47 replies to this topic

[hillbillyswife]

I am the type of person who is greatful for whatever I get. I know it sounds cheesey but if you take the time to get me a gift I am happy. I have a few people who I have to buy gifts for that are very ungreatful........why did you buy flowers they just die, oh you only got me a $5 box of chocolate, what am I going to do with this??????/........just a few comments I have heard in the past. They give me money to get the kids gift from them (the money is only for the children not my husband or I ) so we do a christmas with them. As I do all the cooking and supply all the food I even said that was our christmas to them...no go Any ideas on what I can buy or make them???? I love to give gifts weather I get one or not but not for these people. And yes I have to give gifts to keep peace with my husband

Edited by hillbillyswife, Dec 27, 2012 - 5:07 am.

[jakesmommy403]

Anything you get for those kind of people won't be good enough, so make it a joke to yourself. When you pick the gift, think "oh yeah, so and so will hate this" and that way you'll have your own little inside joke to get you through it. How about food gifts like Hickory Farms (not too expensive), candles, comfy blankets, or something generally gifty like that? When they hate it, who cares, you barely put thought into it. Go to Walmart, hit the boxed gift aisle, boom. Done. Good luck!

[Mandy4Matt]

I don't mention this much...but my mother in law..actually most of my hubby's family..they just do not care about our children..who happen to be the only grandchildren for that side of the family. No calls or emails to check on them..just nothing. We used to send them very nice gifts and maybe months later or IF we made an effort and asked if they received the gift they would say yes...but good luck getting a Thanks. This year...I'm done. Not a gift, not a family picture, not a holiday card. You don't care about my kids, I'm not wasting my energy on you. I have tried all the prior years so that my children could have some sort of relationship with them...but they just don't care. So, I'm done caring too, I feel a bit guilty..but will not change my mind.

[donella]

I have had the same problem like that but it wasn't family.I told them last year money was tight and I wasn't buying for anyone but my kids so they didn't get us anything.I was so glad.We never used what they got us and they didn't need anything we got them either because you don't know what they use.

[Kanyon71]

If you feel you want or need to get people like this something then make a donation in their name to your favorite charity. At least you know it's helping someone out and is sort of a SO THERE type of moment. I refuse to let other scrooges make me one.

[tinkrbel]

hmmmm...I have one notoriously thankless and ungreatful person and I get her whatever I think will be appreciated/useful and falls within my budget for them. I refuse to spend over 20-30 (on them) because I know the kind of reception I'll get. Even buying a leftover item from a recent registry for this person was not suitable, but then again I later found out they add expensive crap to registry so dummies buy and they can return for cash/credit.

[allshoppedout]

I don't mention this much...but my mother in law..actually most of my hubby's family..they just do not care about our children..who happen to be the only grandchildren for that side of the family. No calls or emails to check on them..just nothing. We used to send them very nice gifts and maybe months later or IF we made an effort and asked if they received the gift they would say yes...but good luck getting a Thanks. This year...I'm done. Not a gift, not a family picture, not a holiday card. You don't care about my kids, I'm not wasting my energy on you. I have tried all the prior years so that my children could have some sort of relationship with them...but they just don't care. So, I'm done caring too, I feel a bit guilty..but will not change my mind.

This Sounds like people I have to deal with too! They don't send ME a card, or a photo, or anything good, only gave us clearance stuff ever! I think 80% of it was re-gifted actually. When I sent a special photo, no THANK YOU, hello, not free to get an enlargement from photo studio, plus pay to have it mailed. When I got them donuts, they complained they didn't like chocolate (only 4 were choc iced/or chocolate cake) and they don't drink coffee!! Back then I said to myself, do I really want to be friends with people who DON'T like coffee OR chocolate, surely something is wrong with THEM!
I tried to treat them to movies--wait get this--movies are TOO Crude OR too VIOLENT, ok, then how is it you can watch the evening news where they show tornadoes and people's homes destroyed? and how about 60 minutes when they talk about people in the church molesting? Isn't that all to crude and upsetting and violent? and that is REAL, when you go to the movies, you know it is FAKE (unless you go to a documentary).
Bought the "female" creature a beautiful gold pendant and chain--never wore it!

Guess what, I QUIT, no more nothing. I was TOO kind and TOO generous and TOO thoughtful for them. They didn't know what thoughtful was! and sadly they probably don't even miss the stuff I/we gave, as they are too dumb to know better, some people you just can't get through to.

To the original poster I say RUN, tell your husband to buy for them. Don't aggravate yourself! Your kind heart could be used to volunteer a few hours at a nursing home, to read to an elderly person who has no one.... or give a special needs mom a break for 1 hour a week, or shovel the driveway of a handicapped person. This family you are dealing with are not worth a dime.

[2chia]

I would say make a donation to charity in their name,too . That is a great idea. Or, just send a Christmas card to their house and say Happy Holiday. But, if you MUST give them a gift set a very , very , VERY low budget so that if the gift you buy they don't like, you wouldn't be so hurt.

[conj]

These people are ripe to receive fundraiser gifts.. buy from a good cause - like the school - and know your money is well spent. Buy them wrapping paper, or popcorn tins, or magazine subscriptions (which arrive every month to remind them of you) or a box of THANK YOU cards

[2chia]

These people are ripe to receive fundraiser gifts.. buy from a good cause - like the school - and know your money is well spent. Buy them wrapping paper, or popcorn tins, or magazine subscriptions (which arrive every month to remind them of you) or a box of THANK YOU cards

Hey, I love the Thank You Card idea. Make sure the cards has huge words of THANK YOU and no distracting background.

[AndreaInNC]

I like to make cookies in a jar .. it's not that expensive and you an normally find the jars at Goodwill or a 2nd hand type shop. My coworker has a SIL that loves to give them promotional giveaway type items as gifts. Stuff they got for free.

[hillbillyswife]

Thank you for all the input I am sorry others deal with people like that too but I am greatful to have the support from you

[conj]

I just became the ungrateful gift recipient. Freaking cat. Really. A mouse? In my bed? While I'm sleeping? And now you want to know where I put the thing???! Sent from my iPhone using GottaDeal

[mgmckny]

I just became the ungrateful gift recipient. Freaking cat. Really. A mouse? In my bed? While I'm sleeping? And now you want to know where I put the thing???!

Sent from my iPhone using GottaDeal

Oh MYY!

[hillbillyswife]

I just became the ungrateful gift recipient. Freaking cat. Really. A mouse? In my bed? While I'm sleeping? And now you want to know where I put the thing???!

Sent from my iPhone using GottaDeal

oh no !!!

[conj]

I just became the ungrateful gift recipient. Freaking cat. Really. A mouse? In my bed? While I'm sleeping? And now you want to know where I put the thing???!

Sent from my iPhone using GottaDeal

DH went outside this morning the *!@#*_&$@* thing came right back in! check out the tracks!

[stevierocks]

what on earth????the cat didnt kill it????you had a live mouse in your bed???? im confused.. as for op question....maybe a certificate for a home cooked meal made from the heart... then you can just deliver the meal..

Edited by stevierocks, Nov 30, 2012 - 9:45 am.
adding comment

[chrisjuvers]

What about a small gift basket of food? I mean a cheaply made one with spaghettl noodles, pasta sauce, cake mix, etc. Then put a nice note inside about how you think they will "love cooking together & spending time with the one THEY love." how can they complain about that, a gift they can enjoy together & it looks like you're so thoughtful. Its practical (food) & dont worry about shopping for them until you need groceries again.

[Kanyon71]

What about a small gift basket of food? I mean a cheaply made one with spaghettl noodles, pasta sauce, cake mix, etc. Then put a nice note inside about how you think they will "love cooking together & spending time with the one THEY love." how can they complain about that, a gift they can enjoy together & it looks like you're so thoughtful. Its practical (food) & dont worry about shopping for them until you need groceries again.

Did you really just ask how someone can complain about something?

OH people can find ways to complain about ANYTHING. You could give someone $1M tax free dollars and they would say sheesh you have $10M you could have given me more. lol

I'm only messing with you but I see day in and day out so many people are so ungrateful for anything and everything. It makes me laugh and feel sorry for them at the same time.

[christina5704]

DH went outside this morning the *!@#*_&$@* thing came right back in! check out the tracks!

I know it isn't for you, but this is hilarious! The mouse liked your house and it was COLD outside!

[conj]

Sorry to thread jack... Yes. Cat brought the mouse to me, in bed, as a gift. I *thought* the mouse was dead, I got DH (who was watching a game) to come get it. then the cat showed off by tapping the thing. it ran up the bed. Dh caught it, and through it out in the snow. It ran back in.

[mgmckny]

Sorry to thread jack... Yes. Cat brought the mouse to me, in bed, as a gift. I *thought* the mouse was dead, I got DH (who was watching a game) to come get it. then the cat showed off by tapping the thing. it ran up the bed. Dh caught it, and through it out in the snow. It ran back in.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh until tears ran down my face. Have received several such "gifts" over the years from the fur babies (one of the current ones has managed to find the only lizards that have gotten inside a screened in patio).

[josetann]

I don't buy gifts for anyone but our kids. Problem solved. We'll have meals with our relatives, spend time with them, bake Christmas goodies for them to take home...but no store-bought gifts anymore. Though with us being so far away this year...can't even do that...I guess some free phone calls are all they're gonna get. First year doing this, a few still bought us gifts...when they didn't get anything they quickly got the picture (or slowly...I mean we did give them lots of advance warning). They still get gifts for the kids...cause I'm not going to dictate who can and can't give gifts to our kids. Well, I can't dictate who gives US gifts either, but I can let my preference be known (my mom still gives us some cash, I'd rather she didn't but it makes her happy, so there ya go).

[bamaboundmommy]

Kinda made me chuckle to myself. My in-laws are the most self centered people I have ever met. DH's step-mom has money and we are just normal middle class. We see them maybe 6 times a year which is 6 times to many in my book. We have been married 19 years. In the 18 years that we have been married during Christmas time, not once have they ever liked what we gave them. Every year, we give great thought in what to give them and every year they roll their eyes and make snide comments that hurt. You would think by now my feelings wouldn't be hurt......unfortunately this would be wrong. This year we are giving my DH's Dad a jacket for the college our son will be going to in the fall and his step-mother a Vera Bradley purse. We have senior pictures and a joint gift certificate too. Again, they will hate this. They use to hate our children but now "enjoy" them only because they excel in school and extra curricular activities. They can brag...if they were average students, I'm sure they would still have the same feelings for them. Shoot, step-mom was so hateful when our daughter was a toddler and on a feeding tube and they thought she had Cystic Fibrosis that she said maybe it had ben better off if she had never been born. Again.....GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Forgive me for ranting. I'm a happy go lucky person, but they just make me nuts! :-/

[mgmckny]

Kinda made me chuckle to myself. My in-laws are the most self centered people I have ever met. DH's step-mom has money and we are just normal middle class. We see them maybe 6 times a year which is 6 times to many in my book. We have been married 19 years. In the 18 years that we have been married during Christmas time, not once have they ever liked what we gave them. Every year, we give great thought in what to give them and every year they roll their eyes and make snide comments that hurt. You would think by now my feelings wouldn't be hurt......unfortunately this would be wrong. This year we are giving my DH's Dad a jacket for the college our son will be going to in the fall and his step-mother a Vera Bradley purse. We have senior pictures and a joint gift certificate too. Again, they will hate this. They use to hate our children but now "enjoy" them only because they excel in school and extra curricular activities. They can brag...if they were average students, I'm sure they would still have the same feelings for them. Shoot, step-mom was so hateful when our daughter was a toddler and on a feeding tube and they thought she had Cystic Fibrosis that she said maybe it had ben better off if she had never been born. Again.....GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Forgive me for ranting. I'm a happy go lucky person, but they just make me nuts! :-/

Maybe you could get CONJ's cat to catch a mouse for them too.... Just sayin.....

[bamaboundmommy]

Maybe you could get CONJ's cat to catch a mouse for them too.... Just sayin.....

Now THAT is funny!

[Kanyon71]

Kinda made me chuckle to myself. My in-laws are the most self centered people I have ever met. DH's step-mom has money and we are just normal middle class. We see them maybe 6 times a year which is 6 times to many in my book. We have been married 19 years. In the 18 years that we have been married during Christmas time, not once have they ever liked what we gave them. Every year, we give great thought in what to give them and every year they roll their eyes and make snide comments that hurt. You would think by now my feelings wouldn't be hurt......unfortunately this would be wrong. This year we are giving my DH's Dad a jacket for the college our son will be going to in the fall and his step-mother a Vera Bradley purse. We have senior pictures and a joint gift certificate too. Again, they will hate this. They use to hate our children but now "enjoy" them only because they excel in school and extra curricular activities. They can brag...if they were average students, I'm sure they would still have the same feelings for them. Shoot, step-mom was so hateful when our daughter was a toddler and on a feeding tube and they thought she had Cystic Fibrosis that she said maybe it had ben better off if she had never been born. Again.....GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Forgive me for ranting. I'm a happy go lucky person, but they just make me nuts! :-/

Wow being the type of person I am, I'm not sure I couldn't have looked at her and said in a dead straight face I wish the same thing about you every day yet it doesn't seem to do any good. The door is right over there behind you please use it now and while you're at it forget where we live and our number. Thank you and have a blessed day.

[copados1993]

I will say when the step-mom made the comment about DD, it took me a year to seak to them again. The only reason I tolerate anything is because it is DH's Dad. My kids are our world and they know that their grandparents are unkind people. We do not speak about them in front of the kids, they just know because of how they have been treated. Our kids are VERY luckythat they come from such a loved family otherwsie (both sides). We will never change them. They are who they are. :-(

[leefamily23]

I have to agree w/ the posters who said you get them NOTHING. This is my MIL too a "T". She and I are barely civil to each other and we do that because we only see each other on Christmas Day (at a larger gathering for dh's family otherwise I probably wouldn't see her at all). The rest of the year dh visits with her on his own. My son is from a previous relationship and we have no children together, so we don't have to deal with that issue. Anyhow, no matter what I'd try to get her she would open it grimace and literall dump it to the side. Dh will have asked her very specifically what she wanted, I will get it, then she has complained that is what everyone got her she doesn't need anymore. Then why did you tell him to get that? I stopped about 4 years ago getting her anything at all. Told dh if he wanted to he could, but he hasn't. Flip side....she has made sure I also know what she thinks of me via her Christmas gift giving. Money is not an issue, she will give decent appropriate gifts to others. However, I have gotten a used bathroom complete with stains and her cigarette burn holes as my Christmas gift--- wrapped up nicely though . I have also gotten socks that she removed the matching sock to each pair so I got only 1 sock.....not sure what that was about. Another year she gave me a perfume gift set and I am not joking when I tell you the bottle (it was clear glass) was half empty. Then I got some glass reindeer thing that had the antlers broke off. Anyhow, I've learned she doesn't like me, I don't like her. Because of that no matter how much thought went into a gift (which I used to do--not so much for her but for dh) she'd never be happy. So I made myself happy and stopped.

[dullestbear]

get them a gas card everyone needs gas