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Holiday Blues - Does your DH do this??


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#1 jerseygirl  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 11:59 am

:mad: love hime dearly, but it seems almost every Holiday he gets in a pissy mood over 'something' and is in a fowl mood for the few days up to the Holiday. Even his birthday! So, here we are, since yesterday & all he'll say "I'm just in a bad mood. You do too" {PMSing he's referring to) Not mean, just pissy & not happy. Anyone else???
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#2 dealluvr  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 12:09 pm

i'm like that around special events such as this cant get in the mood and i am p o' d at the world. especially around christmas cause i have to get my own presents wrap my presents only to have to open the ones i wrapped for myself on christmas morning ugh! i am in jersey too must have something to do with the water or something! LOL

#3 deanabrown  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 12:21 pm

Alot of people get upset around the Holidays because they really can't afford to get gifts, but there is all this pressure for them to do so. They put themselves into debt, running up credit cards which they know they can't pay off. Kind of sad.

#4 dealluvr  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 12:23 pm

i got my sis some stuff that i sent her every time i send her stuff there is always something she doesnt like and laughs at me for thinking of getting whatever gift it was. i adopted a family this year i felt good about that

#5 jenant06  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 12:29 pm

Oh, I am going through the same thing. Our daughter is grounded and I it was said that Christmas would be taken away. It is breaking my heart to not give her anything. I thought of things she NEEDED and not wanted. Wlel now my dh & I are barely talking since for him it is all or nothing. There is no in between. Again, I am so torn, I was upset last night and he I told him I didn't want to talk about not wanting to tick him off more then he already has been, but he knew what was wrong before asking me. I told him forget I don't want to argue. His reposne there is no arguement nothing for her for X-mas and that she is to stay in her room. duaghter has been goofing off in school and started lying that she had no work when she really did. Any advise. DH is so stubborn and thick headed, I already told him I was thinking of doing overtime at work since we are open that day, cause I can't see how I can get through the day seeing her torn up and myself torn up. We have a 6 year old also. Please anyone with advise or words of wisdom, I am desperate here. Thanks:confused:

#6 nikkilugi  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 1:46 pm

Oh, I am going through the same thing. Our daughter is grounded and I it was said that Christmas would be taken away. It is breaking my heart to not give her anything. I thought of things she NEEDED and not wanted. Wlel now my dh & I are barely talking since for him it is all or nothing. There is no in between. Again, I am so torn, I was upset last night and he I told him I didn't want to talk about not wanting to tick him off more then he already has been, but he knew what was wrong before asking me. I told him forget I don't want to argue. His reposne there is no arguement nothing for her for X-mas and that she is to stay in her room. duaghter has been goofing off in school and started lying that she had no work when she really did. Any advise. DH is so stubborn and thick headed, I already told him I was thinking of doing overtime at work since we are open that day, cause I can't see how I can get through the day seeing her torn up and myself torn up. We have a 6 year old also. Please anyone with advise or words of wisdom, I am desperate here. Thanks:confused:



I think it has been said on another thread by someone but Christmas to me is about the holiday and appreciating the people you love. I don't personally think it is about punishments. You have 364 other days of the year to punish your daughter - why pick such a wonderful day as Christmas to do it. You could always give her the gifts and then "ground" her from them, LOL.

Goofing off in school and not doing their homework is wrong but personally I don't think it is enough for me to not celebrate the holiday with my kids. JMHO.

#7 Illinoismom  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 2:06 pm

Oh, I am going through the same thing. Our daughter is grounded and I it was said that Christmas would be taken away. It is breaking my heart to not give her anything. I thought of things she NEEDED and not wanted. Wlel now my dh & I are barely talking since for him it is all or nothing. There is no in between. Again, I am so torn, I was upset last night and he I told him I didn't want to talk about not wanting to tick him off more then he already has been, but he knew what was wrong before asking me. I told him forget I don't want to argue. His reposne there is no arguement nothing for her for X-mas and that she is to stay in her room. duaghter has been goofing off in school and started lying that she had no work when she really did. Any advise. DH is so stubborn and thick headed, I already told him I was thinking of doing overtime at work since we are open that day, cause I can't see how I can get through the day seeing her torn up and myself torn up. We have a 6 year old also. Please anyone with advise or words of wisdom, I am desperate here. Thanks:confused:


To confused,

If you want your child to dilike you, and your other child and grow into a young person full of resentment then go right ahead and take away Christms. That to me is cruel and unusale punishment, even prisoners in prison get Christmas,

#8 elena_398  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 3:10 pm

This is my DH's first christmas without his father (he passed away this past January), so hes not in the spirit like he usually is.

#9 kim_r4  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 3:34 pm

I think a husband would get over not getting his way LONG before a child would get over not having Christmas.

#10 Xfeg  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 3:38 pm

I do this. I always get really depressed around christmas. I try to keep myself busy to avoid it. I dont think that there is anything that you can do to help him if hes like me. Maybe fill him up with candy!

#11 booga12345  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 3:51 pm

I think a husband would get over not getting his way LONG before a child would get over not having Christmas.


I agree. There are 364 days for punishment, but only one day for Christmas! Good luck to you!

#12 kim_r4  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 5:47 pm

Oh, I am going through the same thing. Our daughter is grounded and I it was said that Christmas would be taken away. It is breaking my heart to not give her anything. I thought of things she NEEDED and not wanted. Wlel now my dh & I are barely talking since for him it is all or nothing. There is no in between. Again, I am so torn, I was upset last night and he I told him I didn't want to talk about not wanting to tick him off more then he already has been, but he knew what was wrong before asking me. I told him forget I don't want to argue. His reposne there is no arguement nothing for her for X-mas and that she is to stay in her room. duaghter has been goofing off in school and started lying that she had no work when she really did. Any advise. DH is so stubborn and thick headed, I already told him I was thinking of doing overtime at work since we are open that day, cause I can't see how I can get through the day seeing her torn up and myself torn up. We have a 6 year old also. Please anyone with advise or words of wisdom, I am desperate here. Thanks:confused:

Have your daughter make something for your husband. She could draw a picture, write a story, or make fudge or something. Then tell your husband that your daughter has something special for him. Will that soften him up a little? He would probably feel awful on Christmas morning opening up a present from her and not letting her have any presents.

#13 kbasketcr8r  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 5:56 pm

Oh, I am going through the same thing. Our daughter is grounded and I it was said that Christmas would be taken away. It is breaking my heart to not give her anything. I thought of things she NEEDED and not wanted. Wlel now my dh & I are barely talking since for him it is all or nothing. There is no in between. Again, I am so torn, I was upset last night and he I told him I didn't want to talk about not wanting to tick him off more then he already has been, but he knew what was wrong before asking me. I told him forget I don't want to argue. His reposne there is no arguement nothing for her for X-mas and that she is to stay in her room. duaghter has been goofing off in school and started lying that she had no work when she really did. Any advise. DH is so stubborn and thick headed, I already told him I was thinking of doing overtime at work since we are open that day, cause I can't see how I can get through the day seeing her torn up and myself torn up. We have a 6 year old also. Please anyone with advise or words of wisdom, I am desperate here. Thanks:confused:


Wow! That is way harsh. Taking away Christmas for goofing off in school? All teenagers go through that. That is the wrong thing to do, in my opinion. It will also ruin the 6 year old's Christmas. Punishment for goofing off in school can be given after Christmas.

#14 Scanner420  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 6:34 pm

Wow! That is way harsh. Taking away Christmas for goofing off in school? All teenagers go through that. That is the wrong thing to do, in my opinion. It will also ruin the 6 year old's Christmas. Punishment for goofing off in school can be given after Christmas.


I'm guessing I don't need to answer since most of you are giving away my replies already....why stress it again??


As for the OP.....there's alot of people who suffer a depressing period during the holiday's for various reasons. If it's something recouring with each holiday, then you might need to talk with a doctor about it.

#15 jenant06  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 8:27 pm

Well tonight we talked and we are all going to have a wonderful Christmas. She can open her presents but the FUN ones she is going tohave to earn by not lying, pulling grades up and stop being so darn sneaky. hubby was pretty receptive to my thought. thank you for your comments. I everyone has a wonderful Holiday. And yes Candy is a way to his heart. lol

#16 kbasketcr8r  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 8:49 pm

Well tonight we talked and we are all going to have a wonderful Christmas. She can open her presents but the FUN ones she is going tohave to earn by not lying, pulling grades up and stop being so darn sneaky. hubby was pretty receptive to my thought. thank you for your comments. I everyone has a wonderful Holiday. And yes Candy is a way to his heart. lol


That makes me happy- you will probably get a much better result with her behavior now. The other would have just caused resentment, and ruined everyone's Christmas, not just hers. Glad hubby relented.

#17 christib327  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 8:52 pm

I do this. I always get really depressed around christmas. I try to keep myself busy to avoid it. I dont think that there is anything that you can do to help him if hes like me.



I'm like this as well. The whole season is really stressful for me. I try every year not to let it get to me, but it always does. I think it all started being like this for me when my brother passed away on Christmas Eve 10 years ago this year.

#18 pampam  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 22, 2007 - 11:13 pm

Christmas is a time for memories and when we lose a loved one it can be upsetting to realize that things will never be quite the way they were. When my husband passed away nine years ago Christmas ceased to be a special day. He was my last surviving family member. There are no more warm fuzzy moments, no presents under the tree, no one here but me. The memories of how it used to be make me incredibly sad. Thankfully I have friends who have me over for Christmas dinner every year. It's always fun and gives me something to look forward to.

#19 dmmiller  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 2:58 am

I know what you all mean ... everything is brought up to this "perfect, hallmark" type of christmas that everyone is suppose to have. But its not like that in a lot of homes. Watching it on tv (movies/sitcoms) and them talking about it on the news, etc. can leave someone with a voided feeling. Like they're not doing something, or they're lives are not what the norm is. I hope I"m making sense. I feel this way when we are not with our family and every couple years, its just me and the kids, cuz DH is working. Its Just like a normal day, nothing special, so reason to go out an decorate much and make 9 million cookies. Hopefully he'll snap into the mood in the next day or so. :)

#20 goofyfan  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 3:03 am

I thought I was the only one that had to buy and wrap my own gifts. Makes me feel better to know that I won't be the only person on Christmas morning not opening a surprise. Merry Christmas everyone :)

#21 justjessie99  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 4:42 am

:mad: love Hume dearly, but it seems almost every Holiday he gets in a pissy mood over 'something' and is in a fowl mood for the few days up to the Holiday. Even his birthday! So, here we are, since yesterday & all he'll say "I'm just in a bad mood. You do too" {PMSing he's referring to) Not mean, just pissy & not happy.

Anyone else???


Oh I feel for you, but I'm in the same boat!!!!

NORMALLY my husband isn't, but this year WOW look out!

Hubby has worked at the hospital for 8 years(and alwasy had the holidays off), this Spring he switched to 3rd shift. (so I can start working again)....well he wasn't able to get the Holidays off... which I am pissed about.. but I'm not letting it effect me:(. However the man I married...I don't want to refer to him as hubby right now:mad:....LOL.. is sulking and pissy..OMG. He is so aggravating me about it!!

He is pouting and moping around saying this Christmas is just another day to him.... he has no reason to be happy cause he can't enjoy it... I so wish I wasn't married right now!! UGH
I told him I understand he is upset and pissy, but he BETTER NOT display that behavior around the boys and ruin their Christmas. So instead he does in to me... UGH!!
At this point I kinda wish the holidays were over.:( but I have to go through this next week with New Years too!!!!!...Someone shoot me now!:no:

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#22 doublehsmom  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 5:01 am

my dh is always grouchy at this time and I told him that I love the holidays and if this is the way that hes going to be then he can just stay home..not that I don't want to be with him on christmas but I want my kids to enjoy it and I want to and so far KNOCK ON WOOD..hes been good we had x mas last night and 2 today and 1 tomorrow and 3 tues..so we will see how long this last..

#23 shanni  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 5:13 am

I am like a little kid during christmas, I sing songs all the time. I'm always smiling and happy, I think some people find it annoying:tongue1: I do however miss my mother the most during this time of the year, she died when I was 21. This was her favorite time of the year, she was really big on decorating, and Christmas music, family events etc etc, and I have passed that on to my kids:)

My husband told me the 32 gifts I bought for family members (that cost $75.00 for ALL of them) would effect his retirement, he is 38!! I told him if $75 is going to effect his retirement he might want to rebalance his 401K!! He then told me I don't work this hard to buy other people s***, I work this hard to buy you s***:shock:

He is pouting and moping around saying this Christmas is just another day to him.... he has no reason to be happy cause he can't enjoy it


Tell him you're sorry he feels this way, then tell him to knock it off, there is no reason to ruin your Christmas!

#24 jerseygirl  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 5:47 am

He has a great job, he's off fr:Christmas til New Years. Both his parents & all his siblings are alive. He has to visit his MIL&FIL (my parents) on the 27th for a few days. That could be putting a damper on things, but come on! We have to go :tongue1: I just don't get it.... on to day 3 of pissy
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#25 jarerice  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 6:18 am

Mine does every year. He freaks out b/c of the money we spent.

#26 Scanner420  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 6:24 am

Invest in some Valarian Root or Kava Kava and sneak it in his coffee...it won't perk him up or make him Mr Merry Sunshine, but it will calm his current mood. Either that or give him $75.00 in ones and send him to the strip bar with your blessing...if that doesn't put a smile on his face...nothing will. Let's see....... Meds Doctor Strip Bar Ok......I'm out of ideas. :beer:

#27 jenant06  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 6:38 am

Invest in some Valarian Root or Kava Kava and sneak it in his coffee...it won't perk him up or make him Mr Merry Sunshine, but it will calm his current mood. Either that or give him $75.00 in ones and send him to the strip bar with your blessing...if that doesn't put a smile on his face...nothing will.

Let's see.......

Meds
Doctor
Strip Bar


Ok......I'm out of ideas.


:smart: Those ae very good ideas. Just think if we gave our dh's $75.00 in one dollar bills how happy they would be when they returned home from the strip bar. I would give that blessing anyday. LOL

With all of this said in the posts and how our hubby's can get, I really hope that ech and everyone of you have a wonderful safe and happy holiday!!!

#28 Scanner420  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 11:58 am

You can also get a can of roach spray to kill the proverbial bug that's shoved in his @ss!! Maybe he'll get the hint.

#29 leefamily23  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 23, 2007 - 2:33 pm

Ahhhh......I'm sorry to anyone who has to go through this. I've lived for 3 years w/ a "pissy, moody, depressed" husband. Only in his case- it was true clinical depression he refused to get treatment for. This will be the first holiday ever we're not going all out w/ gifts for each other. Money was tight this year and we're only doing stockings w/ each other. BUT....I got the greatest gift of all-- I have a husband who is back to the man I married and fell in love with. So, nope, no grouchy, crabby man here---- but I've been there for too many, long, lonely day's- so I send you a big MERRY CHRISTMAS!

#30 fluffkin79  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 24, 2007 - 12:12 pm

We already opened our gifts. As the kids were opening, Dh was telling them that for every new gift they had to get rid of an old one. I have already gotten rid of the ones we don't need, so we are talking about stuff they love. Well, now I know the secret. He quieted right down when he opened his gift and found something he was excited about! Now, what do I get him next year?




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