please contribute, just saying black friday is no place for the dog, and she isn't just a dog she is my daughters life line. please don't respond. If this thread gets out of control I will ask Brad to remove it.

 

Thanks 

Edited November 26, 2016 by Illinoismom

[riven3d]

Paula I will keep this topic moderated nicely for you, I feel for ya

 

honestly until you do it you dont know how its going to be, I know you had said one of the places would be Walmart, why dont you go talk to the store manager at the store you plan to shop at and talk to him about it, maybe he/she might be able to come up with a plan that would make it safe for your daughter where she can enjoy shopping with you still

[Illinoismom]

Thanks riven for your help 

[mommy2twingles]

Would it be possible to get any hot items you need online and maybe head to the stores a little later.  Maybe an hour or two after they open, so that the initial rush is out?

[Illinoismom]

This is contingent on what is in the rest of the ads, but I don't think with several doorbusters are on line  

[Kanyon71]

I agree I would talk to some of the store managers and ask their advice.

 

Only thing I would worry about is not the dog freaking out they are usually very well trained and super calm but people getting stupid and the dog possibly getting hurt dealing because of the mad rushes and such. If you aren't going to be in the mad rush I would see no issues with it.

[mommy2twingles]

I think then it will all depend on the people in your area.  I remember years back when I was pregnant I was waiting at Walmart for a dvd player before they opened the pallets.  I had a very nice man tell me to stay back and he would hand me one.  I think in general most people will be helpful.   Sounds like your daughter does great with her condition.  If she wants to go I would not let it stop you both. 

[chachn8r]

I'm a bread distributor and have come into contact with a few service animals and owners walking the grocery aisles. I have witnessed lots of negativity toward the owners because people don't think it's right for an animal to be near food. Just be aware that your daughter's dog has every right to be there, but there are a few bad apples in the world that feel their opinion should be heard. I blame social media for that, in the 18 years I've distributed bread, the past few years have been worst for customer commentary

 

Sent from my SM-G920P using GottaDeal mobile app

[racerfan]

Last year at my Walmart there was a service dog. All went well. Many (not going to say all) helped out by paving the way

 

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[Elmck]

I hope she gets to go. My only concern would be someone hurting the dog accidentally.

[budgetsRsexy]

I see no reason that your daughter should not go. If you are concerned that Phoebe might get injured in the initial rush, do you think having her be in a cart might be a possibility? That way she could be near your daughter and not under foot when the doors open, but could get out of the cart a tiny bit later in the shopping trip after the mad dash into the store.

[riven3d]

I see no reason that your daughter should not go. If you are concerned that Phoebe might get injured in the initial rush, do you think having her be in a cart might be a possibility? That way she could be near your daughter and not under foot when the doors open, but could get out of the cart a tiny bit later in the shopping trip after the mad dash into the store.

we asked that question, the dog is too big for that option

[mcwalker]

I think it is wonderful that if your daughter enjoys Black Friday, you are making the effort to maintain her opportunity to participate.  

 

With regard to the rush when doors open, in general, with the earlier Thanksgiving openings, I think the rush is somewhat reduced, though certainly not eliminated.

 

I don't know much about seizures, but one question is whether certain conditions (such as the rush at the start of Black Friday) might increase the likelihood that your daughter might experience one.  In that case, don't try to be near the front of any lines.

 

My inclination would be to say, by all means, take your daughter along if that is what she wants.  Be sure to have proper ID to indicate that the dog is a service animal, as the disability is not readily apparent.

 

Family first.  Shopping second.  (Black Friday with Family: Priceless)

Edited November 7, 2016 by mcwalker

[bigjimslade]

Paula....your daughter and your family have been in my prayers.  I want to publicly say that Paula has put her life on hold to make sure that her daughter got a service dog.

 

My concern is the dog getting hurt.  I have seen too many videos and people who don't care about others.

 

 

[Illinoismom]

Paula....your daughter and your family have been in my prayers.  I want to publicly say that Paula has put her life on hold to make sure that her daughter got a service dog.

 

My concern is the dog getting hurt.  I have seen too many videos and people who don't care about others.

 

Dev, you and your family have been in my prayers as well. It's been a rough road we travel all of us and these bumps we face are just that bumps.

[Pnambic]

My prayers are with you as well.

 

My first concern, as mcwalker mentioned, is how your daughter will handle the stress.  Maybe the people around you waiting to get in are great and understanding, and the weather is pleasant, and everything goes perfectly smoothly.  Your daughter and her service dog would likely be just fine.  But maybe the weather turns nasty, and people get cold and uncomfortable, and they start getting snippy with everyone around them, and things get ugly.  Maybe there are arguments and cursing, or worse.  How would this affect your daughter?  Would it cause another seizure?  What if her dog gets stepped on accidentally (or God forbid on purpose), would the stress trigger a seizure?  I honestly don't know much about seizures, so I'm not suggesting anything, just asking questions.  My job is to identify fail points and keep them from happening with data, so I tend to be the kind of person who prepares for the worst in most things.

 

You know your daughter better than anyone I imagine.  You probably know what she can handle and what she can't.  Contact those stores in advance and see if maybe you can't work something out.  I've known store managers who would come up with a creative solutions (such as maybe letting you in a back door with some stash set aside for you) for challenging situations and I've known many who would just turn a blind eye.  You don't know til you ask.

 

Good luck!

And I echo "family first".

[Illinoismom]

I think it is wonderful that if your daughter enjoys Black Friday, you are making the effort to maintain her opportunity to participate.  

 

With regard to the rush when doors open, in general, with the earlier Thanksgiving openings, I think the rush is somewhat reduced, though certainly not eliminated.

 

I don't know much about seizures, but one question is whether certain conditions (such as the rush at the start of Black Friday) might increase the likelihood that your daughter might experience one.  In that case, don't try to be near the front of any lines.

 

My inclination would be to say, by all means, take your daughter along if that is what she wants.  Be sure to have proper ID to indicate that the dog is a service animal, as the disability is not readily apparent.

 

Family first.  Shopping second.  (Black Friday with Family: Priceless)

The dog is properly identified as a service dog, and the disability doesn't have to be apparent to warrant a service dog. She has not been questioned yet, and so every one knows they can only ask what the dog is in service for. Which she will very politely tell you seizures. No one can ask any other questions.

the only store I think we will be at at opening is Gordmans.   

[Illinoismom]

My prayers are with you as well.

 

My first concern, as mcwalker mentioned, is how your daughter will handle the stress.  Maybe the people around you waiting to get in are great and understanding, and the weather is pleasant, and everything goes perfectly smoothly.  Your daughter and her service dog would likely be just fine.  But maybe the weather turns nasty, and people get cold and uncomfortable, and they start getting snippy with everyone around them, and things get ugly.  Maybe there are arguments and cursing, or worse.  How would this affect your daughter?  Would it cause another seizure?  What if her dog gets stepped on accidentally (or God forbid on purpose), would the stress trigger a seizure?  I honestly don't know much about seizures, so I'm not suggesting anything, just asking questions.  My job is to identify fail points and keep them from happening with data, so I tend to be the kind of person who prepares for the worst in most things.

 

You know your daughter better than anyone I imagine.  You probably know what she can handle and what she can't.  Contact those stores in advance and see if maybe you can't work something out.  I've known store managers who would come up with a creative solutions (such as maybe letting you in a back door with some stash set aside for you) for challenging situations and I've known many who would just turn a blind eye.  You don't know til you ask.

 

Good luck!

And I echo "family first".

People can be very nasty black Friday, This I know as I like many of you have done this a long time. Our life has changed so very much in a year, what is that saying in a blink everything can change or be gone. She can handle several things and I know her triggers, there will be more then just her and I, and believe it or not I may be very over protective but her little brother is ten times worse then I could ever be. We will also have her sister, her sister and I did some talking tonight and will do more as this time gets closer. I will never ever put her in a position to be hurt.I also would not allow Phoebe to be put in harms way. But on the other side of this coin, I can not let her feel like she can not do some of the things she had done in the past. If we attempt Walmart she will have to stay close to the front of the store, as it is not safe for able bodied people. I like a good deal but I love my kids more 

[Dyva247]

You have gotten some great advice. You will make the right decision.

[grouchers]

I am not sure how your family does Walmart but we usually have a divide and conquer approach.  When you split up the list maybe she could take some of the items that either have dedicated lines/tickets or are less likely to be mobbed. 

[tracy0504]

I think you are doing good by formulating a plan with your other daughter and I believe if you stick to your final game plan everyone involved will be able to enjoy the experience.  Like you said "able bodied" people are not safe in Walmart...something I would suggest is allowing her to go in the more controlled environments in Walmart, like mine has the section where they are selling the DVDs/Video Games manned by a couple of people and they only allow a certain amount in @ a time...she will still get the experience, but not be in harms way... this year I am bringing one of those folding chairs that I can sling over my shoulder to wait in line as I normally do not have much to get from Walmart, this might be another option as well...I hope you all get to enjoy the experience!!!!

[tinkrbel]

We've got a good bunch of apples in the GD community I think you should take them both out and just gauge the crowds before going into the melee. Having been there, there's nothing worse than being molly coddled and stopped from living because you're not 100%. Maybe send the sister into more crowded/crazy spaces to avoid any possible issues. I STILL haven't looked at ads but there's nothing worth risking your/families life or safety over.

 

Service dogs are amazing creatures. It would be awesome if there were more funding for them as they could alleviate so much from so many.

[Kanyon71]

We've got a good bunch of apples in the GD community I think you should take them both out and just gauge the crowds before going into the melee. Having been there, there's nothing worse than being molly coddled and stopped from living because you're not 100%. Maybe send the sister into more crowded/crazy spaces to avoid any possible issues. I STILL haven't looked at ads but there's nothing worth risking your/families life or safety over.

 

Service dogs are amazing creatures. It would be awesome if there were more funding for them as they could alleviate so much from so many.

Couldn't agree more, I wish it were easier for those in need of them to be able to get them.

[sdn40]

I'm sure you have already done this, but make sure you know what your daughters expectations are. She may no longer want or need to be in the immediate rush of things. I'm sure she knows what may be in store for herself as well and understands that some adjustments may need to occur. At the end of the day, spending BF with her mother and or friends in whatever capacity possible is what really matters. That trumps any dumb doorbuster. She can be part of a pre or post shopping restaurant or coffee shop stop as well so add that in if you already haven't. Never lose sight of the fact that its not about the items in the shopping cart, but the memories of the journey.

Edited November 8, 2016 by sdn40

[sbwolfer]

I think with the way store opening times are not it seems to have helped with the mad rush at store openings. I think as long as you and your daughter feel comfortable and you think the dog will handle it okay you should go. I'd probably stay away from the items that people are more likely to go crazy over like electronics. If you need those items maybe you could split up with another family member so one can get those items and someone can stay with your daughter.

 

Whatever you decide I wish your family well.

[TazErase]

Would your daughter be ok on Black Friday? I have a disabled daughter as well, so I understand your concerns, and the last thing I want to do is offend you. I was just wondering if with PTSD and seizures if confined spaces that are crowded are not going to cause her problems. You obviously know her better, if SHE is ok with it, then I would say by all means take her and her service dog. No one will stop you as long as you have the credentials. Personally I would be willing to help her get her items and give her space if I were in the store with her, but many people are inconsiderate on Black Friday and common sense and respect goes out the window for many.

[bribri25]

Going a little later and avoiding the mass crowds might help things. I definitely see service dogs in the retailers (maybe not so much on BF), so it's just a matter of being in a safe environment for everyone.

 

Good luck!!

[Illinoismom]

So we looked at things different this year, Did most of the big items and they really were not big items on line, The 55 inch TV for work bought on line at walmart along with some TV box sets and the wall mount. Bought the 19.00 printer on line at Best Buy and some movies. We left the house @ 3:30 pm headed to Penney's missed the made dash and  the coupon off they offered but it was okay, Then we went to Gordmans for their opening it was not do bad and my daughter and her dog did great. Then to Yonkers's Had to have those boots. Next we did go to Walmart about 1 after opening and got a few things that were left, Kept her out of electronics as that was packed her and my other daughter went to the movies at the other end of the store as the rush was over. We then went to Target, and back to another Walmart were I got the 39.00 heater. So all in all it was uneventful no problems and she had a great time as she has always had. The only problem she is has was the women who gave her a hard time because she wouldn't let her pet Phoebe. 

 

Thanks for all the advice 

[riven3d]

thats great to hear Paula, now you have next year to branch out even more and you got to see how things went this year

[Bopeep]

So glad things turned out well Paula!