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2012 is going down as my Annus horribilis.

speeddiva

By speeddiva
in 2012

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speeddiva

speeddiva

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DD wrecked her car in July so I had to cancel my vacation to go deal with that since the car was in my name. State Farm & I apparently had differing opinions of what constitued full coverage so I got nothing for her wrecked car & had to use some of my Christmas $ buy her another one so she could go to work/school. I really didn't mind buying her a car because she rarely asks for $, is working & paying for school herself, but it put a dent in my BF funds.

 

I lost my job in September and then my Mom had a stroke on Halloween and passed away last week (on my 25th wedding anniversary, no less) no more Grandma's for Thanksgiving. MIL gave it up years ago so no help there. DD is away at college and I can't afford a plane ticket for Thanksgiving and Christmas so she won't be home. It's just me, DH & my teenage sons, none of which care for making a big deal over dinner. I think we are just going out for Chinese.

 

Even Christmas isn't exciting me this year, kids are all grown up and asking for expensive gifts I can't afford. My Mother left a ton of debts and no will so now I have to pay a lawyer to deal with it all, pay all the filing fees, etc, up front. Plus I have to keep up her lot rent, gas & electric on her mobile home until the courts say I can sell it. All expenses I can't afford right now.

 

And of course, I can't wait for the in-laws @ Christmas where the motto is "It isn't Christmas until somebody cries" It's always stressful but DH refuses to skip it. I just drink my way through it most years :burp:

 

Sigh.....if you made it this far, thanks for letting me vent. :)

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abentley

abentley

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I am so sorry you are going thru all of this. My season is a low one as well. My 2010 car died 2 days ago, and i had to buy another. That night my grandmother fell and broke her back and during a cat scan they found a large tumor in her lung. She has made it thru surgery for her back, but everything else is unclear. My mother wants me to fly out immediatley, but i am still a mom to 2 teenage boys, as my dh works out of town. Thanksgiving will quiet as well as our older children wont be home either and my ds15 wants hamburgers every night for dinner INCLUDING Thanksgiving. I am definatley grateful for all we do have, and will enjoy the weekend.
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tinkrbel

tinkrbel

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I'm sorry so many are having a tough time of it this year :( Hopefully the new year brings renewed strength and better prospects/opportunities.

 

My thoughts are with everyone going through a tough time, may you have the strength and stamina to pull through whatever is affecting you. We really are a cozy family here.

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jakesmommy403

jakesmommy403

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Wow, what a year! Seems like it's going around. I'm so sorry for all the pain and hardships you're all going through, and I hope you can all find some comfort somewhere. It's been a rough one here, as well. We've had some losses, illnesses, etc, and now I've got a health issue of my own going on. Ugh. Looking forward to putting 2012 behind us.
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samisma

samisma

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i'm sorry that so much has gone on and is putting a damper on your holiday season...

 

just a thought - you might be able to brighten up someone else's christmas if you donate those trees to your local women's crisis center/shelter (same with the toilet paper & pasta - most of those places have very limited funds and they're trying to help women and children who have very little as well)

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speeddiva

speeddiva

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i'm sorry that so much has gone on and is putting a damper on your holiday season...

 

just a thought - you might be able to brighten up someone else's christmas if you donate those trees to your local women's crisis center/shelter (same with the toilet paper & pasta - most of those places have very limited funds and they're trying to help women and children who have very little as well)

I have already boxed up the foods, etc. I had already planned to donate everything, even her trailer was going to Habitat for Humanity, but then I started getting her mail & found out all the unpaid bills she had so now anything of value has to be sold to satisfy the debts she ran up in the last year.

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Cinnamonhuskies

Cinnamonhuskies

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When my mom died back in 1997, she had a trailer in a park and debt. My sister and I went thru her stuff and had a local resale furniture come and get all of her furniture and sell it for us. We had a local consignment store come and take ALL of the household goods and whatever they did not want they donated for us. We cleaned the trailer from top to bottom and listed it with a realtor. We had my sister sign over (relinquish) her part in the trailer at the Michigan Seceretary of Stare's office so i could sell it while she flew back to Wisconsin.

This was done in 3 days time at christmastime as my mom died the first week of December.

The debts were just let go as was a car that had a lien on it. There was no will, hence no executor of the estate, so anyone that was owed anything was SOL. I had the trailer sold by new year's and the funeral guy paid for with that money.

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samisma

samisma

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speeddiva..

 

i work in finance, typically unless the individual who passed away left a will, trust, or estate they can't legally hold you responsible for her debts.

 

 

trust me. at least once a month i submit paperwork to have thousands of dollars moved to 'uncollectible'.

 

typically all you have to do is provide a death certificate and then that's the end of the matter with the collectors/accounts.

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speeddiva

speeddiva

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When my mom died back in 1997, she had a trailer in a park and debt. My sister and I went thru her stuff and had a local resale furniture come and get all of her furniture and sell it for us. We had a local consignment store come and take ALL of the household goods and whatever they did not want they donated for us. We cleaned the trailer from top to bottom and listed it with a realtor. We had my sister sign over (relinquish) her part in the trailer at the Michigan Seceretary of Stare's office so i could sell it while she flew back to Wisconsin.

This was done in 3 days time at christmastime as my mom died the first week of December.

The debts were just let go as was a car that had a lien on it. There was no will, hence no executor of the estate, so anyone that was owed anything was SOL. I had the trailer sold by new year's and the funeral guy paid for with that money.

How did you get the trailer put in your name? My Mom's was the only name on the title so I was told by a lawyer I had to probate it before I could do anything.

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Cinnamonhuskies

Cinnamonhuskies

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If there was no will, no need to probate unless another sibling would fight it. It was just my sister and I. Mom did not owe on the trailer, and it seems to me my sister and I went into the Sec of State with the death certificate and transferred the title to me and my sister signed some legal paper relinquishing her share of ownership. It's actually easier with a mobile home than a regular house and property. Edited by Cinnamonhuskies
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Cinnamonhuskies

Cinnamonhuskies

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speeddiva..

 

i work in finance, typically unless the individual who passed away left a will, trust, or estate they can't legally hold you responsible for her debts.

 

 

trust me. at least once a month i submit paperwork to have thousands of dollars moved to 'uncollectible'.

 

typically all you have to do is provide a death certificate and then that's the end of the matter with the collectors/accounts.

Exactly. I went to a Christian lawyer friend of a friend for a consulation for free before we began. No will, no responsibility. Your lawyer is complicating things.
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speeddiva

speeddiva

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If there was no will, no need to probate unless another sibling would fight it. It was just my sister and I. Mom did not owe on the trailer, and it seems to me my sister and I went into the Sec of State with the death certificate and transferred the title to me and my sister signed some legal paper relinquishing her share of ownership. It's actually easier with a mobile home than a regular house and property.

It must be different from state to state. I just called our county clerk & she also said it will have to be Probated before I can do any thing with it.

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samisma

samisma

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The most important thing to know is that unless you have joint accounts, or you are a co-signer on your mom's accounts, or if your mom left a legal will/document naming you as the responsible party you do not have to pay those debts in the state of Ohio.

 

One of the first things you need to do is get your mother's estate declared "insolvent". This status means that you have to notify all the debtors that the estate has been legally declared insolvent which means they have to eat the debt. However, when an estate is deemed insolvent the heirs/executor (named by court) have to sell all the property to pay what is called necessary debt.

 

In your state the debts that are required to be paid first (in this order): estate administrating fees, funeral expenses, taxes, last illness bills, then secured debts (mortgages, car loans), and LAST credit card debts, utilities, etc.

 

Here is the thing about it. If the estate is worth $30,000 and the administrating fees are a $1000, the funeral is $6000, taxes are $1000, and the illness bills are $30,000 - then once the money runs out it runs out and you are not responsible for coming up for the difference. Instead you simply provide those debt collectors/agencies with the letter showing that the estate was insolvent, detail the situation, and show that by the time it was their turn to get paid there was no money left.

 

You may still get aggressive collectors calling you (in fact I guarantee it). If they do you can cite the FDCPA and provide them with a cease & desist letter (send certified with read receipt). DO NOT give them any of your personal information, including your SSN, your place of work, or even your birthdate

 

these websites may be great resources for you:

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/alerts/alt004.shtm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-t-miller/savvy-senior-dying-with-d_b_1414499.html

 

 

I would get on that Lawyer!!!

 

He/She needs to:

1. Establish Probate (which is true, Ohio made that law in 2009)

2. Petition the court to name an executor/administrator

3. Have the assets vs debt reviewed (should be within 30 days of death)

4. Have the estate/property deemed insolvent by the court

Edited by samisma
added stuff about the lawyer. sorry for the novel
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