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Holiday Blues


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#1 floridasun5  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 5:56 am

Posting to see if anyone else is suffering this year so maybe we can have our own thread to sympathize with each other amid all the other festive threads.   Don't want to make it a pity party, but it's always nice to know you aren't alone, so if anyone else is going through a tough time, feel free to post.     As well, if anyone has any ideas on how to beat these, please post.  Just can't seem to make myself get out to do anything fun or Christmas-y.

 

It's the first holiday without my daughter (only child) as she moved away this past spring to the other side of the country.  I'm also an only child and as such, only have my mother left to my family.   So I really don't even get the joy anymore in Christmas shopping for my DD since she only wants money sent to her.  In addition, I was just laid off of my job a month ago so any shopping or even participating in Black Friday this year is extremely limited and I have to make sure that any events don't cost much anyway.   I wish I had the comfort and support of my boyfriend as well, but he has his own family with kids, parents and siblings that he makes plans with.  I could certainly attend those events or even other friends invites, but nothing like feeling like a 3rd or 5th wheel in the room to help (NOT!) with the blues.

 

If anyone else is feeling alone this time of year, please post and let's help each other!  

 

 



#2 ajogg  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 9:39 am

Posting to see if anyone else is suffering this year so maybe we can have our own thread to sympathize with each other amid all the other festive threads.   Don't want to make it a pity party, but it's always nice to know you aren't alone, so if anyone else is going through a tough time, feel free to post.     As well, if anyone has any ideas on how to beat these, please post.  Just can't seem to make myself get out to do anything fun or Christmas-y.

 

It's the first holiday without my daughter (only child) as she moved away this past spring to the other side of the country.  I'm also an only child and as such, only have my mother left to my family.   So I really don't even get the joy anymore in Christmas shopping for my DD since she only wants money sent to her.  In addition, I was just laid off of my job a month ago so any shopping or even participating in Black Friday this year is extremely limited and I have to make sure that any events don't cost much anyway.   I wish I had the comfort and support of my boyfriend as well, but he has his own family with kids, parents and siblings that he makes plans with.  I could certainly attend those events or even other friends invites, but nothing like feeling like a 3rd or 5th wheel in the room to help (NOT!) with the blues.

 

If anyone else is feeling alone this time of year, please post and let's help each other!  

I hope things will be looking up for you soon. My fiancee passed away in September, so I'm sure the Holidays will be tough for me this year especially. She had been in and out of hospitals since October of 2017 and was home for about a month or so before having to go back into the hospital, and died after being in hospitals for 6 more weeks. I hope your boyfriend and friends can lift your spirits a bit, it does seem like a lot of people get the blues this time of year.



#3 floridasun5  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 3:08 pm

I hope things will be looking up for you soon. My fiancee passed away in September, so I'm sure the Holidays will be tough for me this year especially. She had been in and out of hospitals since October of 2017 and was home for about a month or so before having to go back into the hospital, and died after being in hospitals for 6 more weeks. I hope your boyfriend and friends can lift your spirits a bit, it does seem like a lot of people get the blues this time of year.

 

I'm so sorry to har that ajogg.  I'm sure that has to be super hard, not only being so new and fresh but also at this time of year.  I hope that you have some sort of support system at home.

 

Please feel free to post here if needed.  Hate the thought of others going through rough times as well, especially if they don't have anyone else to talk to.



#4 ilikefree  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 4:39 pm

I've started threads on this very topic several times, but never posted them. I feel the same way...I used to LOVE Christmas, my favorite time of year. But over the years it's just become less and less joyous for me and I don't know why. Four and a half years ago we lost my mom and she had been sick for quite a while before that so that has a lot to do with it, but even before she got sick I was having these feelings. I don't even feel like putting my tree up and decorating anymore. I do it just to try to boost my spirits and I do like the way the house looks when it is decorated but it just isn't the same. My husband was never big into Christmas decorating before we got married but he helps me decorate because he knows I like it. I just don't know what it is but I'm hoping we can all get over it.

 

ajogg, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine a loss like that. Hugs to you.



#5 ajogg  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 7:44 pm

I'm so sorry to har that ajogg.  I'm sure that has to be super hard, not only being so new and fresh but also at this time of year.  I hope that you have some sort of support system at home.

 

Please feel free to post here if needed.  Hate the thought of others going through rough times as well, especially if they don't have anyone else to talk to.

I think that this was a good thing for you to start. A lot of need support, and hopefully we can build each other up (or at least cheer each other up) a bit.



#6 jesusluvu  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 23, 2018 - 8:48 pm

I think that this was a good thing for you to start. A lot of need support, and hopefully we can build each other up (or at least cheer each other up) a bit.

I agree, It is the happiest time of the year but also the hardest for a lot of people. It is not good to hold it in and having a safe environment to voice your feelings are key. I hate to hear the troubles and pain that you all are feeling and I too deal with it at times. I try to focus on one good memory and hold onto that feeling to get me through. Does it always work know, but I am thankful for the times it does. You can be in a room full of people and family and still feel completely lonely.... I will be checking in regularly. If there is anything I can do to help just let me know. 



#7 jstluvem  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 24, 2018 - 4:44 am

Just want to send a cyber hug out to you
You are not alone
We have 8 children and 24 grandchildren yet it's hard for anyone to understand how alone i sometimes feel especially when I see that one ornament on our tree or hear a song
I feel guilty for having melancholy moments when everyone and everything is happy
I can see on everyone's face they don't know how or what to do to lighten the mood
Truth is I need those moments I want to just relax with my memories and cry or laugh
The forums on GD really do help I don't do a lot of interaction but I read others posts and can relate its kinda like cyber therapy for me
I wish you each peace

#8 wittenlover  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 26, 2018 - 8:25 am

Twelve years since I lost Mom, 11 since I lost my grandparents, brother lives across the country and can't get home for the holidays, leaving just Dad and I local. Neither of us have "special someones" in our lives, so it's usually just the two of us for holiday meals. It does make the holidays a bit rough sometimes...

 

That said, I take moments for myself and allow myself the melancholy times because it's definitely not good to bury our pain. But... I do my best to "fake it till I make it". I'm very attached to music, so I look for songs that lift my spirits no matter the season, be it something that reminds me of my hard-rock loving mom (think AC/DC, etc) or a song that just brings me joy in general. 

 

For any of you GD'ers who are having a rough time this season, know I think of you as "extended family" so you are never alone, even in the moments when loneliness weighs on you the heaviest. You all are in my prayers. 


For those curious: Kitty in my pic is current furbaby, Mew, curled up in a box far too small for her. Ha! "If I fits, I sleeps!"

 

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#9 Kanyon71  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 26, 2018 - 8:34 am

Twelve years since I lost Mom, 11 since I lost my grandparents, brother lives across the country and can't get home for the holidays, leaving just Dad and I local. Neither of us have "special someones" in our lives, so it's usually just the two of us for holiday meals. It does make the holidays a bit rough sometimes...

 

That said, I take moments for myself and allow myself the melancholy times because it's definitely not good to bury our pain. But... I do my best to "fake it till I make it". I'm very attached to music, so I look for songs that lift my spirits no matter the season, be it something that reminds me of my hard-rock loving mom (think AC/DC, etc) or a song that just brings me joy in general. 

 

For any of you GD'ers who are having a rough time this season, know I think of you as "extended family" so you are never alone, even in the moments when loneliness weighs on you the heaviest. You all are in my prayers. 

Well here's a double smile for you. :) :)

 

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#10 tracy0504  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 26, 2018 - 9:56 am

For the first time, probably ever, I do not feel like celebrating... so many things have been going on in my life this year where it's been one blow after another and the weight of it all has crushed my spirit...I keep trying and pushing myself everyday, but I didn't even want to make TG dinner this year even though I had already bought all of the stuff...now Christmas is approaching and I'm no where near the mood I am usually in...don't even feel like decorating the tree...



#11 jesusluvu  OFFLINE  

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Posted Nov 26, 2018 - 3:47 pm

For the first time, probably ever, I do not feel like celebrating... so many things have been going on in my life this year where it's been one blow after another and the weight of it all has crushed my spirit...I keep trying and pushing myself everyday, but I didn't even want to make TG dinner this year even though I had already bought all of the stuff...now Christmas is approaching and I'm no where near the mood I am usually in...don't even feel like decorating the tree...

Tracy I am praying for you as well. I look foward to seeing your post every year. I know it may seem rough but you have made it this far. Keep pushing and find something to hold onto that will make you smile everyday. Even if it is just for a moment here and there. Sometimes we have to make ourselves even when we don't want to and then we find ourselves enjoying and totally forgetting that issues if but for a moment. 



#12 AndreaInNC  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 3, 2018 - 1:10 pm

Christmas hasn't been the same for me since I lost my dad 25 years ago.  It was his favorite holiday, and he passed on 12/5.  I hang the ornament on the tree that I'd bought for him that Christmas every year.  I lost my mom over 12 years ago and it got even harder. 

 

I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving or Christmas with my youngest in a few years since she moved.  She's a chef, so it's always her busiest time. 

 

I actually had Thanksgiving dinner with my Ex since I knew both of us were going to be alone. 

 

I do have the outside of my home decorated, but I dread the rest.  It's so much work and so hard since everything I own has some type of memory attached to it. 



#13 Silverstreak24  OFFLINE  

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Posted Dec 13, 2018 - 10:56 am

I can sympathize with everyone else in this thread. This year is hard for me too because my mother is dying of Parkinson’s. It’s been a long 16 year illness but now she’s losing weight rapidly and is having serious trouble eating anything and probably doesn’t have much time. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. For me, getting through it and trying to make the best of it has meant doing things I haven’t necessarily wanted to do. This year, I went and sang Christmas carols with my church for some elderly people who needed their spirits lifted. I also invited some people who were alone on TG to spend it with my husband and I.

I think, as hard as it is, even when we’re down it is important to step out of our comfort zones and find ways to be a blessing to others and I think the OP is awesome for starting this thread because I felt like I was the only one feeling lonely. It’s so hard this time of year when everyone is merry and it just feels...different. Knowing we’re not alone is important. They say the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up. Maybe we should try and spread some cheer to more people and see if that helps? I don’t know. Just a thought.




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