72 replies to this topic

[stephdig]

he had no remorse for what he did didnt say sorry . was pretty much like oh well attitude. Im thinking as much as i honestly dont want to get him a thing. make the gift cards for 20.00 here and 20.00 there. then can buy his own clothes and not to places that have laptops as well. if he is that ungrateful then I dont want to help him with a laptop.
our girls are the complete opposite of him. so its not like im a terrible parent and dont kmow how to raise respectful children

[tinkrbel]

he had no remorse for what he did didnt say sorry . was pretty much like oh well attitude. Im thinking as much as i honestly dont want to get him a thing. make the gift cards for 20.00 here and 20.00 there.

My only issue with this would be IF you're spending full price on the gift cards.... I don't like to reward ungrateful gift recipients by spending MORE money on them.

 

In my case, I think it's probably personal, I could get them their favorite designer perfume and still they'd badmouth it somehow. Is it possible he is/was being spiteful because of something?

Edited by tinkrbel, Sep 1, 2013 - 8:10 am.

[bclvr61889]

he had no remorse for what he did didnt say sorry . was pretty much like oh well attitude. Im thinking as much as i honestly dont want to get him a thing. make the gift cards for 20.00 here and 20.00 there. then can buy his own clothes and not to places that have laptops as well. if he is that ungrateful then I dont want to help him with a laptop.
our girls are the complete opposite of him. so its not like im a terrible parent and dont kmow how to raise respectful children

You aren't a terrible parent! I think you are right on track with the gift cards here and there. My children both grown now are still excited to tear open the package no matter what it contains. Don't stress over this, and teach a lesson.

[stephdig]

he didnt like his high school. many kids in his grade are into partying drinking smoke sex etc. he isnt into that. he just transfered schools this year. he also seems annoyed that his sistee who is 14 has a bf and they have dated for almost a year now. she has many friends and he doesnt like them and has always disliked who she dated even though he never actually knew them. he didnt like that i drove her to movies and to do things with her friends and her bf. so idk if he is jealous of her but its not my fault she is busy and he isnt as busy as her.
either way its not ok calling me a b*tch his dad a a*s and fsmily morons and treat us badly.

[biomajor]

I dont know just yet what my girls (11 & 5) want. Of course the oldest will be the problem lol. I do know that I will get them Loving Family Dollhouse with all the extras as their big combined gift, but other than that I am stomped

 

I don't want to be a pain, but unless your 11 year old is a special child or you have more than one 5 year old, then I think she will be way too old to play with the dollhouse.  My niece is 11 and hasn't touched hers for about 2 years.  If I were the 11 year old and my big gift was a dollhouse that I wasn't interested in playing with, I would be very hurt.   

[jaymacfla]

Im really struggling with what to get our son who is 17 here is WHY... last xmas he got what he wanted basiclly...a new smartphone,jordan clothing,3 pair jeans from aero, xbox game and many other pricy items.
sadly he went on twitter and complained about what he got from us and santa. said he only needed 2pair jeans not 3. said he got better gifts from other family memebers :'( .
he wants a laptop and I wont get him that. I think best thing is give him gift cards for places like for clothes. part me also wants spend less on him becuz he clearly did t appreciate what he got from us.
my husband his dad just found out and didnt say much i think he was shocked.
does it make me a bad parent to spend less on him this year. after he calls his FAMILY morons and is ungratful during holidays ?

There are quite a few things that can be done from your vantage point. You could always donate in his name to some of your favorite charities, especially to underpriviledged kids. Leave one small gift of a pair of jeans under the tree as your gesture of still caring.

[tinkrbel]

either way its not ok calling me a b*tch his dad a a*s and fsmily morons and treat us badly.

DEFINITELY...I was just wondering if maybe there was something specific which may have caused the outburst. Sounds like he's just generally unhappy and taking it out on you guys which is not right.

[stephdig]

nothing that we are aware of. I suppose it could be said its jealousy and friend issues but we always asked him what was going on and things like that.

i guess even though he is happier now then before doesnt change what was said.especially with no apology. with as much as he bad mouthed his family i need him to learn a lesson.

[cln06]

Right now I have no ideas at all for DD11. She is at that in between age. She like some toys but then gets bored with them and they sit unused. But not old enough to load up with makeup and gift cards. I guess I will have to wait until she sees something that catches her eye on tv or in a store circular.

[tinkrbel]

Right now I have no ideas at all for DD11. She is at that in between age.

Is she crafty? maybe she'd like some sort of make it yourself kit she can use to make stuff for herself/friends? I know they have tons of stuff now but I'm stuck at friendship bracelet kits.

[cln06]

Is she crafty? maybe she'd like some sort of make it yourself kit she can use to make stuff for herself/friends? I know they have tons of stuff now but I'm stuck at friendship bracelet kits.

Yes she loves making things with duct tape. Lol. I will look around at some of the kits for bracelets I'm sure she would like those. Thx

[pogiporkchop]

With duct tape coming in all kinds of patterns, etc. now you could put together a kit of your own too with a variety of tapes and whatever extras might be needed to make things she likes to make. I think I will be putting together a craft kit for my DD as one of her gifts; over the summer she got a small table where she keeps all of her supplies now.

[tinkrbel]

they should have some patterned duct tape in target after school clearance soon.

[monster2369]

I have three teens that are owners of enough stuff.We will be on cruise this year so I am only pre-ordering my PS4 now to pick up after cruise. They will want clothes. So grateful that I don't have to buy toys any longer.

Edited by monster2369, Sep 5, 2013 - 10:25 am.

[goshe7]

There are quite a few things that can be done from your vantage point. You could always donate in his name to some of your favorite charities, especially to underpriviledged kids. Leave one small gift of a pair of jeans under the tree as your gesture of still caring.

Because an ungrateful 17-year-old would surely see the error of his ways and learn to appreciate what he did receive...

 

I say these are GIFTS.  So give whatever you feel is appropriate.  I see no reason to worry about the $ amounts.  Is it too much?  Too little?  Is it more than X spent on Y?  Doesn't matter.  Give what you want, not what you feel others expect or feel they deserve.  Those are entitlements, not gifts.

 

Of course, I would say try to look at the comments objectively.  Were they part of a discussion where all the kids were complaining about what they received?  I would expect that the number of teenagers that can comfortably express appreciation and recognition of parents in a social setting of their peers is remarkably few, particularly compared to the number I would expect to complain about parents.  If you are expecting your kid to go bragging to his friends about what great parents he has and how lucky he is to have you, I think you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

[stephdig]

i dont exspect them to brag about things but i do exspect it to be appreciated whatrver it is they get cuz its the thought rhat counts. my other kids one of which is 14 is very appreciative of anything recieved.
the other 2kids are 11 and 8 and are always appreciative abd very greatful for their gifts. the 3have all told him he is rude and mean and hurtful.
i think i will just go with a few gift cards maybe some small things like socks and tell him the reason why he got those things...rather then a bigger gift to open

[jaymacfla]

i dont exspect them to brag about things but i do exspect it to be appreciated whatrver it is they get cuz its the thought rhat counts. my other kids one of which is 14 is very appreciative of anything recieved.
the other 2kids are 11 and 8 and are always appreciative abd very greatful for their gifts. the 3have all told him he is rude and mean and hurtful.
i think i will just go with a few gift cards maybe some small things like socks and tell him the reason why he got those things...rather then a bigger gift to open

Perhaps you should seek counseling for him. It sounds like he may be in a bit of depression that could be out of your control to manage on your own. 

[amez74]

DS 22-no idea probably gift cards and closer to Christmas see what he needs

DD 14, DS 12, DD 10--we are shooting for IPads. That will probably be the only thing they get if we can swing one for each of them.

[miller205]

I have no idea what I am getting my kids (including my DH).  

 

I was going to get DS8 a Nintendo 3DS but when I asked him about it recently he was a little meh on the subject (he already has a iPhone4 which he uses as a touch, a regular DS that was his sisters, Xbox 360, and Wii so I guess he is techno'd out).  He had mentioned a tablet once but I think with the iPhone and my Kindle (which he uses more than me) it is not really necessary.  He has mentioned a TV for his room but his father and I really don't love the idea.  We will have to think on it.  Due to the location of his room and our Dish it is not super easy to hook him up with our existing Dish network either.

 

I had not heard about Skylanders Swap Force until this thread.  Sounds like a plan.  Maybe Disney Xfinity if the game goes on sale at a reasonable price. 

 

Older DDs are 23 and 19 so probably some GC's and they can pick out some clothing items they want or whatever.

[totallyBF]

Im thinking of purchasing my child one of those nabis tablets she keeps taking mine tablet away but we will see 

[bclvr61889]

Im thinking of purchasing my child one of those nabis tablets she keeps taking mine tablet away but we will see 

I bought one for my grandson last year and he absolutely loves it. Keeps him off the grownups equipment and it does everything the big people's does.

[starbeck96]

Im thinking of purchasing my child one of those nabis tablets she keeps taking mine tablet away but we will see 

My daughter got one for Christmas last year and she loves it.  My husband uses it a lot too since it has mommy/daddy mode. 

[deanabrown]

Legos is the big thing DS wants. Maybe a video game or some Disney Infinity stuff. No big ticket items this year.

[chrisjuvers]

My 4 DS's are all big ticket items this year. Larger TV's to split screen xbox when friends are over, ipad mini's & dre beats to replace the ones that we stepped on, lol.

[Dylansmommy]

I am assuming that your 17 yr old has been spoken to by you and hubby about this. I am truly sorry he hurt your feelings like that. Perhaps a large lump of coal in a laptop sized box and the gift cards, not enough to buy his laptop but just enough to tell him to earn the rest for it. Bless you.

Great advice!!  

[jewleyp]

I have to say that I have been blessed with a very grateful dd - she is 10.  She never really asks for anything.  However, when it comes to Christmas and her birthday that makes it miserable for me.... I make her watch every commercial and then watch her reaction...lol.  We still go to Toys R Us to make out a list in which I add stuff myself because its so short.... last year was the dreaded "Santa" unveiling.  Now she is convinced that everything is too expensive. (My dh was layed off mid year, but we have rebounded).  I am not big on the gift card thing right now...

 

I need ideas!!!!!    

[Bopeep]

I have to say that I have been blessed with a very grateful dd - she is 10.  She never really asks for anything.  However, when it comes to Christmas and her birthday that makes it miserable for me.... I make her watch every commercial and then watch her reaction...lol.  We still go to Toys R Us to make out a list in which I add stuff myself because its so short.... last year was the dreaded "Santa" unveiling.  Now she is convinced that everything is too expensive. (My dh was layed off mid year, but we have rebounded).  I am not big on the gift card thing right now...

 

I need ideas!!!!!    

She sounds like a great kid - you must be doing something right .  What if you re-did her bedroom? She's getting to that age where she's not a little girl, but not a big girl either. You could buy a new comforter set and curtains, maybe a lamp, wall décor, stuff like that.  You could make it as bright and fun or as funky as you think she'd like it. Just one idea. 

[jewleyp]

Yes she loves making things with duct tape. Lol. I will look around at some of the kits for bracelets I'm sure she would like those. Thx

My DD loves the duct tape thing also.  She recently got the kit to make knit hats/scarves at Michaels.  I wasn't sure that she would do it but she has been mass producing them for her friends.  That may be something she would like also!

She sounds like a great kid - you must be doing something right .  What if you re-did her bedroom? She's getting to that age where she's not a little girl, but not a big girl either. You could buy a new comforter set and curtains, maybe a lamp, wall décor, stuff like that.  You could make it as bright and fun or as funky as you think she'd like it. Just one idea. 

We recently moved so that would be a great idea!  We bought her an aquarium for being such a big help in the move.... Maybe fish to match...lol

[daysangel]

My daughters will be 6 1/2 and 2 at Christmas. The oldest wants a nabi, and I'm thinking of getting my youngest a nabi jr. Anyone have any experience with these?

[starbeck96]

My daughter got a nabi last year for Christmas and she loves it.  The only problem that we've had with it is the charger, which they replaced for free.  My daughter loves it! 

We added the amazon app and downloaded several free games.  We also downloaded Netflix for her.  She uses it mostly in the evening.  We homeschool too, and there are several educational games that come pre-loaded that she enjoys doing with my help.