Grassy Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Hi Everyone, This is my FIRST thread I'm starting because I have this problem every year. (Well, actually a few times throughout the year for various occasions, but just came across it again this morning while doing Christmas Cards). I do not call my Mother and Father in law "mom and dad", I call them by their first names. My husband and I have been married 10 years now, we are fairly close, but I've never flet right, so seen reason to call them Mom and Dad. So when I fill out their christmas card, I want to write in their first names, but I also know it is from their son, and to get a card from their son that does not say mom and dad might be strange for them. Once in a while, I've had my husband fill out that one card, so that it is ok to have it say "mom and dad" if it's in HIS handwriting...But sometimes I sit there, filling out the cards, and he is not home and I just want to "get it all done" and not wait for him... What do any of you do in this situation...just put their names since they know I'm the one doing it? THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hwolf6330 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 No, I would just put Mom and Dad no matter who writes out the card. I always called my in-laws Mom and Dad, it felt weird at first but they are my second parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrabbler Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Either let him do it or write their names. I have never called my inlaws Mom or Dad and this year we have been married 23 years. I do not get them a Mom and Dad card tho...I just get a nice card and when I address the outside, I write their names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeky94 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Are you mailing the card or hand-delivering it? If hand-delivering, will there be other people around at that time that you'll also be giving cards to? If you normally write the name of the person who's getting the card somewhere inside the card, I think they'd appreciate and enjoy the card just as much if you wrote a short note at the bottom instead, a thank you or something else that lets them know you thought of them personally when preparing the card (example: "Your love and support mean so much-- thank you for being wonderful parents and parents-in-law! Merry Christmas! Love, Jack & Jill"). If mailing, you'll be using their names on the outside of the envelope, so no "mom and dad" needed there. If delivering in person, you wouldn't even have to write anything on the outside of the envelope. Just hand it directly to one of them with a warm smile and a "Merry Christmas!" If there will be others around and other cards being exchanged, just give it to them earlier... or "forget" to bring it with the other cards and promise to go get it as soon as possible. I've been in this situation before, with parents of a long-term boyfriend several yrs ago and was fortunate enough to be able to hand it to them when no other cards were being exchanged. But really, I think you should consider talking to one or both of them first, explaining your awkwardness with the whole name vs. mom and dad thing, and see what they'd prefer. They may have no idea you stuggle with this and may be fine with whatever you do or don't write! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shopping mom Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I call my inlaws by thier first names too but I never thought about the card writing I think I just use their names, they know DH would never shop for or send a card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conj Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 it's the thought that counts... don't sweat it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerkynPunctual Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I personally would not use any names inside the card. But I make hubby do that card anyway, and he doesn't write any names in it either. And the outside of the envelope is address formally to be mailed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grassy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 I call my inlaws by thier first names too but I never thought about the card writing I think I just use their names, they know DH would never shop for or send a card.That's what I thought..... He NEVER did cards before, so obviously they know it is technically coming more from me than him, and they would never expect ME to write mom or dad, so I guess I'll stick with writing their names...since that's what I call them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandy Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I personally would not use any names inside the card. But I make hubby do that card anyway, and he doesn't write any names in it either. And the outside of the envelope is address formally to be mailed.DH normally picks out the card for his mom and signs it. I just mail it. Or he just signs it. and I only put the name on the outside to mail it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grassy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 Are you mailing the card or hand-delivering it? If hand-delivering, will there be other people around at that time that you'll also be giving cards to? If you normally write the name of the person who's getting the card somewhere inside the card, I think they'd appreciate and enjoy the card just as much if you wrote a short note at the bottom instead, a thank you or something else that lets them know you thought of them personally when preparing the card (example: "Your love and support mean so much-- thank you for being wonderful parents and parents-in-law! Merry Christmas! Love, Jack & Jill"). If mailing, you'll be using their names on the outside of the envelope, so no "mom and dad" needed there. If delivering in person, you wouldn't even have to write anything on the outside of the envelope. Just hand it directly to one of them with a warm smile and a "Merry Christmas!" If there will be others around and other cards being exchanged, just give it to them earlier... or "forget" to bring it with the other cards and promise to go get it as soon as possible. I've been in this situation before, with parents of a long-term boyfriend several yrs ago and was fortunate enough to be able to hand it to them when no other cards were being exchanged. But really, I think you should consider talking to one or both of them first, explaining your awkwardness with the whole name vs. mom and dad thing, and see what they'd prefer. They may have no idea you stuggle with this and may be fine with whatever you do or don't write! :)I'll be hand-delivering this time... So yes...I could just write a big Merry Christmas on the front, and I think I'll just go ahead with their first names inside, since they know I'm the one actually doing/giving the card---not my husband. You are right about the mailing part, I'd have to use their names on the envelope anyway, but since I'm hand-delivering, I guess that's what made me stop and think more of it this time around... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissy72 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 When DH and I were first married I felt awkward calling my inlaws Mom and Dad... I already have a mom and dad. I once called my MIL Joyce.... If looks could kill. Every since then I try to avoid calling them anything. When I am in a situation where I can't get around it I do call them mom and dad... but I cringe inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerkynPunctual Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 When DH and I were first married I felt awkward calling my inlaws Mom and Dad... I already have a mom and dad. I once called my MIL Joyce.... If looks could kill. Every since then I try to avoid calling them anything. When I am in a situation where I can't get around it I do call them mom and dad... but I cringe inside.I can relate. My hubby and I met in high school, and his parents were addressed as Mr. and Mrs. **insert last name**. I would never insult my parents by calling someone else Mom and Dad, and to be honest it never came up. As time passed and we *grew up* and got married, my parents asked my husband to call them by their first names (he called my dad Sir and my mom Mrs. **insert last name**), but his parents never requested or offered an alternative. So they will always be Mr. and Mrs.**insert last name** to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAnderson Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I think that if you are use to calling them by there names and not mom and dad you should use there names in the card. They know that you call them by there names rather then by mom and dad and why would you change that just becuase you are writing out christmas cards? Besides that we all know that when it comes to cards it is usually the wife that puts them together and not the husband. Just my two cents worth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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