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santa question (for adults only)


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#31 scrabbler  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 11:53 am

It is different being a random person that runs across a child that believes in Santa than being the parent of a child that asks if there is a Santa. When my kids were younger and I helped out in school, reading with them etc, and it happened to be the Holiday Season, I never lied to them about whether there was a Santa or not. And it isn't difficult because kids don't read things into what you say at a young age. If a child shares their joy about sitting on Santa's lap or writing a letter to the North Pole, it would be incredibly cruel to tell them anything but what they believe. It would be like telling a young child with a divorcing parent that their Mommy (or daddy) really just wants to have sex with another man...it just isn't necessary. And it isn't necessary to lie, not because we never do as humans, but because they are kids and I can talk to them without pushing my beliefs on them. To me, it is and was completely different when my son asked me if there was a Santa or not and the emphasis on the not. It wasn't important for me to reinforce a secondary part of Christmas in our family. It was more important that I discuss what Christmas means to me and my family.

#32 scrabbler  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 11:56 am

I wanted to add after reading 4gr8girls post that I did not ever intend to infer that if you celebrate Santa, you are not a real Christian. (and not that you intended that either..) My point has always been to do what works in your house. If you feel it is important to you to have Santa, have Santa. If you are conflicted about Santa and do not want to use him, it is really up to you and can work out fine.

#33 tntsmomie  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 12:01 pm

You know, even as an adult, I still tear-up when I see Santa at stores. I get emotional when I see my kids sitting on his lap, telling him their wishes. What's wrong with letting them believe? We know it's a state-of-mind -- giving to those in need, "granting" wishes, loving those around you. But if they can enjoy and believe in the magic of that side of Christmas, I say why not. Kids grow up too fast now, and I want for them to enjoy some magic while they're still young enough to believe. I don't remember how old I was when I discovered the truth (by sneaking peeks in my parents' closet and finding my "Santa Gift")...maybe 8-9?? But even after that, I still believed in it to an extent. I figured that Santa needed to help other kids from families that couldn't afford what we could.

#34 scrabbler  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 12:39 pm

What's wrong with letting them believe? We know it's a state-of-mind -- giving to those in need, "granting" wishes, loving those around you. But if they can enjoy and believe in the magic of that side of Christmas, I say why not.



And being a parent, it is a decision you get to make for your kids.

Just like there is nothing wrong with letting them believe, there is nothing wrong with telling them whatever you decide to tell them.

#35 tntsmomie  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 1:04 pm

And being a parent, it is a decision you get to make for your kids.

Just like there is nothing wrong with letting them believe, there is nothing wrong with telling them whatever you decide to tell them.



Exactly. Not every family is the same. Beliefs are going to vary.
In our house, we believe in God and Santa. And the Tooth Fairy (who visited last night!). And the Easter Bunny...but he's not given enough credit. :)
It's tough with kids now b/c of how commercial Christmas has become. Santa is out left and right on decorations, clothes, cards, lights, etc. I don't see many religious holiday items anymore.
I just had a big discussion with my daughter last night about God and Jesus and Christmas. She's 5 and is really starting to ask questions about God.

But, back to your comment...no, there's nothing wrong with telling your children that Santa really lives in the spirit of the holidays and not in the flesh, if that's what you choose to do.

#36 dgmommie  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 8:25 pm

My response was written because some people have given me a great deal of flack because we chose not to do the Santa thing...and we did do parts of it. We put out food and drink...we just never did Santa gifts.


May I ask? If you don't do the gifts, then why put out food and drink? Why leave food and drink for Santa to come yet leave no presents? Really curious...

#37 jeninpa  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 15, 2008 - 10:42 pm

May I ask? If you don't do the gifts, then why put out food and drink? Why leave food and drink for Santa to come yet leave no presents? Really curious...


I wondered the same thing but was afraid to ask,lol. If you don't mind sharing, why & do you eat it/drink it or throw it out in the morning?
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#38 scrabbler  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 16, 2008 - 3:27 am

May I ask? If you don't do the gifts, then why put out food and drink? Why leave food and drink for Santa to come yet leave no presents? Really curious...


Why not?

They know Mom and Dad put all the gifts out once they go to bed so they leave us stuff. One year it was a Diet Coke and a meat and cheese plate cuz Mom and Dad hadn't had much supper.

When they were little, before bed, they took turns putting baby Jesus in the Nativity Scene and they were very excited about how it was the celebration of his birthday...every kid loves birthdays. Then we would get together the special plate and glass and decided what was good to leave to eat.

And dh and I always ate something. Why not? We were busy putting out and filling stockings and putting together toys and putting presents under the tree.

There are reasons for all the stuff that you do for Santa besides the reason of Santa...and we just enjoyed all the symbolism and adapted it to our special celebration, not Santa.

There was no reason not to teach my kids all of the rituals and it made it easier for them not to have to lie when they were at school.
Johnny at school: What did you leave out for Santa?
ds: We left a sandwich cuz we thought he might want to eat something else.

Also, I believe that it is important to teach them different rituals etc so when they grow up they can decide which are important for them.

We also did St Nick's nite for a few years and they had the fun of putting out their slippers and getting something in them as a build up for the big birthday celebration.

I think that is what people don't understand about not doing Santa...it doesn't make it less fun...it just made it easier for us because we aren't doing something we don't really believe in.

#39 tntsmomie  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 16, 2008 - 6:19 am

We also did St Nick's nite for a few years and they had the fun of putting out their slippers and getting something in them as a build up for the big birthday celebration.


We left our boots out once when we lived in Germany. I LOVED this. It was always a few days before Christmas. And it was just plain fun! It wasn't about "what" was in there - you know, getting BIG gifts. It was about the excitement that we were leaving our boots outside our front door, plus, it was different than the regular Christmas celebrations. It was new and helped us learn that not everyone does the same things.

#40 heatherbade  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 16, 2008 - 10:18 am

I asked my son (when he was 10) now 12, do you really think your cheap *** Dad would spring for all these gifts? He laughed and never brought it up until a couple of months ago when he told his dad he appreciates how hard he works in order for 'Santa' to deliver his gifts. Our 8 y/o girl has asked but she pretty much believes in Santa. Maybe she is too afraid of not believing because she won't get any presents. I have to say X-mas is alot easier with the kids knowing.

#41 jeninpa  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 17, 2008 - 11:58 pm

Why not?

They know Mom and Dad put all the gifts out once they go to bed so they leave us stuff. One year it was a Diet Coke and a meat and cheese plate cuz Mom and Dad hadn't had much supper.


Actually this was all I wondered,lol. I thought you still put stuff out for Santa, which is why I was so confused! Thanks for explaining it! A snack would be great when doing all that work putting thing out under the tree. As much as I love the whole Santa thing and would never do it differently, I do envy you. It is so much work to hide so much stuff and waiting until the kids are asleep and being up from 2am-4am arranging and putting bows on things....it is so much work and I have been doing it for 13 yrs. I am tired and still have a good 5 years or more left! I do get where you are coming from and I don't feel like your kids are getting "ripped off" not experiencing the same things my kids do, I only had a problem with it being considered "lying" to your kids to do Santa(which was never your point I know!). Thanks for the explanation and I hope you weren't offended.

BTW, I couldn't lie to DS4(now 5) and tell him the Disney characters were real when he asked,lol. I did say they were people dressed up when he asked but he seemed to forget about that and would talk excitedly as though they were real and I didn't correct him. I also tell him store Santa's and Easter Bunny's aren't real and I feel like a mean mom doing it. I think the whole thing is I 'feel' that Santa is real so I have no problem with Santa bringing the gifts,lol.
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#42 scrabbler  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 18, 2008 - 3:50 am

I think some of us lie to our kids and some "lie" to our kids. There are times when there is no need to tell a woman she is fat or a child that there is no Santa when it is so very obvious that they both need to hold on to what they believe. The only way your family will work is to do what you feel is the best. I felt it was best when my son looked at me and asked me ,to tell him what I thought. Doesn't mean we don't put out cute Santas or my kids don't go to Santa's store to buy things for us at school...just means we don't tell them some gifts are from Santa. We are completely selfish and want all the credit!! LOLOL

#43 mom2maddynsky27  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 18, 2008 - 5:54 am

You know, even as an adult, I still tear-up when I see Santa at stores.
I get emotional when I see my kids sitting on his lap, telling him their wishes.

What's wrong with letting them believe? We know it's a state-of-mind -- giving to those in need, "granting" wishes, loving those around you. But if they can enjoy and believe in the magic of that side of Christmas, I say why not.
Kids grow up too fast now, and I want for them to enjoy some magic while they're still young enough to believe.
I don't remember how old I was when I discovered the truth (by sneaking peeks in my parents' closet and finding my "Santa Gift")...maybe 8-9?? But even after that, I still believed in it to an extent. I figured that Santa needed to help other kids from families that couldn't afford what we could.



this is exactly how i feel. to each their own on how they feel and what they do in their house. :D there is not right or wrong answer.

#44 tntsmomie  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 18, 2008 - 10:50 am

Doesn't mean we don't put out cute Santas or my kids don't go to Santa's store to buy things for us at school...



When I was 5, we went to Santa's Store at school. My mother had given me a set amount of money, I think it was $20. I had to buy gifts for everyone.
Of course, being 5, I bought my mother the most wonderful stuffed pony, hoping she'd give it to me. When i got home and had to show her what I bought, I got into trouble! I had to return everything I bought and she helped me pick out things FOR my family members, not for myself. I still remember how much I loved that pony. I was SO sad when I had to return it! :( :)

#45 gr8girls  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 21, 2008 - 9:15 pm

I'm the same way. When my ds was 8 he had a friend of mine for his teacher. One day right before they got out for Christmas break my friend called and told me some children in her class were trying to tell my son there was no Santa Claus. She laughed as she told me my son's reply--- "I know there is... there is NO WAY my parents could afford what Santa brings me."

DS is now 15, and understands Santa's budget a little better now, but he also understands that the day he tells me that he no longer "believes" is the year that he starts getting socks and underwear...lol.

Oh my gosh...my dd siad the exact same thing about us not being able to afford ALL of those gifts! Too hysterical! She is 12 now and says she still believes, even though EVERYONE she knows says differently. I think she just won't admit it because she's afraid if she says she doesn't believe, she won't get any gifts! lol
The gifts you buy this year may not be remembered next year....but the memories you create together will be remembered a lifetime!. :gdhug1:

#46 jarerice  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 21, 2008 - 10:37 pm

When I was 5, we went to Santa's Store at school. My mother had given me a set amount of money, I think it was $20. I had to buy gifts for everyone.
Of course, being 5, I bought my mother the most wonderful stuffed pony, hoping she'd give it to me. When i got home and had to show her what I bought, I got into trouble! I had to return everything I bought and she helped me pick out things FOR my family members, not for myself. I still remember how much I loved that pony. I was SO sad when I had to return it! :( :)


My son's has done this same thing. He also got into trouble.




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