nikkilugi Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Here is my situation. My SIL got remarried a couple of years ago. At the time she and my dh were in a big fight with each other and they weren't talking so we weren't invited to the wedding (we think they got married in Vegas anyway) and hadn't ever met his kids. Well my dh and his sister have patched things up (as best they can anyway) and we see them sometimes now. Mike (SIL's new hubby) has 2 kids. SIL has 2 kids as well (about the same age as Mike's). We really don't know Mike's kids very well - the daughter Mikayla does come over when Lori and Mike do because she likes to play with our dd. She doesn't ever really interact with us unless I directly talk to her - then you can tell she is uncomfortable, LOL, so I don't bother her much. The boy Nick has only come over once and didn't say 2 words to either dh or I. I'm not sure what to do about presents. We barely talk to them and don't really know them. Chances are on the holiday celebrations they are at their Mom's house anyway. I don't want them to feel bad but then again I don't really have the $$ to add them into the mix, especially when I don't even know them. What would everyone else do?
pastasalad Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 Are you and your sister close? I would visit with her and see how she feels- If it were me I would get them a small gift,nothing extravagant but someting simple and that could make them feel welcomed into this new family they just inherited. Or you could buy them a DVD as a joint gift for the both of them. Just a thought.
conj Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 how old are they? given all the great deals here, we could probably find you something cheap (or free) to include them in the family. The kids did not make the decision to merge families. They did not participate in the fight between their step mom and her brother... they are not responsible for any of it. Please do not take it out on them. Holidays are about families, and togetherness and inclusion... if you can, include them.
nikkilugi Posted October 24, 2007 Author Posted October 24, 2007 I think we are going to do a kid's drawing where each kids draws another's name and gives a gift to them only. My dh thought this idea up - I'm not so hot on it because I like shopping and giving gifts to everyone but with the additional 2 kids on Lori's side (they are like 11 and 15 I think) it will make it more manageable $$wise. The other thing about that idea that bugs me is that more than likely a sibling will get another's name since there are our 3 kids and the 4 of dh's sister.
tiredmom214 Posted October 24, 2007 Posted October 24, 2007 I think we are going to do a kid's drawing where each kids draws another's name and gives a gift to them only. My dh thought this idea up - I'm not so hot on it because I like shopping and giving gifts to everyone but with the additional 2 kids on Lori's side (they are like 11 and 15 I think) it will make it more manageable $$wise. The other thing about that idea that bugs me is that more than likely a sibling will get another's name since there are our 3 kids and the 4 of dh's sister.I think that is a great idea!!! As far as siblings buying gifts for each other I think that will be good. Just think, they definitely know what the other will like. :) All in all if you want to still give gifts to everyone, maybe ya'll could all have some kind of cookie sway (these are allways fun) or you and you kids could just make some cookies or presents for everyone in the family. That way you are still getting to enjoy the joy of giving, without hurting your pocketbook.
vsa3janes Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I think we are going to do a kid's drawing where each kids draws another's name and gives a gift to them only. My dh thought this idea up - I'm not so hot on it because I like shopping and giving gifts to everyone but with the additional 2 kids on Lori's side (they are like 11 and 15 I think) it will make it more manageable $$wise. The other thing about that idea that bugs me is that more than likely a sibling will get another's name since there are our 3 kids and the 4 of dh's sister.I like giving a gift to everyone as well. I have protested my SIL trying to pursuade us to picking names forever. I only have 5 nieces and nephews so getting them each something is a joy for me. You could always give them gift certificates wrapped up in a fun way. Kids love to shop for themselves at that age.
jarerice Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I would get them something, so they would not feel left out. It has to weird for them as well. I would just get them a giftcard apiece for 10.00 or 15.00, maybe a visa one, so they could goto any store and buy what they wanted. Or a mall one, so they could goto any store there and buy what they wanted.
jbdinos Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I think we are going to do a kid's drawing where each kids draws another's name and gives a gift to them only. My dh thought this idea up - I'm not so hot on it because I like shopping and giving gifts to everyone but with the additional 2 kids on Lori's side (they are like 11 and 15 I think) it will make it more manageable $$wise. The other thing about that idea that bugs me is that more than likely a sibling will get another's name since there are our 3 kids and the 4 of dh's sister.We do this on DH's father's side. But the adults all draw an adult name and cannot have their spouse or they have to put it back. The kids all draw a kids name and cannot get their sibling. Of course that isn't going to be possible for you all with a 4/3 split. We have 4 kids, my oldest DD has 2 (well there will be 2 at Christmas), SIL has 2, BIL has 3, and FIL still has 2 under age 16 at home as well so it's easy to not get a sibling for us and way too expensive to buy for all of them as well. We do a $10.00 on kid limit and a $20.00 on adult limit. The kids might actually enjoy it too.... you can always agree to try it one year and if it doesn't work out give it up next year. Another idea might be that they each draw a name and say you want the limit to be 15.00. Well maybe they buy the person they drew a 10.00-12.00 gift and then they have to buy a universal gift of some sort for 3-5 dollars and do the white elephant gift exchange or some other fun game if they are all the right age so they have a good time and maybe all the kids will get to know each other a little bit better too?
leefamily23 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Tough call- because my son barely see's my husband's family (my son is from my ex). Though on the holiday's they treat him equal to the other kids there (he's the only step child). It's hard to alienate kids, so I don't think I could do that.
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