We have both.

Hers and his, plus a joint account for larger monthly bills.

What about you?

only joint--i think that after 16 years of marriage, if I can't trust him with the money, who can I trust?? (and vice versa)

We have both.

Hers and his, plus a joint account for larger monthly bills.

What about you?

We have two separate joint checking accounts.

We have VERY different ideas about balancing a checkbook.

Besides, she has USAA which her military pay is directly deposited in. That is great, because she never has to change it.

On the other hand, it is always nice to have a local bank as well, so that is normally my account.

I use the "buffer" method of keeping track of my checkbook. It is all mental, and then I write down the balance at the end of the month and make sure that everything that came out was accounted for.

My wife on the other hand actually likes to keep hers balanced. What is up with that?

We tried having a single account when we first got married... that didn't work out so well... :)

I use the "buffer" method of keeping track of my checkbook. It is all mental, and then I write down the balance at the end of the month and make sure that everything that came out was accounted for.

Hehe I use a similiar "buffer" method.

We have a joint account, and are pretty open about the way our money is spent.

Only dh brings home a paycheck, so there is no such thing as "his" money and "my" money here. We have a joint account that his pay is direct deposited into, and I do all the banking, bill-paying, food-buying, etc. He hates dealing with bills and budgets and isn't very good at it anyway LOL. I don't mind doing it.

Hehe I use a similiar "buffer" method.

Same here... except now that I never use my debit card, it's not hard to keep track. I only do a few transactions a month out of my bank account, so the balance is usually accurate.

We haven't decided if we're doing joint or separate accounts yet. It really doesn't matter, we're both very sensible with our money and neither of us questions what the other buys (don't tell Jenni about my minor eBay addiction!). Any major purchases (anything over $100) we usually talk about first.

Although I've never been married (knock on wood! :))I think it's important for each person to have their own small account to be independent and have their own play money to buy things they want for themselves without getting into the family real money that is used for rent, food,etc. That said, I know no one who does that...

Although I've never been married (knock on wood! :))I think it's important for each person to have their own small account to be independent and have their own play money to buy things they want for themselves without getting into the family real money that is used for rent, food,etc. That said, I know no one who does that...

LOL, we might do something like that if we had more money, but we don't have enough spare/"play" money to warrant bank accounts for it. Most accounts are only free with direct deposit, too, and dh and I both usually get $50 per pay period to spend on ourselves. He usually blows his on fast food at lunchtime and I usually spend mine on clothes for the kids...so it's really not that great a system LOL...but we do each get spending money of our own. But we live paycheck to paycheck on lower enlisted military pay, with 3 kids to raise...so we know that this just isn't the stage in our life that we'll be buying a bunch of things for ourselves. Hopefully that day will come at some point though. I'd like to be able to buy myself summer clothes someday without having to bump the phone bill to the next pay period...sigh...

seperate accounts

we have a joint ING savings account for now, but that's emergency funds for us.

I am with outnumbered here. DH brings home the paycheck (military as well), so we have "our" money. When he is on deployment the seperation pay is his to play with, we dont have it in the budget normally, so I dont miss it when it isnt there. He hates dealing with our finances, and last time I left him a bill to pay he forgot.

He hates dealing with our finances, and last time I left him a bill to pay he forgot.
I hope it was paid eventually and didn't negatively impact either of your credit histories?

One account. Never have understood people with seperate accounts. I've never met any couple with seperate accounts that stay married over 5 years. Why get married if you don't trust each other?

I'm not married, but I'm answering as my adopted parents (who got married when mom was 18 & Dad was 21, and have been married for 35 years):

Dad's checking account is at one bank, and mom's is at another. They both only carry their own checkbooks, but each of their names are on both accounts, and they each have checkbooks to both. Their paychecks are deposited into the respective account. Dad pays all of the bills and such out of his checking account, and Mom pays for any entertainment, non-essentials, etc., out of her account.

Married - two joint accounts. One of the House, one for everything else

Married- two joint accounts, two different financial institutions. I let hubby balance one (makes him feel useful...shhh..lol), I handle the other one. I am an accounts payable manager at work (write checks all the time), so I need the break at home.

During our first 3 years of marriage we had joint accounts (both savings and checking)
After that he decided he needed to be "independent" and get his own accounts without me. :squint:

After the fact, I have noticed that I end up saving more money by myself. It seems as if it was I who was coming out my pocket more when we had joint accounts. Now I keep my stash and let him pay for his own bills :2woot:

We have separate checking accounts (for now at least) but we have two joint savings accounts, one at ING and one in Canada.

Hey there!

I have a question :grandpa:

let's say your wife or husband refused to your suggestion to establish establish a joint account for emergency funds (such as 4-6 months worth of living expenses) Take in to consideration that you both do not have any bank accounts together?

what would you do in that situation?

This is really bothering me because currently we are splitting all the bills down the middle. I am starting to feel as if we are roomates :(

Hey there!

I have a question :grandpa:

let's say your wife or husband refused to your suggestion to establish establish a joint account for emergency funds (such as 4-6 months worth of living expenses) Take in to consideration that you both do not have any bank accounts together?

what would you do in that situation?

This is really bothering me because currently we are splitting all the bills down the middle. I am starting to feel as if we are roomates :(

I think you are asking two different questions. It sounds like you want a joint account for an emergency fund and a joint account for living expenses. I think that is a MUST for a married couple. You are right, spliting everything 50/50 must seem odd.

I strongly feel that a couple should have a joint account and two seperate accounts if they are both working. It's important that some money is "ours", some money is "his" and some money is "hers". Suze Orman believes in that theory. Dave Ramsey will say it is all "ours".

Either way, you are not in either court. Discuss it with your significant other and stress how important this is to you. Money is a huge cause of divorce.

Money is a huge cause of divorce.

yup.

Hey, Win, I guess what I would do if I were you is start setting aside that E-fund now. You'll go at it alone for a while, but it will become obvious that it's a wise thing to do and it shows that you know how to handle your money. I don't know what the real issue is, because it's a logical thing to do, but just be patient and hope that they end up seeing things your way.

I strongly feel that a couple should have a joint account and two seperate accounts if they are both working. It's important that some money is "ours", some money is "his" and some money is "hers". Suze Orman believes in that theory. Dave Ramsey will say it is all "ours".


Jenni and I take the Dave Ramsey approach (not because Dave Ramsey suggests it, I've never listened to the guy). And yet we don't actually have a joint checking or savings account yet...

It works for us because we're both very frugal, and we make quite a bit more than our monthly expenses. So it doesn't matter to her that all of our house bills are paid out of her checking account... it's just been that way since before I lived there, and whether she pays them or I pay them or we split them, we still have the same amount of money going out, and the same amount of money going into savings regardless of who it is coming from.

She doesn't care what I spend money on and I don't care what she spends money on because we know we both keep in mind our goal of owning a house, etc.

Win, how long have you been married? The way you keep your finances entirely separate is rather strange.

Hey, Win, I guess what I would do if I were you is start setting aside that E-fund now. You'll go at it alone for a while, but it will become obvious that it's a wise thing to do and it shows that you know how to handle your money. I don't know what the real issue is, because it's a logical thing to do, but just be patient and hope that they end up seeing things your way.

that's what I am hoping, thanks.

Jenni and I take the Dave Ramsey approach (not because Dave Ramsey suggests it, I've never listened to the guy). And yet we don't actually have a joint checking or savings account yet...

It works for us because we're both very frugal, and we make quite a bit more than our monthly expenses. So it doesn't matter to her that all of our house bills are paid out of her checking account... it's just been that way since before I lived there, and whether she pays them or I pay them or we split them, we still have the same amount of money going out, and the same amount of money going into savings regardless of who it is coming from.

She doesn't care what I spend money on and I don't care what she spends money on because we know we both keep in mind our goal of owning a house, etc.

Win, how long have you been married? The way you keep your finances entirely separate is rather strange.



we have been married for 4 years.

I think you are asking two different questions. It sounds like you want a joint account for an emergency fund and a joint account for living expenses. I think that is a MUST for a married couple. You are right, spliting everything 50/50 must seem odd.

I strongly feel that a couple should have a joint account and two seperate accounts if they are both working. It's important that some money is "ours", some money is "his" and some money is "hers". Suze Orman believes in that theory. Dave Ramsey will say it is all "ours".

Either way, you are not in either court. Discuss it with your significant other and stress how important this is to you. Money is a huge cause of divorce.
I am heading there

Jenni and I take the Dave Ramsey approach (not because Dave Ramsey suggests it, I've never listened to the guy). And yet we don't actually have a joint checking or savings account yet...

It works for us because we're both very frugal, and we make quite a bit more than our monthly expenses. So it doesn't matter to her that all of our house bills are paid out of her checking account... it's just been that way since before I lived there, and whether she pays them or I pay them or we split them, we still have the same amount of money going out, and the same amount of money going into savings regardless of who it is coming from.

She doesn't care what I spend money on and I don't care what she spends money on because we know we both keep in mind our goal of owning a house, etc.

Win, how long have you been married? The way you keep your finances entirely separate is rather strange.

I think the Dave Ramsey approach is good for some and the Suze Orman approach is good for others. I think it depends on the personalities of the couple. In both scenerios, there is a sense of financial responsibility as a married couple and not two people living together.

I don't think keeping seperate accounts and each person paying half the bills is a good idea for a marriage. I see way too many opportunities for conflict.

You and Jenny sound like you have great financial habits. :)

My wife is in charge of the money. Currently we have integrated our 2 previous personal accounts (listed on each other's now).

We have a joint account we opened together. We share a couple of credit cards, we each have one that is just ours.

We are actually planning to separate our finances a bit though, mostly as protection for ourselves against lawsuits...

i.e. we don't have a house yet, when we do, it will be in only one name, put other property (cars, etc) into the other's name. Also probably try to get some accounts that aren't linked for those reasons. That way if for any reason (easiest being something as simple as a car crash or the like) one of us gets sued, there is a firm limit as to how much anyone could get.

We're paranoid, but are we paranoid ENOUGH?!?

:D

EDIT:

I gave my wife control of my finances when we were dating (in 2001), we didn't get married until September 27, 2003. 2 years tomorrow!!!! Going camping again for our anniversary(we did last year too)...romantic flaming campfire and a warm cozy tent for us ;)

I'm not married, but in my mind, we'd have a joint one for the majority of our money, plus seperate ones that a certain amount of money went into for personal things, random spending, gifts, or anything we wanted to do with it. Life happens though, who knows how it will actually be??

My husband and I have a joint checking and savings account. Also have CDs for ourselves and both children. However, I do have my own savings account from when I came into the marriage.

Married for close to 20 years. First 5-10 years, joint account.

Now separate accounts. We only do that though because if we are both doing bank transactions, there is now easy way to coordinate who's doing what.

We have a joint account and have had since about a year or so before we got married. Mind you we are just now coming up on 4 years of marriage. We are just now discussing getting me a separate checking acct for presents(both birthday and Christmas) and "big" entertainment (trips, etc.) because I handle all that and it would be nice if I knew exactly how much I could spend at a glance instead of having to figure it each time. We are hoping to set that up some time in January. We just moved and he just got out of the military so we haven't had the opportunity to do this before. With the move we pretty well tapped most of our savings so we are working on building that up now. The company he is with now has always given very nice Christmas bonuses for several years now so we are hoping for that as well. (Of course we aren't counting on it, but we are thinking about what we could/should do with it ;). ) That got way off topic: Anyhow, we do each have our own separate cash each pay period... I guess pay check now that we are civies again. I think that its important to have that "unaccountable" freedom with a little bit of spending money. Everything else is well budgeted and accounted for.

Amber

Joint checking and savings.

Money is a huge cause of divorce.

You mean the LACK of money is a huge cause of divorce. If you have tons of money, it wouldn't matter if you marry a spendthrift! :teacher:

As for us, joint account, joint savings, business account, business savings (we're both signers on the business accts.) We set up a joint account back when we were planning (and paying for) our wedding.

And just to make it interesting: checking and savings in the new business name (changing the name of the business, and from sole proprietor to LLC, had to get new accts.)

I track it... I never balance the accounts using the "traditional method" -- I just track it Quicken and verify it w/ what the online banking shows.

That way if for any reason (easiest being something as simple as a car crash or the like) one of us gets sued, there is a firm limit as to how much anyone could get. We're paranoid, but are we paranoid ENOUGH?!?

Consider a "balloon policy" on your insurance. It'll give you additional multi-purpose coverage (home, auto, etc.) for minimal cost. Talk to your agent. :g_thumbri

He is the one that brings home the paycheck but the checking and savings is joint. I have my own separate account for ebay and stuff.

I have been married 10 years. I have been a stay at home mom since my kids were born. We have one checking and savings account and I use the debit card for all my purchases. I use coupons for everything ( my kids call me coupon lady) get freebies and hot deals whenever I can, I trade online on coupon, refunding boards for coupons I want, I sell on Ebay for extra money too. That is how I was able to stay home all these years. We built our house 3 years ago and now we are investing for our kid's college funds.
Sonia :)

This is a good thread for me to read through. I get married in July. We are in discussion right now about what is best. We are leaning towards the joint, plus two seperate.

Both... It's nice being able to put a little away for things I might not want to discuss or her know about (like gifts for her!). Her school money is kept separate.

Unlike others, I have know couples who have been married a long time with separate accounts (btw - there's "a rat" in sepArate). I know one couple, married 15+ years, that has no joint account. All bills are divided up and each pays their bills. It works for them.

We have the joint account that the majority of things come out of - mortgage, fuel, food, etc. Then we move some into the separate accounts.

When I was married we had a joint account. I prefer it because its like I have more money to spend mine and his.

we have a joint account and I do all the bill paying from it too. Hubby hates to pay the bills.

For the last 11 years we had a joint ck acct. A few months ago, I opened another account but in my name only. He wasn't real happy about that but if he is going to make a bunch of withdrawals and not record them in the register, then I need an account that I can pay bills from and KNOW the money is there.

I imagine the whole checking account/money issue is something my fiance and I will have to play with before we can come up with a method that really works. I'm sure it will take some trial and error.

For the last 11 years we had a joint ck acct. A few months ago, I opened another account but in my name only. He wasn't real happy about that but if he is going to make a bunch of withdrawals and not record them in the register, then I need an account that I can pay bills from and KNOW the money is there.

I can see why that would upset him.

My wife and I have separate checking accounts, but they are both joint. (see my reply on the first page)

I bet that if you made the account joint and told him that it was for bills only, and that he wasn't to touch it, he would feel better about it.

Right now ours are separate, but once we set up an account after the move we will have both.

My wife is in charge of the money. Currently we have integrated our 2 previous personal accounts (listed on each other's now).

We have a joint account we opened together. We share a couple of credit cards, we each have one that is just ours.

We are actually planning to separate our finances a bit though, mostly as protection for ourselves against lawsuits...

i.e. we don't have a house yet, when we do, it will be in only one name, put other property (cars, etc) into the other's name. Also probably try to get some accounts that aren't linked for those reasons. That way if for any reason (easiest being something as simple as a car crash or the like) one of us gets sued, there is a firm limit as to how much anyone could get.

We're paranoid, but are we paranoid ENOUGH?!?

:D

EDIT:

I gave my wife control of my finances when we were dating (in 2001), we didn't get married until September 27, 2003. 2 years tomorrow!!!! Going camping again for our anniversary(we did last year too)...romantic flaming campfire and a warm cozy tent for us ;)


If you're doing this solely for "lawsuit protection", I'd suggest calling your insurance agent and talking to him/her about an umbrella policy... basically the idea is, if something happens and you get hit with a large lawsuit, the umbrella policy picks up where your regular insurance leaves off... and they're usually quite cheap... as in, $200-$400 per year for $2 million in coverage...


As for the original question, I'm a firm believer that a couple that keeps separate finances after being married has a trust issue... maybe that's a bit harsh, but I've yet to see a relationship survive without trust over money... part of that is because couples that separate their finances tend to have at least one partner that can't be trusted with money... and if it's not that, then it's a trust issue elsewhere in the relationship... and usually the partner that does not want to combine finances is the one that doesn't trust the financial habits of their partner... but that's just my opinion... YMMV...

One account. Never have understood people with seperate accounts. I've never met any couple with seperate accounts that stay married over 5 years. Why get married if you don't trust each other?

Well, let me introduce myself! I've been married 8+ years and we've always had separate accounts. I don't know why we do - no particular reason, but we do. It works for us and certainly has no consequences - positive or negative - on our marriage!

2 joint checking, one joint savings. our brokerage account is in my name only, but that was just because she wasn't there to fill out the paper work

my wife doesn't work outside the home (yet)

We have joint checking and savings. Actually, all of our accounts are joint except for a few department store credit cards. I am in charge of investing and spending while he balances the check book. I take $250 per month ( if we can afford it) and invest in stocks through Buy and Hold, and use the profits for splurges. He can access the stocks any time, but I would have to kill him. He really isn't good at investing at all. His 401k consisted of 100% money market accounts and he was using his checking account as a savings account when I met him. Oh, did that change fast!! I would open a separate account if I got serious about starting an EBay business, but otherwise wouldn't feel right if either of us had a separate account.

Learned the hard way after 16 years-separate

My husband and I just opened a second savings account for the college fund. A tad late, but at least we started. Made our first $100 deposit

Been married 17 yrs and have 4 checking accounts and 3 savings accounts. But we both have access to all. He uses USAA usually for his Navy pay and his regular paycheck direct deposit. But he had to get NAvy Federal Bank because it was easier to use when overseas. So he sends me an allotment each month to USAA to help on bills while he is gone. And I can get into Navy Federal while he is gone if I need to.

He started a savings account while he is in Iraq where he can save up to $10,000 and earn 10% interest for up to 3 months after he gets back. So right now he is concentrating on that. It is untouchable until he returns to the states.

Three of the banks that we use do not have a local branch so I have a local checking account where I deposit my check each week. My employer doesn't offer direct deposit.

We tried the "his" and "hers" when we were first married...but it always seemed like "his" was bigger..lol. But he was working more than I was and earning more.

DH and I have a joint checking account in which I am in charge of. He tends to forget to tell me things to write in the checkbook when he spends money. We also have a savings account...in my name but we both contribute to the account as well as take from it when needed.

We've had joint accounts since we were 16 (we're both 34 now), I do have a seperate account at ING that I use as a christmas club.

I know some married couples with seperate accounts, and they always lie to each other about money. I will never understand that.

Joint accounts since 16? Why? :confused:

We have separate accounts, we just haven't felt the need to get a joint account... We don't lie to each other though. But then we're both very frugal and don't spend money on things we don't need very often.

We have joint accounts. We do use seperate credit cards though, so that if we want to purchase something for the other for a surprise, we can. Like for Christmas, I purchase things and I will let him know how much I have spent so that he knows what to hold back to pay that off. Yes, he knows how much, but he doesn't know what I bought for him :) and vice versa. I suppose we could go online and get an idea of where or what, by going to the account online, but why ruin the surprise of a gift. We trust each other, so no problems with that.:)

His, Hers, Joint.....how else could we keep traack???:gd_purple

we have 3 joint accounts at 3 seperate banks.

We keep everything seperate...since in the last 3 years we've only been in the same state 6 months.

We had a joint until we separated several years ago and I got my own account. Now we have the joint and I have my personal. He has a personal account he uses just for his investments.

My husband and I must be 'old fashioned'. We have a joint checking account and two joint savings (one is ING). Anyway, he has a credit card, and I have two (I have an Old Navy that I never use and a Victoria's Secret I keep just to get the awesome coupons...), but aside from the two store cards, we are 'users' on each card, one of us is just the 'primary'. My husband brings home the majority of the money and I do the majority of the bill paying, groceries, and budgeting. He checks in just to see what the account is/are when he wants, but I handle the most of it. We totally trust one another with the money and we always discuss large purchases first.......so, we must pretty much be joint.....the mortgage is under both, and I am on his car, but he is not on mine. My car was a present from my parents for college graduation, so we aren't going to worry about the title until we want to trade, etc. We have been married four and almost a half years, and while we don't have a pile of money, we have the money "together". :gd_twocen

One account. Never have understood people with seperate accounts. I've never met any couple with seperate accounts that stay married over 5 years. Why get married if you don't trust each other?

Well, now you have. We have been married for 31+ years and each month I balance SIX different checking type accounts. Used to be eight, but my mother died and our daughter does her own now. Anyway, we have a joint one that all the general bills are paid out of and that's where his paycheck goes each time. Then we each have one connected to our separate Paypal accounts, we have two money markets (one ours and one for college daughter, which will be hers in 6 months), and lastly I have mine. I traveled on business as an independent contractor for a Fortune 5 company (no, not 500) for 10 years. Because I paid for all my expenses and then got reimbursed, I needed to have a separate one. Now I just keep it because I also now have a small craft business so that everything I earn and spend goes through that account and there is no question as to if I spent something on me that should have been money for general. Plus I know that when I buy DH a Christmas or birthday present, that I am actually buying it for him and not using the money he earns for HIS present! We don't buy a lot of stuff that can only be used for one person from the general account, except maybe for clothes, which isn't a lot. We do use it for mag subscriptions as we each have about equal amounts, plus he gets his extra newspaper each day, so I get my monthly book shipments.

Trust has nothing to do with it. I take care of EVERYTHING financially as he has screwed several things up in the past (misplaced bills, not bad things!) and I abhor paying penalties and interest!! So now he doesn't even see the bills......they go straight into my "To Pay" file and I sit down each Sunday and take care of them. It's just much easier to keep track of what goes where when it's this way.

Joint. Has been since we were married 6 years ago.

But, we're of the same mind on financial issues so it's never been a problem.

Seperate, he blows money and rights checks left and right, I knowm to the penny what I have, hubby could care less about his and I gave up on it.

We have a joint account.....my hubby couldn't handle his money on his own ;)

We have a joint checking and saving account. I pay all the bills from the checking account each month and put the rest in savings. We both still have our seperate checking accounts from when we were single ( we have only been married for 8 months) and we are planning on keeping the seperate ones because you never know when you are going to need extra cash. I know that we both make sure the bills are paid each month and that we save some (not this month) each month!

I agree with those that have only one account. We pool our money togehter, pay the bills and the rest stays there till needed. We also have seperate savings account in BOTH our names for when needed. I think part of Joining as a married couple includes EVERYTHING. There is nothing seperate his or hers in our marriage and after 10 years I think were doing great.

I however am resposible for the bills as far as paying them simple because he don't want the hassle and I don't mind. Also a victem of "send this out on so and so date honey, and he forgot.