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First Christmas As Empty Nesters


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#1 leefamily23  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 14, 2013 - 7:35 pm

This has been on my mind a lot lately.  DS (almost 21) moved out this past spring and this will might be the first Christmas morning with just dh and I.  Right up through last year, I still made a big deal out of getting DH & DS up on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought while we just spent time as a family.  Even typing this, I'm starting to tear up (ugh).  

 

Anyhow, I don't want to push but there is a small part of me that is hoping he will still come stay the night Christmas Eve.  I need to prepare a Plan B though so that I have something to look forward to.  He's growing up and I still want to enjoy the holidays and not just be depressed through them.  Anyhow, for those who have traveled down this road already was there anything you did to make the morning extra special instead of feeling sad?

 

 



#2 Elmck  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 14, 2013 - 8:13 pm

I hope plan A works for you. But if not I think you have the right attitude in looking for ways to make it special. Maybe you can find someone else who has an empty nest this year and have Christmas breakfast together or take gifts to a nursing home or hospital that morning.

 

Sometimes lately I have been watching the old home videos of when my older kids were little and wishing the years had not flown by so fast. I am sure you will get lots of great suggestions on here too!!

 

Hugs (((( ))))) 



#3 chrisjuvers  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 15, 2013 - 1:25 pm

We have Christmas breakfast at our house around 10. Its a pain for those with little one's but your family comes as they are. In pajamas or sweats, no judging just eating!. Its a tradition that my Gma started and since she passed away it is now at my house. Keep it going at your house and make sure DS knows he's expected to come this year and in 5 years when he has little one's & is married. Invite your friends for brunch and the neighbors over for breakfast. Good luck!



#4 Gator Pam  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 15, 2013 - 5:17 pm

I can't imagine a just moved out child, no matter what the age, not arranging to spend the holidays with their parents.  Did he celebrate other holidays with you since he moved?  Independence Day, or any other?

 

Unless he is seeing someone, and chooses to spend the holidays with their family.  Surely any friends he would hang out with will be with their own families over the holidays...



#5 Elmck  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 15, 2013 - 7:05 pm

We have Christmas breakfast at our house around 10. Its a pain for those with little one's but your family comes as they are. In pajamas or sweats, no judging just eating!. Its a tradition that my Gma started and since she passed away it is now at my house. Keep it going at your house and make sure DS knows he's expected to come this year and in 5 years when he has little one's & is married. Invite your friends for brunch and the neighbors over for breakfast. Good luck!

We do Christmas breakfast too! 



#6 hillbillyswife  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 16, 2013 - 2:37 am

When my oldest moved out a couple of months before Christmas , she did come back and spend the night Christmas Eve (plus she brought her friends they had no where to go).  Last year we set up a time for her to come over and do Christmas so we still spent time together.

 

My sister's kids all come over Christmas morning for breakfast and gifts :)



#7 Cinnamonhuskies  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 17, 2013 - 2:25 am

I am almost to this stage...my oldest son is married with a family of his own now, and youngest son is in college but still at home...but it's just a matter of time....

Anyway this is the time for dh and I and our relationship not revolving around the kids. Include your husband in your planning and see what he wants to do. Some day we will just go to the tropics for the holiday and skip a michigan Christmas and send the kids gift and a postcard!!!


In memory of Cinnamon 1998-2010 and Myka 2001-2015

 

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#8 magickallight  ONLINE  

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Posted Oct 18, 2013 - 7:19 am

I am soon to be in the same boat as you... my youngest will graduate High School in January - so not sure what next year will bring. My husbands kids live far away, but my 2 oldest, 31 & 28 bring their kids over on Christmas Eve each year and we either have brunch or an early dinner, then open presents and play family Christmas Trivia and Bingo for goofy prizes for the winners. We have a blast, and they get their kids home in plenty of time to watch a Christmas movie and get ready for Santa to arrive. It will be different when none of them are here on Christmas morning... I am dreading it. :(  But imagine hubby and I will still have my mom over to open gifts on Christmas morning and have a special breakfast together and then later a special Christmas dinner... it won't be the same - but I will always do the "Stockings" and special gifts from Santa - even if the kids are on their own.


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#9 tokanm  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 19, 2013 - 6:20 pm

I will be alone for the holidays this year, well except for my fur babies. DS is in grad school in London and will spend Christmas in Germany with g/f. My Dad, nephew and brother passed away in the last year. I plan on volunteering at a soup kitchen or the animal shelter. I think it will be good for me actually. I will miss buying gifts and finding bargains this year though
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine :shock:

#10 leefamily23  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 19, 2013 - 8:09 pm

I can't imagine a just moved out child, no matter what the age, not arranging to spend the holidays with their parents.  Did he celebrate other holidays with you since he moved?  Independence Day, or any other?

 

He moved out the week of Easter and still spent that with us (but it was all so new then, he was still calling every night then).  We don't normally spend 4th of July together so that wasn't out of the ordinary.  We've always spent Thanksgiving at my mom's house but this year he has a cousin (on his dad's side) that is getting married that weekend in Key West, so this will be the 1st Thanksgiving we don't spend together either.

 

I'm just not sure what he'll do.  Thing is I want him to have a happy holiday too so I will ask him but I won't guilt him.  I am thinking there is a good chance he'll still come because he will want to spend Christmas Eve at at our large family party and it will be quite the hike for him to go back home that late.  Plus, I'll have presents for the morning :-)!!!

 

I will be alone for the holidays this year, well except for my fur babies.

 

I actually have an "empty nest" dog now that has become my and dh's little universe.  I was looking for Christmas gifts for her today at PetCo :-).  



#11 Cinnamonhuskies  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 22, 2013 - 6:15 am

I was just telling dh I think I'll get a puppy!  (I have this cranky old dog that's 12 going on 100 and hasn't kicked the bucket yet. Not to sound mean, but he is getting crabbier and crotchier the older he gets.)


In memory of Cinnamon 1998-2010 and Myka 2001-2015

 

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#12 leefamily23  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 23, 2013 - 6:15 pm

I am still preparing for Plan B but he was here for dinner the other night and he gave me an opening when he made a comment about him already knowing what he was getting dh and I for Christmas this year.  That led me to be able to tell him that while I know he is on his own now but that I still want to make sure we are going to set up sometime over the holiday to see one another.  He acted shocked that I have any doubt that he's sleeping here Christmas Eve so he's here Christmas morning.  



#13 chrisjuvers  OFFLINE  

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Posted Oct 24, 2013 - 3:24 pm

I am still preparing for Plan B but he was here for dinner the other night and he gave me an opening when he made a comment about him already knowing what he was getting dh and I for Christmas this year.  That led me to be able to tell him that while I know he is on his own now but that I still want to make sure we are going to set up sometime over the holiday to see one another.  He acted shocked that I have any doubt that he's sleeping here Christmas Eve so he's here Christmas morning.  

Woo Hoo, congrats!



#14 peppysfireball  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 7, 2013 - 8:47 am

My kids always came back here to sleep until they got married or moved in with someone. I still have a 16 year old at home and he gets twice the presents as they do since he is so young. I still spend a lot on my other 2 and they always came here by 10 anyway to open their presents before going to my moms next door for dinner. 






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